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Original poster

1st date not accepting my choice

24 replies

Yeppppxxxxx · 28/09/2025 21:01

I had a first date a few days ago from online.

I had the start of a bad cold the day before the date and I told him this before hand. I was still well enough to go on the day of the date. He saw I was poorly on the date.

We got along well. Had good chat and he asked to see me again, I said yes.

He knew I was becoming more poorly over the next few days, and this morning I told him I was going to try and get some more sleep today to sleep it off. I apologised for my slow replies as I had been sleeping a lot. He said he understood. I woke up this afternoon to 4 messages. The third asking why I hadn't replied to his first and second message. The 4th was asking why I have ghosted him. I had informed him that I was sleeping this bad cold off this morning so he knew I wasn't ghosting him.

I've now told him I don't want to see him again because I don't want him accusing me of ignoring and ghosting him. I told him these reasons and wished him well. I was honest and polite to him.

He won't accept it. He has tried calling me and I've received multiple messages in the space of an hour. I've muted him.

Why can't people accept no for an answer. I've been nothing but honest with him. He has also told me I've over reacted because him accusing me of ghosting him was apparently a joke. I've only had one date with him.

OP posts:
Humanswarm · 28/09/2025 21:02

Just block him. No good will come of continuing to have him in your life in any way. Block, delete number and move on.

Canopop · 28/09/2025 21:03

Ergh what a catch 🙃 at least you’ve found out now and not later down the line block and delete !

Blueuggboots · 28/09/2025 21:03

He’s showing you who he is. Ignore at your peril!! Especially after one date?!?

OurChristmasMiracle · 28/09/2025 21:04

Lucky escape there tbh. Least he showed you who he is early on. Block and move on.

autienotnaughty · 28/09/2025 21:04

Bullet dodged. He thinks you owe him something, if he’s like this after 1 date imagine him a few months in??? Block him and be grateful he showed his colours early.

Original poster
Yeppppxxxxx · 28/09/2025 21:20

Thanks all, I blocked him just before I posted here, but I just find it so bizarre someone after only one date would do this!

OP posts:
TheatricalLife · 28/09/2025 21:24

Lucky escape at an early stage! Phew!

TwistedWonder · 28/09/2025 21:26

I had one like that. Met him on a Sunday in a pub and we swapped numbers with a view to maybe meeting up. By time I woke up Monday morning he’d sent me about a dozen messsged including 2 selfies.
He messaged all morning while I was driving to work and in office then started calling - he left a VM saying he was concerned I’d not responded to him. I replied with a curt ‘I’m working’

He then called again at 5 on the rot and left VM saying k must have finished work now. I blocked his number and he then sent me a WhatsApp with an essay telling me how I’d got him wrong and HAD TO give him a chance!

They're out there…

mindutopia · 28/09/2025 21:28

He sounds like an absolute psycho. You have had a lucky escape.

MaryG12 · 28/09/2025 21:35

Block him. This kind of behavior is a huge red flag, warning of a personality that doesn't respect boundaries and won't respect yours. As my daughter would say - "RUN AWAY" from this person.

Cherrysoup · 28/09/2025 21:39

They walk among us! Bonkers.

Slipperhead · 28/09/2025 21:42

Unhinged.

Original poster
Yeppppxxxxx · 28/09/2025 21:43

TwistedWonder · 28/09/2025 21:26

I had one like that. Met him on a Sunday in a pub and we swapped numbers with a view to maybe meeting up. By time I woke up Monday morning he’d sent me about a dozen messsged including 2 selfies.
He messaged all morning while I was driving to work and in office then started calling - he left a VM saying he was concerned I’d not responded to him. I replied with a curt ‘I’m working’

He then called again at 5 on the rot and left VM saying k must have finished work now. I blocked his number and he then sent me a WhatsApp with an essay telling me how I’d got him wrong and HAD TO give him a chance!

They're out there…

Oh God! Some people are nuts!

OP posts:
FitAt50 · 28/09/2025 22:00

I hate Hate HATE the word 'poorly'. Thats all.

Sassylovesbooks · 28/09/2025 22:05

Mark it down to experience and be very grateful he showed you early on, his true nature.

lnks · 28/09/2025 22:17

FitAt50 · 28/09/2025 22:00

I hate Hate HATE the word 'poorly'. Thats all.

Do you feel better after getting that off your chest?

SafeSex · 28/09/2025 22:17

It sounds like you dodged a bullet. (Probably because he used it to shoot himself in the foot.)

CherrieTomaties · 28/09/2025 22:20

Why can't people accept no for an answer

Because they’re textbook narcissists.

It’s not worth trying to understand why.

Block. Don’t give him any further headspace.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 29/09/2025 00:28

FitAt50 · 28/09/2025 22:00

I hate Hate HATE the word 'poorly'. Thats all.

😆🤣

I have to say, I love that word. I try to use it as much as I can 🤣

ClareBlue · 29/09/2025 00:52

Yeppppxxxxx · 28/09/2025 21:20

Thanks all, I blocked him just before I posted here, but I just find it so bizarre someone after only one date would do this!

Best not to try and work out why some people do these things. Us that operate to social norms and interact reasonably can never truely understand prople like this. Just move on. The accusations of ghosting then 'it was just a joke' is a huge red flag. Realise you've overstepped then minimise by saying it's a joke. Hardly an original way of masking controlling behaviour, is it.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 29/09/2025 00:59

Lucky escape. Continue to ignore him.

SnowFrogJelly · 29/09/2025 01:01

He sounds unhinged

Duckduckagogo · 29/09/2025 02:17

Yeppppxxxxx · 28/09/2025 21:01

I had a first date a few days ago from online.

I had the start of a bad cold the day before the date and I told him this before hand. I was still well enough to go on the day of the date. He saw I was poorly on the date.

We got along well. Had good chat and he asked to see me again, I said yes.

He knew I was becoming more poorly over the next few days, and this morning I told him I was going to try and get some more sleep today to sleep it off. I apologised for my slow replies as I had been sleeping a lot. He said he understood. I woke up this afternoon to 4 messages. The third asking why I hadn't replied to his first and second message. The 4th was asking why I have ghosted him. I had informed him that I was sleeping this bad cold off this morning so he knew I wasn't ghosting him.

I've now told him I don't want to see him again because I don't want him accusing me of ignoring and ghosting him. I told him these reasons and wished him well. I was honest and polite to him.

He won't accept it. He has tried calling me and I've received multiple messages in the space of an hour. I've muted him.

Why can't people accept no for an answer. I've been nothing but honest with him. He has also told me I've over reacted because him accusing me of ghosting him was apparently a joke. I've only had one date with him.

Why are people mental, entitled, needy and weird?

If we could answer that we could solve all the problems of the world.

Just block him and think no more of it.

Voneska · 19/04/2026 20:27

Don't worry we've all been there my dear. Sometimes it's a very scary place to realise that you've been engaging with a psycho.

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