To think £120 a week is not enough to live on?

[FedUp120028]

So, following an abrupt change in circumstances after food, bills and clubs for the kids I have £120 p/w to live on. I have a 2yo and a 7yo.

This needs to cover treats, Christmas and social life, holiday fun (either a trip or activities) for the next year.

Is this doable, aibu to think it's not? It doesn't seem like much at all. Tips and a reality check please!

I have four children. Two are teenage boys. They only get £100 each. Last year the teenagers had £120 because they needed a new phone, so they both had second hand phones. Christmas is £100 each.

Birthday presents for me and husband - 25 max on a token gift.

We have around £120 a week - that has to cover new football boots, clothes, pocket money, club subs, social life for 6 of us and while we obviously don't go out on fancy nights out or expensive holidays, we manage and the kids dont go without because they dont expect fancy days out, and understand the value of money.

£100 for a birthday is pretty extravagant unless maybe it's a milestone year. You can buy or make a cake inexpensively, a card is a couple of quid and presents can be as cheap or expensive as you choose. We used to do parties etc but have just stopped now, it's too much money.

Op have you considered getting toys from charity shops?.

Yes, but if you’re struggling for money (as OP pretends to be), you don’t book extravagant parties. You invite friends over, make sandwiches and cakes, and play dead lions like we did in the 80s. A 2 year old certainly doesn’t need an expensive party. They won’t even know what’s going on!

Cans you not claim pip, and universal credit?n
seems far too low

Agreed. OP, you seem to be very materialistic, and so heavily invested in spending huge sums on Christmas and birthdays that you can’t even conceive of spending less!

The fact you’re struggling even to comprehend how it’s even possible to spend less than £100 on a 2-year olds birthday is making you come across as really very stupid.

You can definitely plan a family holiday on over £6,000 free cash per year! Yes, you’re not going to get 2 weeks in a luxury resort in the Maldives but you can get a very decent holiday for half that amount and still have £3,000 left over!

That looks scarey. So I can see now why you're worried. No holidays or hairdressers or clothes. Maybe it's not great after all. Only £25 a week for yourself. Not much.

I think you need a contingency for unexpected emergencies to house or car. This is what chatgbt gave me, it is pretty tight on days out/clothes etc

Updated Annual Breakdown

1. Car & House Emergencies – £1,900 (30%)

1. Holidays – £1,400 (22.5%)

Enough for a modest family holiday.

1. Christmas & Presents – £1,100 (17.5%)

Covers Christmas gifts, birthdays for parents + 2 kids, other relatives.

1. Clothes – £700 (11%)

For the whole family.

1. Days Out / Fun – £550 (9%)

Outings, activities, or spontaneous treats.

1. Hair, Beauty & Adult Dental – £590 (9.5%)

Haircuts, coloring, beauty treatments, dental check-ups, fillings, routine adult dental care.

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📅 Weekly Breakdown (£120/week)

£36 → Car & House Emergencies

£27 → Holidays

£21 → Christmas & Presents

£13 → Clothes

£11 → Days Out / Fun

£12 → Hair, Beauty & Dental

I don't understand how people are spending so little on birthdays. £100 doesn't get much nowadays unfortunately.
It might be ok for very young children but as they get older it won't stretch very far. We spend £250 per dc for birthdays and Christmas and this doesn't look very much to be honest.
If it was £120 week disposable money after Christmas/birthdays and holidays then it would be doable but there's not much money available after this is taken off.

Do you spend on presents just for the sake of it? As in, you've decided you spend £300 on each and just mindlessly buy until you hit that limit? Do the kids actually appreciate what you buy?

The amount you spend on presents is crazy. We can easily afford to spend bigger amounts on presents but don't always choose too. It depends what the recipient actually wants, sometimes it's a big ticket item and sometimes not. What we don't do is buy for buyings sake, a total waste of money not to mention the environmental impact of buying even more stuff you don't want or need.

Yeah we got my ds a scooter for 130, a Lego set for 20, a headset for his games console for 25 and a new game for 60. So that was 235 on pressies alone. Then his party…BUT I will add that we do not buy toys for our dc throughout the year. Only Christmas and birthdays!

Good point My DD ( family of 4) took a holiday in school summer holiday just gone for just under 2k all inclusive to spain

Quite easy. When DS was a teenager he got say an Xbox game at £50, some toiletries and a new shirt. Perfectly ok for a birthday

My DS was 21 this year. His present cost £50 including postage. Yes it's only one thing but kids (and adults) don't need tons and tons of presents.

Quite. A party needs some friends (free, and optional for the younger one), food (pizza, crisps, samdwiches - exact cost depends on numbers but £30-40 should be ample), a venue (your house, or if it's summer the park for the older one - both free) entertainment (party games, music, a film - free), and cake (£15).

Well, if you can afford it, do what you want. But in my world the scooter would have been plenty, or the new game, or the headset and Lego combined.

And if we were worse off then just the Lego.

It isn't child abuse to give presents you can afford.

I budget £50-100 for DD, my mother gives about the same and consults with me so we sometimes jointly give a bigger 'thing' of up to £200. That's how DD went to see her favourite singer one year. Her most recent birthday i spent about £50 (meal.out with BFF) and my mum.gave her £50 (spent on some trousers she wanted). And she was on Church camp for her birthday and they got balloons and a chocolate cake, and everyone sang happy birthday and made a fuss of her.

She had a great time. It’s about the quality of the relationships not material belongings, once your basic needs are met.

We can afford it. But i suppose the lack of presents all year is where I differ from a lot of parents. I find a lot of my friends find no trouble in dropping 20 here and there for a Lego set or arts/crafts set etc throughout the year

There's loads of ideas on line for party activities and items.

One year (when Frozen was all the rage 😂) i did a themed party. Musical statues was 'Elsa saving Anna' and take home bags were some little pound shop trinkets frozen into ice cubes. I made and decorated (badly) a cake as Olaf. White icing with black eyes and orange nose.

All ideas from the Internet, and cheap and easy.

Great fun had by all!

Pmsl at the ChatGPT budget. It doesn’t even add up to £120.

It depends on a) what you can afford, and b) what you prioritise.

I spend more each month on her hobby (training costs and equipment) than I spend on her birthday or Christmas. And she knows and appreciates it far more than expensive presents/ holidays but no support for her interests week in and week out. It has also been far better for her, as it has instilled a work ethic and great social skills, as well as a sense of achievement she didn't get in school.

But if it was a choice between putting food on the table and paying for her hobby, it would be food on the table.

It has been a good 'investment' though, as DD has been earning her own pocket money since the age of 15, as her skill and attitude led to being asked to work as an assistant coach with the little ones. Which then led to babysitting requests. And she was very proud to tell.me she didn't need me to give her pocket money as she was earning far more (about £100 a month) 😁

It's more than most have. I have a total income of £2,000/m with two kids and am single and my kids have no idea we're poor. We have holidays, treats, trips, everything. I make it work.

Credit Union is a huge help. I've made a lot of smart decisions. I save hundreds a month too.

Just to add - it isn't 'a lot of parents' dropping £20 here and there. It may be a lot of parents you know, because you probably (like most of us) socialise with people who are from a similar socio-economic background to yourself.

But that isn't representative of most parents. £20 is a significant amount for a lot of parents. I am a little above minimum wage. I consider myself 'comfortable'. I can afford £150 or so each month for DD's hobby, and save a little. That's after housing and food and bills.

But nowhere near £120 per week on top.of all expenses and clubs etc, or 'dropping' £20 here and there for treats such as Lego sets. Those treats are birthday or Xmas presents.

And I don't think we are badly off, we are doing OK and have comfortable lifestyle.

Which is why I said parents I know…I suppose I’m also lucky the my dcs activities are very low cost. 120 per year max