Balls from neighbours in my garden

[tempname1234]

We have newish neighbours that have a few children. They’ve given the children a basketball stand and football goalie net - set up right at the shared fence line.

we now have the joyful sound of the football or basketball hitting the fence from as early as 7:30 (welcoming the shorter days!) in the morning through the day in the weekends, from after school week days.

we work from home. We also have a lovely garden with many lovely plants for all year round colour having planned and cultivated the garden for many, many years.

we have the best constant noise of the balls hitting the fence, the back of the basket ball hoop, balls in the garden breaking our plants, hitting our garden furniture etc.

for all of the summer, we have asked nicely both in person and by text to please ask their children to stop this. Clearly they don’t.

AIBU? would I be unreasonable to not return the multitude of balls that end up in my garden? Looking for solutions to at least stop the destruction of my garden plants (less noise would be ideal too). The noise gives me migraines!

any other suggestions??

It’s really antisocial of them to have the goal and basketball against the side fence,they should have it at the back. Have you discussed moving them with them?

Ive found that the best solution for this is to inconvenience the parents. Do not refuse to give the balls back. Do not insist that the children dont play their ball games. This will make you out to be the ogre in this.

Instead speak to the parents with understanding (unless you are able to back up being aggressive) and request that 1) No one goes into your garden to recover the balls. 2) Only the parents come around to ask for their balls back.

Trust me, the parents will be thoroughly pissed off after a while having to come around and ask for the balls back and will make changes.

We had it a few years ago but it wasnt quite so polite when my partner who lives in the gym and boxes told the neighbour to come and have a private chat face to face if he ever wanted a ball back. The neighbour waited until he was out and spoke to my DD and got his childs ball back. It has NEVER come in our garden again since.

If the parents do not do anything to try and mitigate the problem buy a ball valve from the internet for a few quid.

Start deflating the balls a little tiny bit each time they land in your garden. Gradually increase the amount of air you take out until the parents get fed up of pumping them back again. Obviously do this indoors out of sight.

Deny all knowledge.

You cannot reason with inconsiderate people but you can inconvenience them enough to change their behaviour.

This is genius. Haha.

Honestly this is the kind of thinking that will succeed. Inconvenience the parents and problems get sorted.

You can do one of several things. I’d probably insist that the parents come round to collect the balls and each time you show them the damage it has caused.

Do you own the fence? You can send them a formal letter advising you will take legal action over the damage to your fence, damage to your pots and property and general nuisance they are causing.

I found the solution to this.

I have a ball obsessed Labrador who spends a lot of his time in the garden (by choice). Many balls have come over and if I do not see them before him, he claims them. I have told the parents that they should do their best to prevent an expensive ball coming over, as if he gets it first, chances are he will pop it.

The net was moved to the other side and we get the odd tennis ball every now then now is all. If I find him with one, I let him play with it for a while, and when he is not there I throw it back over. Sometimes complete with teeth marks.

If I were not too far away I could lend him to you for a day. 😀 So, do you know anyone with an energetic dog to use the same excuse?

Deflate children’s footballs… really?

Aren’t some people are nasty and self-centred. God forbid the children play.

It can get too much. Like for me for eg, I work from home. During the school holidays the ball would come over repeatedly and then it would get thrown back when on a break if the dog didn't get it first. But for me it was the incessant calling of my name to get me to throw the ball back each time. They kicked it over and want it back immediately. Numerous times a day.

This is not being nasty or self-centered to be on call to an 8 and 6 year old.

I wouldn’t be on call, no. They’d have to wait to get them back. But I wouldn’t intentionally ruin their playthings either. Because it’s a cruel and nasty thing to do.

letting air out does not ruin them.
It does require the parent to pump it back up again, so it inconveniences the parents.

I would just put them all in the garage/shed or whatever and say I am busy working, I will return balls on Sunday afternoon only. Knock then, and only then.

As I said, the problem resolved itself for me but unfortunately for them, a few balls did get damaged.

But no, I would not have purposely burst a child's ball. Neither did the pp who made the suggestion.

I wouldn’t bother deflating them, I’d pop them. They can move the net to anywhere else in their garden apart from up against my fence

Hi there OPs neighbour

👋

Let your children annoy the neighbours so much without making every effort to reduce it........ It works both ways. I would never encourage damage but inconvenience to the parents ABSOLUTELY yes. Its a little air that the parent is going to have to put back in each time. No balls in the garden, no issue

You do know that letting a bit of air out of a ball doesnt ruin it? You can refill the air using the valve the poster mentioned

I too spent years cultivating a beautiful garden.
Why is the childrens’ right to damage plants more important than OP’s right to peaceful enjoyment?

You have to inconvenience the parents.

Hold all the balls till a parent knocks only, slowly deflate the balls like a PP said. You’ve then not damaged them or refused to return them. You’ve just made life harder for the adults who refuse to fix their problem because it’s easier for them to not parent their children.

So by inconveniencing them you make them have to parent, they will then stop the balls as too much effort.

I’d do the same by ensuring it was the parents who came over to collect the balls. I’d also be presenting them with an invoice for broken or ruined plants

Don't return the balls immediately or answer knocks to retrieve. Pick a time of the day or week and throw them back all at once. Basically, like others have said, be inconvenient. They don't give a shit about being a pain to you...be the same way. They will soon get bored of the whinging when all the balls are gone. I frequently can't answer the door anyway while I'm WFH and put a sign saying as much on the door.
I don't know how much you can do about damaged plants. I love my garden and have spent a fortune on planting, but how would you prove that a ball has caused damage and how much that damage is worth? It's a massive pain and I'd definitely be really pissed off.
I assume all the fencing is fully up to height?

My neighbours sometimes have their grandchildren playing in the garden. I ignore any balls which come over. My gates are kept locked. A relative nephew arrives every few days and throws them out into the street where they will be bagged by whoever finds them. Balls very seldom come over nowadays as they know they will have to wait to get them back.

I must be neighbour of the year reading this thread! Wee lad next door is forever popping over to get his ball. Ive told him to go in himself but he lives in fear of my chihuahua so he always knocks. Imagine being the neighbour of some of the joy squashers on here

Joy squashers? Presumably the wee lad hasn’t damaged anything yet and you’re not listening to ten hours of banging against the fence yet.

I agree, borrow a ball loving dog. Preferably a large barky one who will dissuade any attempt to climb over.

Our garden backs onto a school, attended by some very energetic autistic/additional needs children.... I wish it was only balls that came flying over!

We've had many shoes, clothes, sticks, signage....even a teacher's walkie talkie. I feel so bad for the teachers, as it's quite a long walk around. I can't really throw them back; not least because the fence is 8 feet high.

In your shoes, OP, I'd throw the balls back....but at a time to suit you.