To think the age gap is a problem?

[Pomegranatecarnage]

I have just started to dip my toe in OLD after eight years focusing on my children after my partner died. He was their stepdad and suffered from terminal cancer for three years, which was incredibly difficult for all of us and the reason why I decided to stay single till the youngest reached sixth form. I had one disastrous date, but to my surprise the second guy I met was lovely, and he seems to be keen on me. However, he’s 5 years younger than me and it’s playing on my mind. I have always thought that most men seem to be attracted to younger women, and at 48 he could potentially be dating women in their late thirties whereas I’m 53. AIBU to think that I am too old for him?

5 years? I thought you were going to say 20! No it’s not too big a gap.

I'm 15 years older than my DP. Seven years in we have an amazing life together.

Five years is nothing.

I think it’s the idea of sex that’s worrying me. I’ve been celibate since my DP died (and obviously while he was seriously ill). I feel my 50ish body will put him off.

at your ages that isnt a huge gap he is of "your generation " thats fine isn't it ? Just enjoy it if you like him and want another date,

My friend second husband is 6 years younger than her they got married just before her 60th birthday.

Five years is fine OP. It's early days so it may not work out, but don't let the age gap bother you.

I can see every woman being a bit uncomfortable after not having sex for a while, is it on the cards yet or are you just worrying now, get to know him first see how it goes and when the time comes soft lighting and some nice nightwear/lingerie.

Unless there’s a typo and you meant to write ‘25 years’, then no, there’s absolutely no age gap here.

Believe it or not, some men are attracted to the woman and not just her age. At 48, he’s presumably past trying to have (more) children so doesn’t need to limit himself to younger women. Relax and enjoy your new relationship. Best of luck.

I am worrying in advance, really. We are three dates in and get on very well. I won’t be looking to get physical for at least another month or maybe longer!

I think that’s absolutely fine! 5 years is nothing.

5 years is nothing. And, if he wanted to be dating younger women, he would be? He is not, he’s dating you. It sounds like you have had a very difficult few years, see where this goes and try and enjoy it.

The late Mr Lakie was 5 years younger than me. We spent 15 blissfully happy years together, starting when I was 50 and he was 45.

Yeah if you are in no rush then if he is still interested then you can tell him how you are feeling.

As someone else said if he was looking for a younger woman he wouldn't be having another date with you.

I wouldn’t give his age another thought OP. Five years is nothing. If he’s lovely just go for it.

Five years?! That doesn’t even qualify as an ‘age gap’, let alone a problematic one.

My husband is five years younger than me. Five years isn't considered an age gap worth noting, I think ten years minimum for it to have any significance, unless it's a very young couple (teens / twenties).

My DH is five years younger than me. Doesn’t factor into anything.

That’s barely even an age gap. And don’t think all men want someone younger. I’ve had so many men date women in their 30s who’ve been insecure, image focussed, materialistic and extremely anxious. As well as desperate to have kids. What they found attractive in me was confidence and maturity. Sadly for me they didn’t all give that back.
Age is just a number. Look at how he makes you feel and how he behaves towards you.

53 and 48 is nothing. Do you think you're looking for reasons not to embark on a new relationship? Understandable in the circumstances

Yes, you could well be right. Something to ponder-thank you for the insight.

That's a couple of years less gap than between me and my (fairly) recently aquired DP.

He doesn't have DC and it did bother me initially, that if he'd gone for the same gap the other way, he could be with someone where DC might still be a possibility, but he's said he realised a while ago it wasn't going to happen for him.

In every other way it's lovely, although from seeing friends relationships, I do worry about what might happen when I'm 75 and he's 67, that seems a bigger gap somehow to when you're in your 40s/50s.

I completely understand feeling self-conscious about sex with a new partner-I’m 51 and would feel exactly the same. But if you like each other, I think it’ll be fine when you’re ready to move forward.

Remember, you’ve put others first for years and this is your time to enjoy yourself. You don’t have to commit if it’s not right, but let yourself have some fun. 💐