Do you care how your sibling/s live their life?

[NotMyBusinessMaybe]

Genuine question.

Do you care how your sibling/s live - their choices, values, relationships, finances, health, politics, whatever?

Do you feel protective? Judgemental? Indifferent? Do you find it hard to detach if you think they’re making mistakes?

Or are you someone who believes “it’s their life, not mine” and really means it?

Just wondering what the general sentiment is, especially among people who are close to their siblings vs those who are more distant or estranged.

My sibling took caring to mean interfering with my choices and making rude comments endlessly and then gossiping to my parents about DH, making up story after story. It deeply affected all of us and for many years we were on rocky roads. I feel there will never be a closeness because I simply can’t trust my family (they were too willing to believe). I have no close friends and I find it hard to trust anyone so writing on this forum is the closest to revealing my thoughts. I think my sibling was projecting their own issues where they never had a partner, got married or had kids. We are in a better place though as DH and I are quite forgiving people.

I have no contact with mine. We’ve got nothing in common and if you told me they’d been elected president of the galaxy, I’d shrug and change the subject.

Nope, not one bit. I haven’t seen my brother in 20+ years. Since my dad died and his estate was settled (our last meeting with the solicitor). Never heard from him again after that! To be fair, never heard from him before that either until he rang to tell me he’d made an appointment with the solicitor about the estate (my dad died intestate) and I had to tell him he needed to ring the hospital because they wouldn’t even release my dad’s body to the funeral home without his consent. I’d been chasing him for 3 days at that point.

Facebook tells me where he lives (I left my home country so thankfully nowhere near me) and he doesn’t seem to be up to much, other than occasionally ranting on Facebook about things. 😂

We don’t get on and I never think about them but I hope they are happy and stay well and healthy.

Exactly this.

I don’t judge how they live their lives I judge their morals, beliefs and behaviour and social media posts.

Luckily all internally because I never speak to them or about them.

One sibling, my favourite, is dead. ICGAF about the other two. I’d rather shit on my hands and clap than have anything to do with either of them

My siblings are all grown adults and entitled to live their own lives . One married someone it was very obvious it was a mistake but we had to let them get on with it. We were there to help with the fallout when she needed us.

The only time I objected out loud was when one sibling tried to borrow a very large amount of money and lied about why. Otherwise, I don't interfere.

I’ve always had a difficult relationship with my sister, she’s younger than me only by 2 years but I was always told to look after her, include her with my friends, had to help around the home whereas she was babied, we also shared a bedroom which I hated. She’s completely selfish as an adult, there’s only us now our parents have died, I’m still looking out for her and she’s still taking me for granted.
I hope my children have a better relationship throughout their lives than we do.

I don’t judge, and I don’t interfere, which is different to not caring - I would absolutely care if they were in trouble as a result of their choices, and would try to help.

But the only time I’d be bothered by what they do would be if it negatively impacted me or mine.

I have more to do with my inlaws then my own siblings so im.not fussed what he does.
Im judgmental of some things my BIL does, but I think that's due to the unhealthy relationship I have with MIL/FIL and I see their opinions oozing out into my brother in laws (and sister in laws but less obvious) life.

I think we've adopted a whole "it's your life, your choice" thing but we do care about each other.
I would have liked him to show more of an uncle role with my DS but generally I'm happy/proud of his choices how he's gone and got a career, travelled etc. He's gained life experience and independence which is different to how I had known him hibernating in his bedroom before 😅

No , not really. I'm more than happy looking after my elderly parents, whilst my siblings time is wayyyyy more important than anyone else's.

I love my brother very much, and we have a ‘live and let live’ approach to one another. His personal life is his business.

No.

I am quite close to my siblings but feel they are free to lead their lives as they wish. I may not agree with some if their choices but it’s not my business. However in terms of values and standards we pretty much agree.

I love my sister more than any one else on the planet, and she has no idea. She's messy and bratty and annoying but I would go to the ends of the earth for her.

I hope they live a life that makes them happy but it’s nothing to do with me. I don’t wish them any harm but I’m indifferent to them, really. I had one child by choice because I think I would’ve been happier without siblings.

This is lovely. However, it's not your kid's job to look after you or your siblings in old age.

I genuinely don’t care if my sibling is even breathing. There’s a lot of history there, but I can only live the best way for me and my family. Allowing a relationship between my kids and someone as physically, psychologically and emotionally dangerous as my sibling is would be neglectful at best - or abusive.

This.

I have three siblings but this hasn't ever come up because we are all decent people who have lives that only the most bizarre person would have any issues with. None of us are criminal, none of us have addictive behaviour, we all have responsible jobs that contribute to society, we all have non-offensive political views (there are obviously differences but nothing that would be considered extremist), none of us have cheated on a spouse. I like them all.

I have 2 siblings and barely give them a second thought. None of the 3 of us have anything in common whatsoever. As a result we just drifted apart over the years to the point where we know virtually nothing about what each other does. We go several years without contact. I don’t even know where they live.

Not close to brother or sister. However yes I care and I know they do too. Neither are bad people we are just every different individuals.

Both are coming to dd1s wedding next month. I look forward to seeing them. First time in 2 years.

Any thoughts of your own OP? Or is this fodder for an article?