Or are they splitting the payment fairly?

[cherryexplos]

Colleague and I live in the same city and have a 1.5 hour (ish) commute to work. I usually get the train (I can drive and have a car but I prefer the train) and colleague will offer to drive me sometimes.

She’s asking me to pay her £19. Parking is £8 and I’ve calculated that the petrol would cost her anywhere from £13-£21. So even at the highest it’s £29 (that includes her drive to mine) … I’m more than happy to pay 50% but is that cheeky?

I just think it’s slightly unfair of me to pay 65% minimum of the journey or if it’s at the lower end it only costs her just £3. Her car is 2020 so it’s likely efficient.

We need distance really.

So she's asking you for money for a journey she's doing anyway? Is this not CF*kery? Sorry I've never car shared with anyone so I wouldn't know what's the norm

If it is 1.5 hours each way you might be looking at a 160 mile round trip. On that basis £19 (12p per mile) seems reasonable.

oP has a car and can drive, another way maybe is to take turns? Each drives one day a week or one week at a time? And no money exchanges hands…
I think if a colleague was giving me lifts everyday for my entire stint at the firm I would feel better giving them money for it

Imo resentment will set in.. Tell her you enjoy listening to stuff on your phone on the journey.
Thanks but no thanks.

So you're paying roughly half of the parking & fuel cost
Nothing towards insurance, wear and tear, tax, servicing, etc
Plus you get to sit there and chill whilst she has to drive 3 hours?

I wouldn't be bloody moaning about that deal! Take the train if you're that narked about it!

It's perfectly reasonable for both people to pay their fair share, and it shouldn't be incumbent on the person who already drives the car and pays for its maintenance, tax, insurance and running costs to pay even more for the fuel for something that they both benefit from singlehandedly...

But that very much depends on whether both people want to travel together in the car. If OP prefers to take the train anyway, it very much skews any benefit in cost savings towards the driver and against the nonchalant passenger.

Tell her thanks but you'll make your own way.

When I car shared with a colleague years ago, I calculated it based on 45p per mile like what I’d claim for expenses, based on the round trip, and asked my colleague to pay half of that.

She may be factoring in other areas such as tax, insurance, and general car upkeep costs, but I don’t think that’s fair to ask.

Consider how much you’re saving based on what the train would cost, and then ask her how she came to the figure as when you calculated it, it came out lower, and then decide if it’s worth it to take her up on her offer.

Why are you going with her anyway? It sounds like you would prefer to keep taking the train anyway so do that. I wouldn't dream of asking for money from someone if I offered them a lift and I was making the journey anyway but voluntarily giving up my time on my own to read, listen to podcasts or just generally enjoy the peace? No thank you. I wouldn't want to feel like I was meant to be offering lifts occasionally as well either.

She's not really offering to drive you, she's coming up with a plan that (?) saves you both money, which isn't unreasonable.
She's either decided 50% and added some for wear and tear, or maybe she's taken the 45p/mile standard, but I think it would be a lot more.

£21 fuel at 40 mpg is about 280 miles, but I'm guessing you're sitting in a lot of traffic and going to a city (where you have to pay to park).

Dunno....ask her how she's arrived at those rather specific numbers.

Op you have two options decline, no I'd rather stick with the train, I enjoy the chill time or you suggest you take turns at driving, whoever is furthest way drives to the house closest to work and car share from there.

So drive one day each?

Or you drive her both days and then your commute costs would be REALLY low!!

It's not just petrol though, every mile you drive is wear and tear on the car and depreciation due to the extra mileage, so potentially 45p a mile.

How many miles is it?

Why would she be paying even more for the fuel?

I'm not trying to be awkward, just can't imagine offering a work colleage a lift to work and asking for money, let alone £19. I'm incurring the costs regardless of whether work colleague is there or not. Maybe a slight increase in fuel used accounting for another person but this is negligible. Or if you were picking up/dropping off out of your way

I wouldn’t be bothered to sort co-ordinating start off times, leaving time and days working, not to mention one of you will feel shortchanged if you go for either the £19 or another amount.

If you prefer the train, I’d stick with continuing to travel in that way. Just tell her the offer doesn’t work for you.

So £19 for a return trip which is three hours total travel time. That actually sounds like a decent deal to me, and excluding (half of) car parking , that’s only £15.

The point of going out you way to pick someone else up is to share the cost inc parking and fuel
Op would always need to pay some sort of travel cost either train fare or her own fuel and parking

The question is whats the benefit to Op is it quicker or cheaper than the train?

If you're not happy to pay her what she thinks is fair, then tell her that it's too much and you'd rather take the train. She isn't under any obligation to offer you a lift and you aren't under any obligation to accept.

I suppose you could offer a lower figure that you feel is reasonable, and she could then decide whether or not she is willing to accept that.

I didn't word that very well at all: I meant why should she pay even more of the joint costs herself for a journey for two people, when the other isn't paying a penny for their equal benefit?

I suppose that, if it were a one-off, it may seem churlish to ask for a contribution to the fuel; but it sounds like this is a fairly regular joint journey.

I would approach it that, if you're both benefiting from the deal, why shouldn't the one getting a lift make a fair contribution?

After all, nobody argues that they shouldn't have to pay a fare for the bus on the grounds that 'it's going there anyway'!

What does the train cost?

Is there a congestion charge or a permit or anything like that to take into account?

Really you need to compare the £19 to the cost of a train ticket, and whatever other factors are important to you, like do you prefer the company or the solitude? I'd probably prefer the solitude, so I'd be a no thanks if it wasn't saving me quite a bit of money. If it WAS saving me quite a bit of money, I'd probably do it.

Just take the train and read a book, close your eyes, listen to music you like.

I would drive myself to work instead of letting a cheeky fucker colleague profit off me. Don’t let her have the satisfaction.

Can you work out how many miles it is? Standard expenses flat rate is 45p a mile, so I generally use that and I usually adjust down a bit as my car is more economical than that. If it's more than that plus parking and any other expenses you may have forgotten like tolls/permits/congestion charges, then yes I do think she is taking the piss.