https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/sep/28/my-cousins-daughter-didnt-invite-me-to-her-wedding-and-i-feel-deeply-hurt
My cousin is older than me and I have always enjoyed a close relationship with her children, despite not living nearby. Her daughter was my bridesmaid, and after we emigrated when she was a teenager I became a distant mentor – cheering on her ambitions and inviting her to spend a post-uni gap year using our home as a base. She has a great independent streak and quickly found her feet, and became close with my own children, some of whom now live near her in the UK. We all get together regularly when I visit each summer. She’s always had access to our holiday cottage, and we let her stay rent-free in our daughter’s university flat while she was saving for a mortgage.
I was delighted when she got engaged, but heard nothing for months apart from a note from her mum to say they were looking forward to the wedding. It later transpired that she had decided to have an intimate affair. I was sad, of course, but as they didn’t have a big budget I understood, and watched the date come and go.
I thought I was OK about it, but then she sent me photos showing all the trimmings of a “proper” wedding, with a gushing account of her wonderful day with “family and close friends”. I felt absolutely bereft.
I have been trying to rationalise my emotional response. I feel foolish for investing time, effort and goodwill in someone who doesn’t “appreciate” it enough to include me in their life’s key moments. I don’t feel as if I was ever transactional in being there for her, and she has voiced her appreciation, but something about it has deeply hurt and upset me.
This struck a cord with me for some reason. I would be furious if they hadn't invited me... and it's an excellent example of how people are willing to take, take, take and reciprocate nothing in return.