To stay here or move back "home"

[hereorthereoreverywhere]

To keep this as brief as possible, I am from Europe, came to UK for university 12 years ago. Made a family here and have a lovely life with lots of friends, firmly integrated in community, great part of the country etc. etc. my DC loves their school and has friends.

It's just that DC is 6 now and I am thinking if we don't move back soon it'll be too late, they'll be too settled here etc. I've got a job that fits perfectly round school and DH has a great job too.

Downsides, I miss my home country and my family there. It's a wonderful place with great scenery, jobs are more sparse though, but it could be doable. But this is literally it- we have everything else going for us here.

What age is too old to move with little children?? Would you even leave "just" to be nearer family? We go there every 3 months to see them anyways and usually most of the summer holidays.

Does your DH and DC want to go?

Where is DH’s family?

My DH would be happy to if we can make it work with work. My DC- to be honest, I think he wants to stay here. But he is still only 6 years old and I am sure he'd be happy there especially with his DGP close by!

They are here in the NW nearby. We get on very well with them and visit them regularly. Though we are closer to my parents- that might be though because we don't see them as often and absence makes the heart grow fonder. And of course they are my parents so my judgement is clouded here!

Only you and your husband can decide what is right for your family.
It seems like both options are good!

There are many posts about similar quandaries in the Living overseas forum, perhaps have a read there, and see how other people are reasoning.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/living_overseas

From my friends in the same situation the child grows up to feel (and sound!) culturally British, no matter how hard the other parent tries with speaking the second language, taking them to the second country during summer break etc.

Its for you and your DH to decide if that is an issue.

It doesn’t have to be a forever decision though does it? Sometimes it helps to reframe it…imagine you are making the decision for the next two years or five years and then you can come back, stay there or go somewhere else.

Or alternatively stay here for the next two years and then go.

Sounds like it would be a great opportunity for your child to get a proper immersion into your culture though.

We did it with 2 under 3 at the time and it's worked out fine. We added more children once we moved. But we both got better jobs paying more, a house with some land that we didn't have before and we are 40 minutes from direct air connections back to the other Country.
It looks like you already spend 10 weeks or so in your home Country a year. Would it be the same the other way if you moved or would that side gradually become less and less. I would think very carefully about this as the lack of well paid flexible work will limit you and if your husband can not get work of a similar nature to existing it will have an effect beyond just income. Everyday life won't be the same as long summer holidays and seeing relatives all the time is different.
I don't think I would in your circumstances. If there are different languages then that adds another challenge.

I don't have any advice OP but I could have basically written your post, except two children, and country is much further away than Europe. I also struggle with what is the right decision!