Celebration/wedding cost annoyance

[Sorrento79]

I obviously am being unreasonable because market forces etc but really!

we are getting married after over 10 years together, we'd always intended to but not got round to it, it's a second marriage for both of us and we're quite not interested in fussy mother of the bride/ who sits where/is uncle elton going to be drunk again type pfaff.

but my partner has had a cancer diagnosis and we want to do it before/in case our hands are forced later if you see what i mean. We want it to be informal, buffet, daytime, friends mainly and some family, not with complex table plans or even not even a sit down meal. Just a few hours socialising with people we want to be there, and a quick toast/speech and we're off. Maybe 70-100 people.

thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds! I found a village hall we could have cheaply but hardly any parking, not enough plates etc (we'd get a catetered buffet)and it would skimp a bit on size. Anywhere big enough wants you to have a complex meal and flowers and pfaff. Prepared to spend a couple of grand but not £10k!

why is it so impossible to get venues to whittle down their offerings to a minimum? I would think most of their waiting staff etc are gig employees so their fixed costs must be lower?

(Nottingham btw in case anyone has a suitable venue in mind!)

Sigh

YABU. Cough up the cash and eat the raspberry coulis and petit fours

YANBU. It's a tiresome reflection on the pfaff of modern life.

Have you tried a local golf club or a pub with a room or a local rugby club? The main thing is that you get married. Golf clubs round here specialise in buffets. We had a party for 50 people and it cost us £2500 but very few people were drinking. They let us take a cake in.

The problem is the w word. If you're happy to just have a party, then book for a party not a wedding

I'm not in Nottingham but for our wedding last year we had a small ceremony in the registry office and then I hired out a local golf club house, got the room decorated, hired a dj and had a massive buffet and it was all done in under 5 grand. It was stressful trying to do everything on a budget but I managed it after researching and messaging dozens of different businesses etc. Good luck, it will be worth it!

We wanted similar but smaller numbers you have to basically do it on a weekday and book with not too much notice so they know they are unlikely to get a booking elsewhere. Also look at “twighlight” weddings which is the ceremony and evening dance/buffet only these tend to be cheaper. Food for 100 people will run into a few of thousand though no matter how you look at it as £2000 % 100 is £20 per head. Good luck finding what you need, with a lot of searching and being flexible I am sure something will come up x

Agree with previous poster, don’t use the word ‘wedding’ say you want to hold a 50th birthday party or similar.

A relative got a brilliant deal with a hotel as they booked for the week between Christmas & New Year. Full wedding, food, evening do. It was half the price of the same package in the summer months. Would it be worth seeing if anywhere in your area offers similar?

As pp said as soon as you mention the w word the price doubles or triples.
We went to a funeral recently and the local golf club did a lovely buffet and on their board outside it said catered hall for hire with bar baptisms, funerals and informal weddings.
Not near Nottingham though

We live in Nottinghamshire. We found a village hall (near Matlock, it had several pubs with accommodation) with a cash bar. We made our own tablecloths and flower arrangements. We made our own bunting. We made 100 picnic lunches and then had a pizza truck and an ice cream cart. We had a DJ as well. It was the bees knees! £4k total. Don't mention the word wedding. Just say it's a celebration. For some reason, "wedding" raises the price!

Id disagree with ommiting the wedding word especially outright lying

The last thing you want to do is piss off suppliers if you're obviously turning up as a bride and groom

We actually found some wedding venues cheaper as package deals. We found trying to seperate things out actually increased prices, and village halls etc worked out fairly expensive by the time we hired in things

why is it so impossible to get venues to whittle down their offerings to a minimum? I would think most of their waiting staff etc are gig employees so their fixed costs must be lower?

Because if they think they can rent the space for a sit down meal for 100, then of course they will hold out to do so. A lot of the costs are fixed (mortgage/loan interest on the property, reception staff, cleaners, utilities etc) so having 20 casual waiters for a sit down rather than 5 for a standing buffet (or whatever) doesn’t make a huge difference.

Im a wedding caterer. Find a church hall or community centre. Get a buffet from a caterer (im not local to you sadly but my prices start from £10 per head and includes disposal plates etc and im sure there will be caterers in your area who can provide that too).

Hire a local dj or just get a playlist on a phone and have that running through speakers.

Decorate the room yourself.

I don't charge any extra if its a wedding as I think that's a piss take tbh.

What do you provide for £10 per head?

Stop looking at “wedding venues”.

Get married at a church or pretty City Hall. Have your reception at a local pub or village hall afterwards, golf clubs or chain hotel often cheaper too.

If you want a pretty venue with exclusive use, all in one location, and good food for that many people you have to pay for it. Venues cost a lot to run. Cut your numbers, cut your expectations, cut the “extras” and you can save loads.

why is it so impossible to get venues to whittle down their offerings to a minimum?

Because enough people are willing to pay the exorbitant prices.

Do the ceremony at the register office and hire a village hall or similar for the reception.

Good luck!

There is the Polish Club in Derby which I know used to do functions and was affordable. Just had a look and it has changed hands but still seems to do functions at reasonable prices.

Also try British Legion clubs, other social clubs etc.

We booked a venue for an after wedding buffet style party. We didn’t tell them it was for after our wedding and it cost half the price than it would have done otherwise.

Don't be afraid to say it's a cash bar. You might buy enough bottles of wine for a toast but let them pay for the booze. This is a common thing in lots of places, particularly if you end up having the party in a pub.

As someone who occasionally has wedding clients, I personally see the inflated cost as recompense for the absolute ballache that is dealing with the average bride-to-be.

My Aunt & Uncke had the best wedding and had a similar number of guests to what you propose.
They had a Registry Office ceremony followed by lunch in a local hotel. They had negotiated with the hotel to provide their standard set lunch menu at £22.50 per head for two courses, a few bottles of wine on each table and exclusive use of the room.
After that, we all went back to their house and had a very informal house party.

I think you should start a thread!

when speaking to venues stop using the word wedding and use birthday party family reunion etc as once a venue hears the word wedding the package gets stingy and the price sky rockets but they hear family reunion birthday party etc they go all out to accommodate

Our local ex-servicemen's club has a function room that you can rent out cheaply, decorate yourself and bring your own food. They don't charge you as long as they make £600 on bar takings. Have you checked your local sports clubs/servicemen clubs/Labour or Conservative clubs? They often have function rooms.

Book a big room in a working men's cub sort of place - shop round at local butchers etc that offer outside catering as they tend to do the typical cold buffet picky bits buffets at reasonable costs.

It’s not just that it is a wedding, though that is part of the issue. Customers expect higher standards for weddings and that costs money to provide. There can be no mistakes on such an important day from most customers perspective. That means higher staffing levels and built in redundancies.

then you need to consider your guest count. 100 people eating is a lot. Even if you manage that at 20 a head, that is 2000 right there.

preparing that much food in volume and serving it all at once is not the same as preparing 100 meals over the course of an evening. You need more staff and bigger equipment. Even something simple like bacon and eggs being served hot and delicious to a large crowd requires planning and execution and that is where it gets expensive.

I just saw a video about table linens and steaming them. That if you want to do it yourself you need to a lot at least 3 hours to steam out the wrinkles from tablecloths during wedding set up.

my grandfather was a florist and did my wedding flowers for free. He did nothing but prep flowers from waking until sleep for the 3 days prior to my wedding. The labor is insane.

I went to a party in Bunny village hall (it was after the installation of a gravestone and a church service). Very pretty, traditional building and the hosts decorated it with bunting.