to wish my parents had said it would be awkward to visit them at a particular time.

[lavenderbongo]

I am so angry with them I could explode!

My parents live in rural France and have a large property which they split into two during the summer. They rent the larger part out as a holiday cottage and then live in a two bedroom flat section.

We have been sorting out when to visit them -which can only be in August due to dh work.

They have said previously that it doesnt matter if we come when the holiday cottage is booked as they will squeeze us into the flat with them. Now this morning dad rings and says that we cant come when they have guests as it will be too much of a squash in two bedrooms.

I have already booked the train tickets and flights onward from there to visit FIL. Ahhhh.. What am I supposed to do now?

My Mum was obviously really upset as she wants us to come. Dad wanted us to leave it to the last minute to buy train tickets and come down only if the holiday cottage isnt booked. Train tickets are more expensive if booked at the last minute and I have already brought them anyway. He then says "oh well drive down" - its 8 hours drive away and I would have to do it all as DH doesnt drive! AIBU?

Thanks for reading all this - just needed to get it off my chest.

YANBU if they said it would be ok. How about camping in the garden?

I thnk its unfair once you have the tickets seeinga s they previously said it would be OK. Different if yu'd just booked without asking, but you didn't, so no yanbu.

I wouldnt mind camping flowerybeanbag - but I dont think my Dad would like it as he was going on about only having one loo between the 6 of us.

blimey. Your dad isn't sounding very reasonable lavender. I think my parents would put up with one loo between a lot more than 6 people if it meant they got to see us. They live in France as well.

I think in your position I would be speaking to your mum, saying you have booked the tickets already, so there's nothing you can do about it, so that's when you are coming. Say you understand it's a bit of a squeeze with the bedrooms, but you are happy to camp in the garden if that will help, and you are sure it will be fine to muddle along with the loo for a few days (or however long it is).

Might there be any other reason he doesn't want you to come then? Sometimes older people can be a bit set in their ways, and not cope too well with more disruption than necessary? Perhaps ask your mum if there's anything you can do to help when you are there, either by making yourselves scarce occasionally, or whatever?

I think youve got a good point flowery about being stuck in his ways - although I dont like to think of him as old. Is 56 old?

My girls can be a bit hard work as they are 3 and 14months but not really naughty.

I think I will talk to my Mum tomorrow and see whats really going on.

Have a chat with her and see if you can get to the bottom of it. 56 isn't old, but some people are older than others iyswim. If you don't see your parents that often, as I don't, keeping up with how old they are is a bit trickier.