I’m I being silly

[EmmaL96]

Need a bit reassurance I’m 29 me and my partner live in England I’m originally from Glasgow it’s my mums 50th birthday this weekend and she’s having a night out with her friends in Glasgow and asked if I wanted come which of course I do but she said it’s just a woman’s night no men are going so I will most likely be getting train and just going my self I’ll will be going to my mums on Saturday on the train going out with them then staying over night at my mums and then getting the train back home on Sunday

but for some reason I have anxiety about telling my partner and I feel guilty like I’m leaving him out or worried that he will feel I’m leaving him out and going out and having fun without him my partners not a big drinker and he geos to the pub and has 2 drinks then wants to go home so I feel he he wouldnt enjoy it anyway but I feel guilty

I know this post sounds really silly and a petty thing bit of back story 6 years ago I was in a controlling relationship so still to this day I get triggers and I sometimes I feel I’m doing something wrong if I go a night out without a partner am I just being silly isit normal to feel this way

how could I word it to my partner without feeling like I’m leaving out and I’m just going a woman’s night to have fun

You are leaving him out.
And you are going to a women's night to have fun.
And that is a totally normal thing to do in a relationship. Your mum wants a girls night out for her birthday, so of course he's not going.

It is just anxiety from your previous controlling relationship. Any normal person will entirely understand - and it would be normal to go out lots without your partner - with your own friends, to hobbies, all sorts of things - you are still independent people.

You word it exactly as it is: "My mum's having a night out in Glasgow for her birthday. She wants it to be women only, so I'll be getting the train up at [date, time], staying over with her and coming back at [date, time]. Hope you have a great weekend, I'll look forward to seeing you when I'm back."

And if he has any issue at all with it, or kicks off in any way, then take heed, cos it would be a sign that you're in another controlling relationship.

I can guarantee your DP is not going to be upset that he didn’t get invited to a night out with your 50yo mum and her mates 😂 I imagine he’d be horrified if you suggested he came.

Ignoring all the fluff about the journey and overnight stay , ask yourself would you go on a night out with a friend?

If no, why not? Do you believe your partner would think you intended to cheat?

How would you react if your partner went on a men only night out?

Hate how women feel they have to ask permission to go on a Saturday night as if it being the weekend makes it more scandalous than a Monday night.

If you want to go tell not ask . Partner my Mum wants a night out with girlfriends for her 50th . See you back home on Sunday. Simple