To have just given up today…

[DeepFilled]

I kept my DC off school and called in sick to work. DC did have a slight temp, but has been bouncing around most of the day.
I’m feeling very low because DC has extra help at school and for the past three years (in particular last two weeks) I’ve had a constant battle over this extra help. I’m completely emotionally drained and I’m afraid if I don’t sort things out now, DC will be without a school place next year. The school don’t respond to my emails, avoid me, the council are just very terse and fed up with me. DC is well behaved, compliant but almost mute at school. I felt so down today, and am afraid to look at my emails again because I had to state DC’s legal rights. I know I will get a horrible response. My place of work is also difficult because I work with a family relation of DC’s teacher, they know I’ve had issues and am viewed as a troublesome parent. I’m trying to
view worst case scenario as home schooling next year but I feel I’ve completely let my child down. I’ll have to quit my job if that happens (having already resigned from a job I loved 2 years ago
because DC needed extra help).

I get why you needed a day off but I’m not sure why you kept DC off. Surely you would have had a better rest without them. SEN parenting is exhusting.

Have you contacted SENDIASS? SEN parenting board is probably a better place to seek advice. How much extra help is he getting and what is wrong with it?

@labourthenewrightwingparty

DC is not even remotely exhausting annd always happy. I’ve contacted everyone I possibly can and have so many different opinions that I can’t work
out what is for the best. If I meddle too much, I might mess things up. If I do nothing I will have lost my chance to stop what I can see is wrong.

@labourthenewrightwingparty

it’s to do with underesourcing and an overstretched council who need to bend the law, but don’t like it when I try and uphold the law. And then local schools who are so under resourced and stretched that they can’t support inclusion. So off rolling is rife.

It's not good to keep a child off school because they have a slight temp especially when you need a break and presume the child struggles at school, you said the child gets help is it not enough?

@Oioisavaloy27 Its the first time I’ve done it but it was because I’ve had a horrible weekend as the result of an email I got from the council on Friday. Attendance is always good.

@Oioisavaloy27 DC gets extra money from the council, but the school don’t spend it on DC as they should (because DC is quiet and there are louder disruptive children)
DC is supposed to start a new school but I know many schools are trying to avoid enrolling children who need help as they immediately see a red flag that they can’t resource.

So basically you kept your child off because you got a shitty email? What support is it that your child is getting and what support do you think they are not getting?

Ah so your child has an echp?

Oh i'm sorry op

I get those days where I just want to be home with dd and hide from the world

As a kid, my mum would get those days too. Fwiw I loved them as a kid as I saw it as fun and i'm sure dc felt the same ❤️

You're doing right by your dc, op. I am having a similar battle trying to move my dd to another school. Just being ignored and treated like a hostile parent when all I am doing is advocating for my dd.

Do you have any support? Family or a friend? I dont so no judgement if not, but it can help to share with someone.

Also, have you spoken to sendiass and the like?

You're doing amazing sweetie, just one day at a time and appreciation for small miracles 💐❤️

If you’ve never had to fight the system to support your child, you’ll not understand the impact a shitty Friday afternoon email can have. Sometimes you just want a day not fighting anyone - it’s ok that the OP needed space.

@DeepFilledI’d be concerned that your DCs teacher has been discussing you in sufficient detail that her family member is able to identify you and label you as difficult. I’d be getting that dealt with as a breach of confidence.

@mumofoneAloneandwell

@Jellycatspyjamas

Thank you so much. Hostile is the word. I can’t speak to the school without hostility (from them, I’ve never been hostile) so I do shortest route across playground, swerving past SLT who I get bad vibes from daily. They’ve used terrible wording to describe DC but if I complain I’ll just make things worse e.g the term handicapped.

Work are hostile too. Subtlety. I know I’ve been discussed. It’s more speaking to my colleagues but ignoring me, or leaving me out. When I mentioned that an item had been removed from DC’s friends lunchbox last week and I was snapped at (although I was serving the same item to children at the school).

I’ll go back out again fighting today though. It just gets hard sometimes. Thank you for listening x

I mentioned that an item had been removed from DC’s friends lunchbox last week and I was snapped at (although I was serving the same item to children at the school).
Are you working in the kitchen at DC school?
What is the support he's not getting?

@NellieElephantine yes, but at a different school where I work with a family member of DC’s teacher.

It’s about getting a school place, which I’ve been through before and DC was refused one placement and I had to fight to get the one DC is at. The one DC is at say things like ‘I should be grateful they ever agreed to place DC (I know that’s wrong - the council decide). I’m having to go through the whole school placement thing again. The council take so long with appeals etc I might be home schooling and have to stop work.

Why are you having to move your child to another school?