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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be considering a tonsillectomy for my 5 year old?

29 replies

Bearhead1867 · 28/09/2025 22:05

Backstory-
my son has a very rare laryngeal cleft so has been under ENT from birth, he has a severe speech disorder and suffered with repeated tonsillitis for years to the point his consultant was going to take his tonsils out, then it suddenly stopped so we decided on a watch and wait approach.

Fast forward to now, apart from his speech the cleft hasn’t caused any issues and we were discharged from ENT, his consultant was absolutely amazing.

due to his repeated tonsils his tonsils are huge and full of crypts, they get full of tonsil stones and his breath absolutely stinks 😭 so on top of his speech disorder when he does actually talk the smell is unbelievable, he can smell it too and it’s breaking my heart.

Last week I was at an appointment for myself at a private hospital and out walked his consultant, she immediately came over asking how my son was and I told her, she said I should ask my gp to refer him back to her or I can see her privately to discuss options. Thing is my gp can’t refer me back to her because she’s at a main children’s hospital and they can only refer local. Due to his cleft I would only want her because she’s an expert in the particular location of his cleft. I would absolutely take him privately for this.

am I mad for even considering the tonsillectomy? His confidence is already in the ground anyway with his speech and now the breath issue on top is too much for him. It’s not his teeth etc it’s absolutely the tonsil stones…

not sure what to do! Help

OP posts:
Blessedbethefruitz · 29/09/2025 11:49

My son had his in March at just turned 6, for recurrent tonsillitis and strep. He hasn't been ill since! He was one of the unfortunate ones who had significant bleeding at day 10 (apparently this is more common for recurring infection kids rather than sleep apnoea cases) which was terrifying and required an ambulance. But im glad we did it, cant wait for a winter of not working every night and weekend to make up for his 60% school attendance! He's also gained a huge amount of weight this year and is now actually healthy rather than underweight.

mummyhat · 30/09/2025 09:39

Also a surgeon in tertiary care and would be questioning why the GMP can’t refer you.
Yes get it done, the risks others have mentioned about recurrent infection, most pertinently imho about repeated courses of antibiotics, outweigh the small risks every surgical procedure carries…
Agree there are very few complications, but
I second what someone else intimated about ensuring you are seeing the consultant/expert you know and making sure the hospital you go to has proper HDU support (esp. if has to be private) just in case. Preferably a paediatric anaesthetist too👍🏽

Hankunamatata · 30/09/2025 09:46

I would have them out. If they are that large they may also cause sleep apnea

unsync · 30/09/2025 10:13

That's great @Bearhead1867 I had recurrent tonsillitis as a child and it was awful. The GP wouldn't refer me for surgery. Finally had them done when I saw a locum GP for yet another round of ABs when I was 17 and they referred me. That was forty years ago. I have very rarely had colds etc since, whereas winters were just miserable with tonsils. I'm sure your son will feel much better without them and it will hopefully help him with some of his other issues if he's not miserable with inflamed and scarred tonsils.

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