Feeling a bit low with people not responding

[Cow00000]

A friend had a baby around 2 months ago, her second. This is somebody I went to school with and I've been to all the hen, wedding and baby showers and so on she's had. I moved an hour away, probably more like 50 mins drive, they have in their words a very top of the range car worth over 50k.
I moved before the 2 kids came along and she's never once been here, never seen the place I bought, never met my new boyfriend.

Im not yet married with kids, after her baby was born I sent a card congratulating her, I messaged saying I would love to come and meet her newborn son, she read it and never replied. I know people are going to pile on me for that, but she's posting plenty on social media and has clearly met up with other people.

Another one, not as big of a deal but an old colleague from a job I left. She got in touch to message asking how I was doing and if I fancied a coffee. I was surprised as this doesn't happen to me often. We met and I thought we got on well, though she kept telling me she doesn't like people and doesn't gel with them easily. Around 6 weeks later I messaged her again asking how she was doing, she was trying to be polite, I messaged if she wanted to meet up again and no response, it's been 4 weeks.

So it just feels like 2 recent snubs and I don't know what I've done wrong. I know I won't be everyone's cup of tea but I think I'm likeable. I've heard when people become parents and get married they tend to hang around with similar couples and move on from people they feel they can't relate to anymore.

I echo a lot of posters here. Same has happened to me. I just stopped trying to be the kne who always made the effort and the contact. Just let the ship sink and walk away with you head held high.
There's a few that since I stopped contacting them they've disappeared, and a few that only contact me when they want something but ignore my messages for weeks. Those are mainly gone too. Life's too short for users.

This attitude is most probably the root of your issues.

Sometimes it just feels like no one wants to be your friend/hang around with you.

And unless you've been behaving monstrously, it's just likely to be a coincidence of others having busy times not related to you.

Don't take it personally.

I feel exactly the same. People I thought I’d had good friendships with just never reply to me or God forbid suggest a time to meet up.

I’m going through some life pain at the moment and not my usual happy self. It’s amazing how my friends haven’t bothered to text or call and just say hi hope you’re ok. When my friends go through bad things - job loss, divorce, parent illness I am so supportive. I ask how they are. Call them regularly. Then you want to get some friendship back and it’s like tumbleweed.

I don’t agree that people are “busy”. When I’m with my friends I see them on their phones. They have the time. They saw the messages.

For me what’s changed is the selfish attitude where everyone is in their own worlds and don’t stop and think about others.

one girl who is a friend of a friend has been regularly asking to catch up and checking in to see how I’m doing and I ask vice versa. Everytime we connect I remember there are good people and only bother making the effort with them. Be the unicorn x

Sorry you're going through this OP.

I feel since covid, people got used to their own company.
Many are starting to reconnect but still finding it challenging after so long.

Hopefully you'll get to be with similar people who put in the effort.

It’s two unrelated instances of people not getting back to you. One has a newborn and an older child, and one is an ex-colleague you’ve only met once since you stopped working together. They’re not snubs, one of them is an old friend who’s got a new baby — you’ll catch up some other time. The other isn’t someone you’re terribly invested in, as you say yourself. It’s two unanswered messages from people, out of all the people in your life who do stay in touch.

You come across very needy and that’s enough to put others off.
Get yourself a life so you are more interesting to others.

I’d give the first one a chance - send a message asking how things are going with two children; the second one I’d wait and see and not be concerned - it’s very casual anyway.

I've literally said i didn't come here to be insulted.
You have no idea whether i have a 'life' or not, so just bore off, thanks.

You posted quite a while back about your meeting with an ex colleague, didn’t you? Hadn’t they already explained they were extremely socially awkward and didn’t really like meeting up with people so this was out of character for them in the first place. In that scenario it wasn’t you it was them.

People with new babies are too caught up in surviving to think to meet up
woth everyone that says let’s meet sometime. Her priority will be surviving alongside those who are going through similar things - again that’s them not you.

if I’m honest these are two examples
of a long period of time. I get it weekly and I just deal with it now. Those who want to be your friend will be. Some of my best friends are people I don’t see for years at a time and there’s no bitching about not keeping regular contact.

Being lonely is shit. I totally get that and I wish I had answers all I can suggest is leave those who don’t give you a second of their time to contact and be friends when they’re ready or even not at all. Don’t take it personally and move on.

whatever you do don’t go chasing them