To find life very hard atm

[Absolutleynot]

So im a mum of 2 boys 1 is 6 and the other 19. I work 35 hours a week as a nurse and my husband works 40 in a manual job. We both work 9-5. Im 43 years old, perimenopausal and have adhd (both conditions are medicated, thank god). I have elderley parents that can require taking to appointments etc. im finding life very hard at the moment, just totally burnt out like i dont have much time for myself and every day is just a bit of a grind. And also like ive lost touch with who I am and im just on autopilot, just like this 'thing' that gives, and gives and gives to others with a smile slapped on her face

Am I being unreasonable for feeling like this. Is it normal? Do most people feel this way?

Sorry to hear that OP. Have you taken much holiday recently? It sounds like you might need a break from work?

I'm really sorry OP. It does sound fairly normal. I'm the same age as you, also peri, own business, autistic 18 year old at college, other older kid at work who I have to drop off and pick up as she hasn't passed her test yet. Lots of DIY as doing a renovation in a 300 year old house, not enough hours in the day. It is relentless and monotonous at points, and bloody never ending. I know many who feel the same, particularly women of our age! Solidarity..

Sorry not much help. But I’m 41 I have 2 boys 3 and 6. I feel like like is a grind, my kids are beautiful and I love them but it’s hard work my little one wont let me sleep, I don’t have a job, I’ve lost my mum and left with a narc father who can’t be pleased. My husband works all hours. My youngest is also disabled so that means he needs me more than a regular 3 year old. Life is a grind but it will get easier. X

No it's not normal. However, I think it is becoming the norm for a lot of women. I often wish days were 30 hours long and I could sustain another 6 hours of day without sleep but also when everyone was. A bit like Bernard's Watch.

Thanks for your replies. I do have a bit of holiday coming up soon, to cover the october half term of course!. I think at this point though i need to make lifestyle changes because no matter how many holidays I take I'm still going back to the same situation.
I used to work 3 x 12 hour shifts per week and although I did have to work nights sometimes at least I got some time to myself xx

Could your parents take taxis to appointments to free up some time for you? Or any siblings you can share the load with? And does your dh and eldest do their fair share of chores, and dh an equal parent? Could you need your hormone therapy tweaked if youre not getting sufficient relief from it?
I completely empathise

Ive spoken to my parents about getting taxis and got shouted at by my dad who said he didn't have the money for that. I suggested that my brother who isn't really working and doesnt have children could do it but I got told that he was too unreliable. My older son lives with his girlfriend as its closer for work but when she goes to work away he will be back home. He didn't really help with housework and his room was always a mess which caused tension between him and DH. DH does his fair share but is prone to asking what I call 'stupid fucking questions' about things that I have already told him. Ive discussed my situation with my boss this morning and we've agreed to a temporary reduction of hours.
I think my hrt is working but has made me more touch with my emotions and the fact that I cant continue like this.

So everyone expects a lot from you and you just want 5 minutes to yourself. I think dropping hours is a good call, but try not to fill that time with stuff, unless it is stuff that will help you to restore your energy and recuperate. <unMN hug>

I'm a similar age and also have the teens and elderly parents and think you maybe need to say no to the parents a bit more. They can get hospital transport or the bus to appointments. Mine does and is 82. It's hard but it will get easier

I know it will get easier as my boss said this is just a season in my life. It does feel like eternal winter though 🤣. I think what's broke me is that my dad was absolutely vile to me because I had to say no to taking him to an appointment next week. My other brother and his partner used to do a lot for my parents and they became very reliant on them but they have split up and are no longer at their beck and call x

Yes, this is something that im well aware could be a problem for me. I will have to work very hard on doing things for myself and not feeling guilty about it, even if x,y,z does need doing around the house