WFH with a baby

[HollyIvy89]

is it unreasonable to work at home (away from office on agreed days) whilst having a young baby in the home being looked after a babysitter/nanny (not large home)

I don't know if you're agreeing with me but I stand by my observation.

Why would a man stop work when they have the baby's mother on hand and in charge?

It's just nature that a mother's reaction to hearing the same with a paid carer isnt going to be to totally undistracted

I tried this and found it hard to focus tbh because I could hear DS cry at times.

Not at all, even if you have to fit a tiny fold down desk in your bedroom and shut the door. Nice to have quick baby snuggles during coffee break and lunch break.

Um … there’s no ‘clearly’ about it. If you have a nanny, then she has sole charge. Full stop. And good nannies prefer this as it does not encroach on their role.

Your unfair assumptions are likely driving women out of the workforce.

Because the man is also the parent.

Wow.

@HollyIvy89 and is young baby being breastfed?? if so, how do you propose to feed the baby while working??

I should say, we did this with my parents as childcare and they generally took the baby out and about for significant periods of the day. They said to help me concentrate (which it did help, definitely) but may also have been to stop me worrying/fussing/interfering. Baby was formula fed in this scenario.

Women returning from mat leave are allowed time to pump. There’s no difference.

Hire robots then.

I am in no way agreeing with you, I found your view outdated and hugely sexist.

HTH

It’s fine.
Im on mat leave and my parter WFH and he doesn’t dash in every time the baby cries. I’ve done a few ad hoc days work and my mum comes to look after the baby and when I hear him cry I leave her to it, as I trust she’s doing just fine.

I work for a Govt Dept & have 2 colleagues who do this. They both have parents/carers nearby who can take the child should it be needed. But, because of our flexible working policy and the nature of our job which can be done at anytime of the day, they manage to WFH logging on at about 05:00-06:00, taking a break to feed child & finishing at about 11:00. Their children often feature in Teams meetings saying 'hello' to 'mummy's work friends' (which we love as our pets also often feature), but they are both good children who get on with playing while mummy works with the odd intervention from mum which is no more distracting than the postman knocking on the door, Amazon deliveries, husbands checking if we want a cuppa etc which the not mum's have.

Not true at all. Some people are capable of being professional.

On the other hand, there is also the argument that the 9 to 5 is done and employees aren't really doing it at all now - in all sectors. But employers are desperately clinging to that model.

In addition, the endless coffee / tea making in the workplace is a right time waste to me and has always annoyed me.

That's really interesting. In our govt dept, it specifically states in our policy that childcare must be in place for all hours of the working day (unless for emergencies eg. child sent home from nursery unwell). Always amazes me how the different depts can have such different rules when we are all the civil service.

OP, if you could have an office on a different floor of your house, or in a garden room, I reckon you'd be absolutely fine with a nanny in the house. In the same open plan or downstairs area, id worry it might be too distracting.

Because the man with a sah wife knows that there is a capable parent there for his child/ren so he can switch off from home life and focus solely on work.
If you’re the only parent at home and you hear your child in distress then you’ll naturally be distracted from work.

Mine does. Apart from my lunch break.
If the nanny is there looking after the child, I would not be intervening to “give my child a cuddle”.

You are describing how wfh allows people to misuse and abuse the situation. Looking after babies and young children is constant and requires total commitment ( even for 'good' children). Babies a Team meetings?????
Says it all

Wow, no wonder I can never get hold of anyone then. It’s impossible to work effectively at the same time as caring for small children. It’s doing both the employer and the children a disservice.
It’s one thing when it’s private company money but for taxpayer money to be spent on employees working sub-optimally (at best) is just wrong.

I managed to do that. I did however have to make myself disappear. It was stressful for dd to see me, but not be able to interact with me. I set up my workspace so I was isolated and brought snacks and drinks in with me. I had access to necessary facilities without her seeing me.

I only made an appearance if I was staying for a breastfeeding session or something like that. No pop ins. As far as she was concerned, I was gone.

As long as you have childcare, clients/colleagues can’t hear your child if you are on a call and the baby isn’t disturbing your work then it’s fine

Indeed and even if children aren't distressed, they need constant care and supervision

@Ponderingwindow I was the same - had to entirely disappear, and as my home office was in the loft I would often find myself trapped up there!!

In the end our lovely nanny (nicely) asked me to go away - I would work at a coffee shop or the library in the mornings, or eventually I found another WFH neighbour and we would share a small workspace. I'd come home for lunch, and then our nanny would take DC out in the afternoons. And finally I went back to the office.

Not really. If I was hiring a nanny I would make sure I trusted them enough to be capable of looking after my child without my input. If I didn’t trust them to do that, I wouldn’t hire them. I’d hire someone else. This is someone I’d be trusting to take my child out, to be alone with them in the house, I’d definitely want to be able to trust them enough that I didn’t need to step in!

I have, on occasion, (generally when DDs have been ill and unable to go to nursery) had DH or sometimes MIL/FILlooking after one of my children in the house while I worked. Even when it was one of my PIL rather than my DD’s other parent, I was capable of remaining professional and working. Women aren’t less professional than men, incapable of working once a baby cries and their wombs force them to stop.

I think it depends on the individual & the set up to be honest.

If you have an “office” in your house where you can just go, close the door & work essentially as if you were in the office, leaving just for toilet/comfort/lunch breaks, not to be disturbed, are completely content to leave childcare entirely to nanny from log on until log off and are okay to ignore any noise you might hear from baby (because babies just do cry sometimes) then I’d say that’s fine- provided you have a workspace that means your colleagues/clients aren’t going to be able to hear a crying baby.

I couldn’t do it personally because I know that even with the best of intentions if my baby was at home and upset/fussing I would want to go to them, I’d be distracted being able to hear them and just knowing they were there.

I work as a Nanny for two parents who both work from home most days. It’s a small 2 up 2 down house. They work upstairs, I’m based downstairs with the child (6 months when I started, now 2). It’s absolutely fine - the child knows when Mum and Dad are working and that we don’t disturb them. When they are between calls they pop down to say hello or come join us for lunch. I generally take her out 10-12 and 2-4 so they know the house will be quiet those times, plus she naps. If she ever gets hurt or distressed I ping them a message on our group WhatsApp chat and one of them pops down if they are free to comfort her - but it’s very rare, as after a couple of months a Nanny builds up a close bond with the child and is able to comfort them themselves.