The use of word naughty?

[Justsomeonewhoisconfusedwithlife]

Am I being unreasonable to think the word 'naughty' isn't a 'bad' word to use with children. For example that's naughty, please don't do that.

Absolutely hate the word naughty. My MIL used it a lot when my kids were younger and used to grate me no end. She told my 4 year old he was naughty when he wet his pants ffs

I never use it with kids, but regularly use it to adults!

That's too far, to say naughty when children have an accident isn't acceptable I must say. I wouldn't use it in situations like that.

It depends on the context. Using PP’s example, a child who has wet themself shouldn’t be described as naughty. Not being able to sleep or being unable/unwilling to finish a meal isn’t naughty. But smacking someone or running off or stealing is naughty and should be described as such.

I always tried to use “that was naughty” rather than “you are naughty”. I spent my childhood being told I was naughty for absolutely nothing.

Can you explain why? I'm asking out of curiosity; I see a clear logic for using it for children. The OED says "disobedient or badly behaved, especially of children, but can also refer to something provocative or indecent." Are you using it in a sexual context for adults, and that's why you don't use it for children? There's also some evidence that it was originally used as a synonym for needy/financially poor or lacking.

Perfectly fine to describe behaviour as naughty (as long as it is naughty, rather than accidental).

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

It is heartily disapproved of in gentle parenting circles. For my part, I think that there are often better adjectives but sometimes ‘naughty’ does fit the bill.

For me it is a bit too broad of a term. What does naughty mean? I work with children and I would address behaviour more specifically, like 'that was unkind/hurtful/unsafe/too loud' etc. Also agree that behaviour can be described as 'naughty' but not children themselves.

There’s a difference between that was naughty, and you are naughty. But the word itself isn’t an issue, imo.

But I found it much more effective to make it clear what I expected my dc to do, rather than draw more attention to what they shouldn’t do. Most of the time they’re either looking for attention (so tell them what to do to get it) or they’re over-tired, over-stimulated or hangry and those require a change of adult behaviour not a description.

I just think it's better to actually say what it is. Unkind /unsafe/ too loud/ messy / bad manners or rude etc. As a teacher I just think naughty is an unhelpful word and is too often translated into YOU are naughty. Some behaviour is bad but we dont want kids to think THEY are bad.

Not a word I ever used, not sure exactly why but I dont like it as it's doesn't really mean anything. I can't think of any situation where there wouldn't be an alternative more descriptive thing to say

I don’t have an ideological objection to it or anything think but I do think it isn’t always the best thing to say because it’s so general and DC understand better when they’re told specifically what they actually did wrong and most importantly what they should do instead.

No, not sexually at all.
More if someone is taking the piss or being a CF, but for whatever reason I can’t say that to them (supplier, customer, colleague for example), I will say something like ‘it was a bit naughty of you to do that/say that - please don’t do it again’.

I've seen posters tell off other posters on here saying, "you're not supposed to call a child naughty, just the behaviour", but it's just a theory like any other parenting technique. It will work better with some children than others.

My son LOVES a rule, so being told not to do naughty things works for him, and he understands that being naughty is when you do naughty things.

I only know one set of friends who "gentle parent", and I avoid their little shit because he's always being gently told that trying to brain my son with a stick isn't kind because it might hurt him.

Thank you everyone for your replies, it's much appreciated and good to see examples and different views.

Using naughty is no different to using good. I assume the “don’t call a child naughty, just the behaviour” does the same with “good”. No? No.

Children are neither inherently good or naughty. I’ve called DD good a million times more than I’ve called her naughty but if she was being naughty that’s what she was told. I doubt she cared much about the semantics of it.

I don't like it and try to avoid using it especially with children. Mainly because it's overused and can be confusing as it's not really one action and can mean a multitude of things especially for young children (under 5).

We still tell our children off but instead use the action they have done directly so no we don't throw things or no we don't snatch we share etc.

I also think over use in children labels them and cause issues. A friend has overused it with her son from the age of 2ish. From the age of 4/5 he would simply say I'm a naughty boy that's me so no point. They have had to do a lot of work to try and reverse it.

I don't think it is objectionable for children but I absolutely hate it for adults - it is either belittling or sexual, and even in a sexual context it sounds belittling. I do get that not everyone sees it this way, but for adults it makes my skin crawl. For me it is a word only to be used for children, and only in the case of deliberate mischief/bad behaviour.

I tell DS “that is naughty behaviour” fairly regularly! Far better than “bad” or “unacceptable” I would have thought. Obviously only when it actually is naughty! Not accidents etc.

We also have quite a lot of theoretical discussions about things “mummy what if I did xyz?” “That would be naughty behaviour because abc” “oh.”

I don’t tell him he is a naughty boy because I do think he would be quite hurt by that, but he is particularly sensitive to criticism. I tell him he is good, kind, generous, hardworking etc - the behaviours I want to see more of. And mostly he is pretty well behaved.

I don’t like it in any context. The very worst is people describing food as naughty 🤯 It’s food. It cannot be naughty. I’ve never used it with my DC or wanted to.