Am I being overly anxious or could this be signs of dementia?

[Worrriedd]

My mum’s mum had dementia. I am now worried that my mum, 64, is developing signs of it. She can be quite cold, this was a lesser trait in the past but now it can be very blatant. She doesn’t seem to care about things that I would be mortified about…parking over two spaces and not caring even when it’s pointed out (she’ll move it to park properly but only when prompted), leaving rubbish at tables for example we recently went to a cafe and she’d bought her granddaughter a toy, it came with loads of cardboard and plastic and she was fully prepared to just leave it on the table…just things that I think are really quite rude. Similarly when she’s had a coffee and it’s come out as the wrong order she will be calm and smiling but also very cutting to waiting staff. She’s never really been like this, in fact I would say if anything she’d give people the benefit of the doubt and be quite overly pleasant to people.

She doesn’t tend to forget anything much though. So maybe these things are just old age?

Hi @Worrriedd - she’s quite young still and there’s nothing really conclusive in the examples you’ve given. Did your grandmother have early onset dementia? I know how worrying it is, one of my parents had it and it’s a bloody awful disease so I understand your distress x

Hmm, behaviour changes can be an indication of dementia, but unless there are memory or executive function issues I’d say she is probably just a woman who has far fewer fucks to give than she used to.

My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia at 69, but we had suspicions since she was 61/62 - she started having trouble recalling names for people and things, and couldn’t handle numbers very well any more (e.g. couldn’t give correct change, lost her thread when trying to add up). The bitch about dementia is that it’s inconsistent in its presentation and progression - you don’t know which symptoms will show up first, it’ll be inconsistent (good days and bad days), and it will stay at the same sort of level for quite a while lulling you into a false sense of security before a sudden decline in ability again.

it could be worth having a memory assessment done at the GP / memory clinic to get a baseline, and then get it redone in a few years if you still have concerns or things have got worse.

Being rude is not a sign of dementia.

if it were there’d be a lot of
dementoa being diagnosed in many,many adults.

More likely to be post menopausal don't give a shit syndrome. Once our be nice hormone (oestrogen) is depleted enough we stop caring as much about what people think of us and basically stop giving a shit. It's not nice to be rude of course, but having spent all of our lives having to put others first and being taken advantage of, it's difficult to keep a lid on it. You really do get sick of the nonsense by that age.

As a post meno woman I can tell you that I am not suffering from dementia. But I am all out of fucks. Not one to be seen. Couldn’t give a shit about external opinion. That makes me more sane IMO.

Behavioural change, such as behaving inappropriately in social situations, can be a sign of dementia.

Op, only you know your mum. If there has been significant change in her personality then it could be worth suggesting a GP visit.

Young onset dementia is still pretty rare though.

Exactly what I was thinking.

I'm 70, and I have far fewer shits to give than I did at 50, but my memory's still excellent. I've always been outspoken, but what little filter I once had seems to have worn out.

Behavioral change can def be part of dementia, especially the early onset ones like fronto temporal dementia. My mum had it, and though her language loss was first, she had behaviour changes well before memory problems

She just sounds like she's run out of shits to give to me!