Age gap conundrum

[PineappleRave]

I’m 40, he is 56 so 16 years between us. Nothing has happened yet and he is absolutely not my usual type but there is chemistry there and I feel like something could.
Interested in others experience and if this is to much of an age gap?

My DH is 7 years older than me (he looks younger than his age) but I do feel that she gap sometimes in terms of interests and energy level

That's actually way beyond grim.

It works both ways, it’s the 20 year olds eyeing me up in my 40s too.

That is disgusting. Why would they want sex with someone who could be their granddaughter? You are still young, it is him who is making you feel insecure. You haven’t aged 10 years. These should be some of your best years, you are a 40 year old beautiful kickass woman! Get out of this horrible relationship

Because I’m afraid the truth of the matter is , if roles are reversed & the guy is 40 & woman is 56 , she will more than likely be left for a younger model 🤷🏻‍♀️, infact it’s kind of a given tbh ..
It’s not about double standards at all , I didn’t make up the rules of the game , but that normally is how it plays out if a man is with a much older woman..
Where as if women go for men in around our own age we have much more of a chance at happiness…

OP with regard to the question you are asking , big picture I can’t see it working out , he’s 60 when you’re 44 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ok, so I am 58 and my husband is 79. We have been together for 20 years. It is not about age it’s about people.

Because he is with a younger woman he is most probably younger in spirit than his biological years. He does need more care than he did when we met, but I am happy to provide it.

We have had many wonderful years and traveled the world together, we are just slowing down a little now. His hearing is a bit ropey, as well as his eyesight.

We have a great time together, we laugh a lot and he says he would be lost without me. Which is true. But hopefully, he will never have to be without me. It’s called love!

We also have lots of “cuddles”.

I intend to keep him going as long as I can.

OP, it’s about who you both are as people not about how old or young you are.

You have a lovely life/love story pp ❤️

As long as the “safe bet” isn’t because of his age? I am his age-ish, and being 56 does not automatically make him “safe” in terms of a steady or healthy choice. Ask him how many women his own age he’s dated, that will tell you right away what he’s looking for, and it might not be a meeting of minds 🙃

I’m going to be honest and probably offend but I don’t understand how at 40 that you would find a 56 year old attractive? You’re in your prime and he isnt! I’m early 50s and struggle to find many 55+ year olds attractive as the ones that do take care of themselves physically are pretty rare ime.

Maybe I’m just a bit jaded, but there aren’t many men my age or men in general that I find that attractive! And as I’ve got older I’ve realised I’m not attracted to looks as such but whether I click with someone and enjoy spending time with them…

Well I know plenty of attractive men in their mid 50s !!! .. Infact it’s very easy to find someone attractive to have sex with that age , it’s to find all the other right bits in all the right places that’s a challenge.. From the sounds of it , OP has met someone she clicks with …
OPS partner by the way is 56 not 96 !!!!!

Attractiveness is very subjective… maybe my standards are just too high! 😉

You go in with eyes open if you do.
So in 8 years he will be looking at retiring, you will still be in career mode.

23 almost 24 years between myself and my husband. Honestly there are downsides he likes the slower pace in life a bit but on a day to day I can’t imagine being with someone else xx

I’m 41 partner is 59, we met when I was 35 and he was 53. Tbh I thought he was mid 40s so was shocked when I found out he was older, he looks and acts a lot younger (high performance triathlete). For us it works, he looks after himself and we understand what the future looks like and things may change but for now we are happy. I think life is so short, forget about what people think and do what makes you both happy. Xx

I met DP when I was 25 and he was 45 (we didn’t get together until later). We’re now 40 and 60. We get along great and the age difference doesn’t cause any problems although I accept I’ll probably pay for my choice in the the future.

If it’s not necessarily going to be anything too serious I wouldn’t over think it!

Do what makes you happy OP. Follow your heart. As long as it doesn't affect anyone else, what's the problem? X

I have experience of those environments - the upgrade to the new model is never far away.

Get one that has realised that he prefers a girl with life experience and common generational data points. They are rare but they exist. End this cycle.

@PineappleRave For a short mid-term relationship? You like the guy? Full speed ahead! But if you are catching feelings, as the Americans say, beware that later life could involve compromises that you may not have fully considered.

Or maybe you just don’t happen to see or meet attractive men 🤷🏻‍♀️..
I do , lucky me 😊

I’m 58 and the thought of being with a regular bloke of 74, no thanks!

Leave him for us women of his own age, we are struggling out here!!! Lol

What a deeply toxic environment you are in. I’d much rather be celibate than put up with this absurdity.