I didn't become an adult with my parents until they were each dying.
During that time I learned about them. I understood better their limitations and strengths, what kind of people they were, how they were similar to me in some ways but had responded to different parenting, a different culture, different economic circumstances and so on.
I also, when they died, realised I was now the adult In the front line, so to speak, between the world of life and growth and the void of death. I had the responsibility of protecting those younger. I didn't agree with all my parents' choices, but I saw their life through a different lens once I'd taken on that life position myself.
So to come back to OP's point, there is a point to my digression! I think you feel uncomfortable with your parents when you are still children to them, you haven't fully grown into confidence of your own needs, as others have said upthread, and you want their approval.
I would hope there is a way to gain the full power of the adult, parenting yourself a little, feeling confident in asking for what you need, letting others just be who they are. As I say for me it was when they died - I would love it for others, if they could nail that project earlier.
Now I reflect, I wish I'd understood the nature of that work, and been able to do it when they were alive. I'd love to be "me, knowing what I know now" and from that position have a conversation with each of them.
Maybe we never get to do that! And maybe, indeed, our parents can't hold us when we change either! In which case give yourself a break OP, you just need to be kind to yourself - it's not your fault that you aren't relaxed with them. x