Hi MN,
I’ve changed some of the details here as otherwise very outing!
I work for a smallish organisation - our team are all very hardworking & get on well.
Senior management rarely visit the site but are in regular contact with our manager.
I’ve been in post less than 6 months and like the job a lot but struggle enormously with one of the senior managers. He is the only man in his team of 4 SM & speaks to his other colleagues (all women) in a tone that’s very different to how he speaks to my manager (another man) - most of our team are women too.
He is loud, talks over you, has crap ideas that everyone pretends to love & then laughs at when he’s gone, he also demands that team members (never the men) pop to the bakery to get him a sandwich (when it’s raining) destroys other people’s brilliant ideas (have seen him have an actual tantrum about how awful someone’s idea is) then it turns out to be a great idea/project/event & he takes the credit… unreal.
He asked me to go to the bakery for him once. I said no.
He asked me to share something on our social media once that was not appropriate. I said no.
He now completely blanks me.
At first I didn’t care but now he emails/calls everyone else in the office about things (including the stuff I deal with) and asks them questions that should be for me, almost like he’s trying to play some kind of game.
I’ve heard colleagues call him a misogynist, bully and even a narcissist - haven’t joined in with that but I think he’s quite an unpleasant man, have heard stories about him being quite nasty when he isn’t in control of changes/people say no etc.
The men in the office say ‘oh that’s just the way he is’
i feel quite uncomfortable around him.
Must admit, the ‘ignoring’ is a bit weird.
Am I unreasonable to not do as he asks & stand up to him?
He’s a senior manager but he’s also a Bellend.