Being upset that husband used my pumice stone

[Anuta77]

The title says it all. Yesterday, I discovered that husband used my pumice stone. When I confronted him, he says that he doesn't the issue with him taking it without asking and us sharing this. Apprently, he's been using it for a week now.
He says he was seeing it for a while and suddenly decided that it would be good for his feet. Why he didn't decide to buy one for himself is beyond me.

Now, he's upset that I'm not happy about it and says that he can't feel good with a person who's disgusted by him. I didn't say I was disgusted by him, but I just don't think that this is the type of a thing that should we share.

AIBU?

Well, it shouldn't matter but if it does, get another one and hide it and let him carry on with the original one. And you get this

Yes, to remove dead skins.

YANBU it’s gross. It’s like sharing a flannel. It’s definitely a personal item.

The pumice stone or the toothbrush?

Tbh I wouldn’t be disgusted by it, but I don’t leave any “good” products out, my DH has no real want/understanding of the outcome of any of my products but has a weird FOMO, before I started keeping them out of sight I caught him using an expensive face serum as a body wash because he had seen it next to the bath so wanted to try it 😑😂

They might not share bodily fluids 😅

I don't. I don't like any bodily fluids it knocks me sick. I dont like giving or receiving oral & i don't even like kissing because of bodily fluids 🤮 unless it's a quick peck 😅

And I absolutely hate feet so I'd feel disgusting if I discovered someone had been using My pumice stone for their feet 🤮🤮

In practice humans don’t actually share many bodily fluids with each other - urine, liquid shit, blood, and vomit are generally off limits. Waste products, such as cheesy dead skin sloughed off untidy feet, isn’t the sort of thing partners actively share either. Is common sense not a thing anymore?

My husband and I share plenty of things, but not razors, toothbrushes, or things like pumice stones. These aren’t just implements that share contact, they can more easily spread infection because they can make tiny cuts in the skin.

he owes you a new pumice stone

He has no boundaries. Of course you're allowed to want your own pumice and it doesn't mean he disgusts you.

He needs to learn that some things are just yours and not get offended by it. And to respect your things.

Gosh the list of things that make people angry and/or disgusted on MN that wouldn’t even register with me never ceases to amaze me. Sharing a pumice stone is one of them.

Obviously it bothers you though OP which is fine, but it’s not unreasonable that he didn’t think it would be an issue.

My son and I share one and we have never thought about it. Neither of us have anything catchable on our feet (or anywhere else!). Yet again MN highlights an issue that I was totally unaware of or that it was a problem!

As a family we share nail clippers - is that bad too?

If you don't like the idea OP then buy another one, but I don't think he' was unreasonable initially using yours, He is though for making a fuss about you not wanting to share.

I put a stop to that early doors

Oh I never thought they weren't for sharing, given they are just used on clean feet.

Sharing a pumice stone with my husband wouldn't bother me at all, unless one of us had some sort of contagious or disgusting skin condition on our feet. I mean, they're just feet... I'm not surprised he didn't think it would be a problem. He should just accept that you want to have separate stones, though I'd agree it's not pleasant to feel that you're somehow disgusting to your spouse.

If you wash your feet I don’t get why this is anything!! They’re feet!!!

Hasn't occurred to me that pumice stones should be a one per person thing.

You wash the grot off them and put them on the side - if you left the grot on them, they'd rapidly become unusable anyway.

Towels, flannels - I don't mind people using mine/using someone elses (within my own household) but washed in the machine between people. I don't want to pick up my towel and try to dry myself on it after DP has dried his fun and prizes earlier in the day!

Toothbrush - rather stick to my own but I wouldn't die if DP used it in an emergency (for his teeth, not anything else).

thankfully hes so much better now but oml when he first moved in. He dyed my whites salmon and used a scour on plastics.

Sometimes you just need to take a breath peacefully explain look i know you think its fine but for me its super gross or in case of laundry .Try not to be patronising and help them learn .I have found by talking ,explaining we end up on the same page

Throw it in the bin, buy yourself a new one, hide it. Of course it's grim. Anybody pretending otherwise is also grim.

Why would anyone pretend about this? Silly. It absolutely does not bother me. I'm quite finicky about some things, but sharing a rock that is rubbed on clean skin isn't one ot them - as long as feet are healthy.

Flummoxes me why posters accuse others of pretending or trying to "be cool" (as on other threads). What would be the point? People have different opinions. The World would be a boring place if that were not the case

You wrote on an English speaking website, in English. Yeah, people are going to assume it's your first language.