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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Struggling with MIL belief

31 replies

CosyStork · 28/09/2025 23:16

I really like my MIL but I’m starting to struggle with some of her beliefs. She believes paracetamol causes autism and says there is medical evidence. She is a strong supporter and member of Reform. She is very suspicious towards anyone of a different race to herself. This is all quite recent (last few months)

I am not a very politically minded person, I’ll be honest. I understand people are able to have and express their own views and opinions. I just find myself increasingly concerned and annoyed by her views. For the record - I don’t believe paracetamol causes autism, I don’t support Reform and although I am against illegal immigration, I am not against all immigration and certainly don’t believe anyone with a different race to myself is ‘bad’. I have relatives and friends from different backgrounds and ethnicities and the thought she could look negatively on them just because of the melanin in their skin or where they were born is crazy to me.

I don’t want this to get turned into a political debate I purely want advice on how to cope with someone close with different opinions that alarm you. Tbh as an adult I could probably ignore it but we have children who I don’t really want her opinion being pushed on.

OP posts:
Namechange822 · 30/09/2025 20:00

Clairey1986 · 29/09/2025 07:20

If it’s all new I’d be suggesting the doctor for a mental health and dementia assessment tbh.

This would be what I’d do too. Something has changed over the last couple of months and my worry would be that she has had cognitive changes which have affected her reasoning skills.

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 30/09/2025 20:09

MrsSkylerWhite · 29/09/2025 11:00

How do you respect racism?

These types of threads have been done to death.
You won't change the mindset of someone that holds those types of beliefs unfortunately.

Petrolitis · 30/09/2025 20:12

Seamoss · 29/09/2025 07:37

I very strongly disagree with PP who have said she's entitled to her beliefs. These aren't religious beliefs we're talking about. This is racism and harmful lies.

My first response would be to say to her that I'm worried about her. Does she need to see the GP to have a chat about dementia? How's her mental health? What has led to her becoming so vulnerable to radicalisation so quickly?

Then if she refuses help, I'd say that she must keep her nonsense harmful views away from me and my children.

And every occasion where she spews racism or something factually incorrect in front of myself or my children I would be immediately loudly appalled and critical of her. I would tell her off like a strict school teacher tells off a child for swearing.

Long term, If she's unable to censor her own bigotry in our presence, then we wouldn't see her until she could

Agree with this.

No one is entitled to be a racist and no one should be spreading potentially harmful falsehoods about medicines.

Arran2024 · 30/09/2025 20:17

My brother in law is a huge conspiracy theorist- believes Trump is the second coming, thinks Hilary Clinton is a lizard, says Biden died years ago and was replaced by an actor, vapor trails in the sky are poison being sprayed on us....

He is coming round to a family do this weekend and he is under instruction not to start on any of it. We will see....

FunMustard · 30/09/2025 20:23

Everyone has their own beliefs, we don’t all have to agree.
Your beliefs arent less valid than hers, you are both equal.
Just respect differences as you do similarities and you’ll be fine.

Respectfully, I disagree. It's not a valid "belief" that all brown people are <insert whatever here>. It's not a valid "belief" that paracetamol causes autism, it's pure fear-mongering lies.

If someone wants to hold a contentious belief, which they are entitled to, then I am entitled to challenge them on it. I agree she sounds unwell. But then, I can honestly hold no truck with some people who are clearly easily led and possibly delusional but not unwell.

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 30/09/2025 20:28

She's allowed to hold her beliefs, as we all ae, but you don't have to listen to them being expressed in your home or around your children. If she's a decent person, she'll agree with you, if she isn't...well, then you'll know where you stand.

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