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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling let down by police

5 replies

Feelingletdownso · 30/09/2025 00:19

I cannot go into detail as to what crime I had been a victim of, however a few months ago I reported it to the police.

The original officer I spoke to was understanding, and so was the one who contacted me second. The one who contacted me second said he was handing my case over to an officer who deals with crime in my local area.

As I said before I cannot go into too much detail understandably. But this police officer who deals with crime in my local area has accused me of telling police specific information when I know I didn't say it, told me I need to stop being so scared of the man who has done the crime, has told me he didn't tell me something when I remember he did, rolled his eyes numerous times when I was giving a statement, told me the person doing the crime won't escalate it anymore even though he has a history of escalating and because he's been spoken to by police he's not going to do anything ever again apparently. When I told the officer I've had to alter my life due to him he asked me why would you alter your life, I told him I would rather avoid said person, officer told me I need to face him but I would rather not. They've now closed the case last week and I asked what happens if this man does something to me again and I was met with "that question implies you're going to make up something about him just to report him" I've shown nothing but evidence that I have not only avoided the person doing the crime but I've also evidence of what he's done to me.

I know history of the person who's done the crime as I have known him for years, and police speaking to him hasn't stopped him doing it to others previously. I've also told the police he has a history of false allegations and the officer says he's not going to do that. But I know the history of this man.

I feel almost victim blamed. I guess this is more of a rant so I'm sorry.

OP posts:
Givenupshopping · 30/09/2025 00:28

OMG! This sounds awful OP, I'm really sorry to hear that a police officer has made you feel like this. I would suggest that you make an official complaint. My husband had cause to do this at one point, and while ultimately the officer only got a dressing down, it did make my DH feel better, that he hadn't just sat back and accepted the way he was treated.

Yellowcakestand · 30/09/2025 00:45

I would deffo make a complaint.

I called 999 once when I had a restraining order for my ex as he was outside my house. It had power of arrest attached to it. They asked his description and said someone was on their way.
They turned up 5 days later and told me I had to prove he was there. They wrote a summary which said "xx thinks she saw Xx outside the property. Aware that when feeling stressed can cause people to imagine things".
I was fuming,refused to sign the statement and complained. Luckily I had a support worker with me when they did show up who wasn't happy!

Ibidydibbidytoo · 30/09/2025 00:54

Feelingletdownso · 30/09/2025 00:19

I cannot go into detail as to what crime I had been a victim of, however a few months ago I reported it to the police.

The original officer I spoke to was understanding, and so was the one who contacted me second. The one who contacted me second said he was handing my case over to an officer who deals with crime in my local area.

As I said before I cannot go into too much detail understandably. But this police officer who deals with crime in my local area has accused me of telling police specific information when I know I didn't say it, told me I need to stop being so scared of the man who has done the crime, has told me he didn't tell me something when I remember he did, rolled his eyes numerous times when I was giving a statement, told me the person doing the crime won't escalate it anymore even though he has a history of escalating and because he's been spoken to by police he's not going to do anything ever again apparently. When I told the officer I've had to alter my life due to him he asked me why would you alter your life, I told him I would rather avoid said person, officer told me I need to face him but I would rather not. They've now closed the case last week and I asked what happens if this man does something to me again and I was met with "that question implies you're going to make up something about him just to report him" I've shown nothing but evidence that I have not only avoided the person doing the crime but I've also evidence of what he's done to me.

I know history of the person who's done the crime as I have known him for years, and police speaking to him hasn't stopped him doing it to others previously. I've also told the police he has a history of false allegations and the officer says he's not going to do that. But I know the history of this man.

I feel almost victim blamed. I guess this is more of a rant so I'm sorry.

His first name didn't begin with an R did it?

I was attacked a few years ago..... I rang the police whilst I was bring attacked! Unfortunetly, the women who attacked me were very clever and started making several false reports about me to the police after ( and I was reporting them for harassing me ) and the police started looking at it as tit for tat when it wasn't

I can't think of the proper name of it now but I they kept trying to close it and I had to keep reopening it? There's an official name for it sorry I can't think of it!

And in the end a sergent rang me and he was so hostile and rude I started recording him. He was blaming me for the attack ( because at one point the woman had said let go of my hair and I'll let go of you ) he brought up my autistic daughter ( she had gone to the park without my permission once.... and he LIED and told me my daughter had had a meeting with the police.... I'd asked why he was mentioning my daughter when it wasn't relevant to the attack and asked him for a date and time of the meeting she was supposed to have had.... he said he didn't have to give it me 🤦‍♀️

I reported him and sent them the whole recording and when they did get in contact it was a rubbish reply and a "he must of gotten confused and we will speak to him about being more specific 🤦‍♀️

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 30/09/2025 00:59

I thought the police had generally improved in the way they deal with VAWG and stalking, but it seems that they have not.

You need to complain about this individual officer. I'm really sorry that this has happened to you.

Canwejustnot · 03/10/2025 20:22

Make the complaint. Please.

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