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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cut all communication with neighbours

6 replies

Playdoughy · 30/09/2025 21:27

Moved to a new area recently and straight into an ongoing argument (that apparently lasts for years) between existing tenants in the building.
All sides (3) have been pulling us aside to join their forces so to speak, two flats are against one atm (us pending).
From what we gathered none of them is reasonable or in the right. One is absolutely terrorising the building with the noise and garbage. Unbelievably but one flat that seems to have a reasonable owner - is on their side - and against the remaining flat: a young lady that is simply asking for doors not to be slammed but on the other hand is spying on people's post (we've been told).
Sounds mild but an absolute nightmare - we've been bombarded by e-mails, accused of things we have not done (different things by all parties!!) , invited to drinks where the others were a topic of gossip. An unbelievable amount of free time amongst these people and energy spent on making each other's lives miserable.

At this point we are targeted by one side because we've been caught in conversation with the others (?!)
Genuinely no idea what to do. Contemplated with idea of report this as harassment - but not sure if anything good can come out of that.
Constantly stressed, looking around my shoulder when exiting/entering the common hallway. Not a single day so far without drama and it's been weeks!

OP posts:
Rhaidimiddim · 30/09/2025 21:31

If you have bought your property and the sellers didn't disclose this problem, you have legal recourse against them.
If you are renting, move!

winter8090 · 30/09/2025 21:39

Rhaidimiddim · 30/09/2025 21:31

If you have bought your property and the sellers didn't disclose this problem, you have legal recourse against them.
If you are renting, move!

I seriously doubt there’s any recourse because of feuding neighbours.

Don’t join a side. Don’t socialise. Smile, be polite and say hello and address any issues directly if they arise.

Otherwise keep well out of it.

Playdoughy · 30/09/2025 22:05

Rhaidimiddim · 30/09/2025 21:31

If you have bought your property and the sellers didn't disclose this problem, you have legal recourse against them.
If you are renting, move!

They mentioned that there were complaints against them around noise from the baby (they had a small child and moved to a house for space) - but no mention of how stressful the environment is. I am afraid that they covered themselves by mentioning some complaints and keeping it vague. Am I wrong assuming this? I wish I was

OP posts:
Endofyear · 30/09/2025 22:50

Just tell all sides that you're not getting involved in their arguments and be polite and distantly friendly to everyone. Ignore emails, refuse invites and resist the temptation to take sides. They are neighbours, you don't have to be friends with any of them. Think about moving if it doesn't improve!

TheatricalLife · 30/09/2025 22:54

Tell them all you don't want to get involved and do a quiet fade. Say hello, wave, talk about the weather, but be too busy for invites or long conversations. Breezy and politely neutral is the way to go. If you are renting, I'd be looking to move as soon as I could.

HouseOfGuineaPigs · 30/09/2025 23:12

TheatricalLife · 30/09/2025 22:54

Tell them all you don't want to get involved and do a quiet fade. Say hello, wave, talk about the weather, but be too busy for invites or long conversations. Breezy and politely neutral is the way to go. If you are renting, I'd be looking to move as soon as I could.

I think this would be my approach too. It sounds a nightmare, @Playdoughy, and I hope it gets sorted for you soon. How very stressful.

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