Annoyed with hubby

[Mumofteens01]

Please be honest and tell me if I'm being unreasonable.
Married 17yrs two teeenage children and i work 3 days a week but over last few months quite often four days and sometimes 5. I do everything in the house and hubby does nothing and teenagers see this. Husband has good career and he does work hard and he earns approx over 4 x my salary and he pays all the household bills.I have always paid for food shopping, kids clubs, clothes, both phone contracts, etc although when I had the children he gave me £250 a month which he still does. I never seem to have any money left over and food shop is so expensive. If he needs to go away for work he can do so at the drop of a hat as I am always around to look after children and he also has a couple of week long lads trips each year to which I don't complain. Things have come to a head this weekend as I'd asked him to work from home a few weeks ago just for one day as I needed to go away for work and he told me the day before that he can't and that I don't contribute anything to the house and called my job a hobby! I'm so upset with him and haven't spoken to him since the argument!

He sounds incredibly selfish in every aspect

Oh OP I’m so sorry. Someone who is supposed to be your partner showing you no respect is horrible.
I work part time and my oh earns at least 6 times what I do. But we share everything including paying the bills and he gives me money each month. It’s just mutual respect. He is much better at cleaning than me so he does loads more of that.
What exactly do you get out of this relationship? It just sounds like endless graft and no respect. When you’d be significantly better off getting divorced (which you would) you really have to wonder why you bother with the oaf.

He gives you child maintenance even though you all live in the same house!!! Cheeky fucker.

I'd be having a discussion about the division of finances. He's treating you like a housekeeper.

No wonder you're pissed off.

I earn 7 times what my DH does, but all money is pooled.

We also talk about needs from the other person as well.

He's an arse. You are contributing to the household and not having much left over to show for it. Just go away for work and leave him to it. They will cope.

Your children are teenagers now so don't need looking after as much as they used to as tiny children. He just has to ensure they are up for school and to get meals for all three of them (him and the teenagers).

I would agree with him and say as your job is just a hobby, it only pays for your other hobbies so he needs to pay for everything else from now on.

How old are your children OP? Can you return to work full time?

I think your DH is being very unfair and this isn’t a nice way to live.

he is selfish and rude and doesn’t value your contribution (whether financial) or via looking after the house and children, shopping and cooking for everyone, all the housework, taking kids to school etc. I’d tell him that if he doesn’t value your contribution to the household, you certainly don’t value his contribution to the family. He has no idea what it’s like to have a job AND do everything else that you need to do with a young family. My children are almost all grown up now, and some days I just go to work on the train, come home and cook for myself, its SO easy. That’s your DH, only he has someone putting a meal in front of him too. And he has the cheek to say you’re not contributing?

Thanks so much for all your replies it's made me feel better that it's just not me. I try to explain that he can just go off to work and has built his career because I've sacrificed mine to bring up our children but he doesn't get it. When I say he does nothing in the house I mean nothing and the odd time I've been away I have my mum down to help. Last night when he came home he tried to speak to me and just smirked when I told him how I wasn't happy about what he has said and that until he could apologise and understand how disrespectful he had been I didn't want to speak to him. I'm currently in spare room and no apology!

You can still go away for the day as your kids are teenagers so won’t need babysitting .

your husband sounds like a prick - but maybe annoyed you aren’t working full time too - seeing as your kids are grown ?

I always work 3 days a week around 9-4 so I can drop off and pick up at school as we live in rural village. At the moment I'm generally working 4 days and this week for example 5 days.