To say it’s “because my parents were professionals”?

[seegulle]

Ok yes - it is generally BU.

But what do you say when someone asks you why you don’t have a regional accent?

Where I grew up, there was a strong regional accent. Not everyone had it, but most did. Unfortunately it was drilled into people of a certain generation that speaking like that was not proper.

And so, despite my family having lived in the area for time immemorial, with my parents having gone to university in the 1950s/1960s, they had no strong regional accent. Perhaps a bit of a twinge but most people wouldn’t tell.

Recently I was chatting to a stranger in the pub who asked where I was from. I told him I was from the next town over. But he wouldn’t have it.

He kept asking me why I didn’t sound like everyone else. I told him that maybe it’s because I went away for uni. That wasn’t enough. He suggested maybe I moved here as a child. I told him no, I was from here. Then he kept asking why I or my family didn’t sound local if we were local. So the best I could come up with was “well I guess it’s because my parents were professionals”. Then queue all the lah di dah comments.

Usually there is a "posher" version of a local accent - outsiders may not be able to pick up on it. But locals will get it.

I don't think that's true.

I work with a woman from the North East from a professional family. Father is a barrister. Sister was a QC.

She just sounds "posh". There are a few tiny cues that she's not from the south east, but you have to listen out for them.

I know several (more than 10) born and bred and *unrelated Welsh people, moved to England for university or work (after university in Wales) and none have Welsh accents. FWIW they are all professionals.

*one couple are both Welsh but obviously grew up in different families.

It's called sympathetic accent syndrome.

"we were a Radio 4 family" was my go-to line

I grew up in a bog standard commuter town and went to private school. I have a posh accent without a posh lifestyle. My DF is from the North so when I go there I play the I'm a soft Southerner card.

I actually find it harder in London as I sound privileged. I would say I probably care less as I get older.

I also sometimes get asked if I'm Australian and genuinely I reply no but I watched a lot of Neighbours growing up as I genuinely think that's where I get it from!

My husband was born in Croydon, lived there for 2 years, moved to Farnborough, Hampshire until he was 7 and then moved to Dorset. His parents were both from London, and had the accent. My husband has no accent!! Neither of his parents were professionals, very much working class. I was born in Wiltshire, grew up in Hampshire and now live in Dorset, but I have a slight Hampshire/Dorset accent! 🤷 My son born in Dorset, growing up in Dorset but he has no Dorset accent!! 🤷

Did you go to private school OP? That’s probably the explanation surely?

That's the explanation for me, I'm a Geordie with no accent and I think I confuse both Northern and Southerners. DH even more so, he's Scottish but also no accent, boarding school.

That’s not really the reason though. The reason is because your (professional) parents thought regional accents were less than so trained it out of you.

I’m a professional and work with many people with strong regional accents. In some geographies it actually makes you more appealing to clients to have a regional accent, and I’m known to lean into mine more in some meetings.

And people don’t tend to pick up accents from their parents unless their parents don’t accept an accent. My cousin is American born to two British parents with British accents - but has a strong American accent. She does say Tom-ah-to not Tom-ay-to though as her parents would correct her on this so it was trained out of her. Any professional or non professional parent could do this though.

I don't think you were accurate saying "my parents were professionals". Lots of professionals aren't (and weren't) funny about local accents and did not go out of their way to lose/not acquire one. It's not about them being "professional", it's about them being snobby.

"My parents were snobby and discouraged me from speaking with a local accent" is more accurate.

I come from an area with a strong regional accent, I assume I had it. When I went to uni people struggled to understand me, I didn't try to lose my accent I just tried to speak in a way that was understood and took on board the spoken and unspoken feedback.

I'm autistic, I'm used to modelling behaviour. It was no different.

I never went home after graduating, worked in several areas and never thought about it. Now I have a neutral accent. Dh says I occasionally get an accent when speaking to my parents but otherwise there's nothing, it's not conscious.

Anyway, saying your parents were professionals is a bit odd, you could just say it's how you've always spoken. He was rude though.

I am from a town in the NE with a strong regional accent, I do sound like I’m from here but i enunciate very well and I’m often called posh. It comes from living abroad for the best part of a decade and getting sick of people not understanding a word I said, so I had to change or spend half my time repeating myself. I have just carried on with that now I’m back home. I did pick up an accent from where I was but that has fallen away now unless I say certain words which are more common there than here. I quite like my accent now, nothing wrong with being Northern.

Never been asked. And I have no regional accent (from the Midlands.)

People don't care, they really don't..... Who on earth are these people asking where your regional accent is?

Or it could be "my parents weren't snobby but discouraged me from speaking with a local accent".

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Doesn’t apply in all cases! We live where neither of us (DH and I) grew up. My DC have a local accent despite my best efforts !

I know people born in the north east and Yorkshire who speak with Received Pronunciation.

OP I’m going to be that bitch that says that if you want to be lah di dah, you need to know it’s ‘cue’ not ‘queue’ in this context.

Well if someone kept going on about it in the end I'd just laugh and say "it's because I'm a bit posh" and take the lah-di-dah teasing in good spirit.

To me class is a thing that just is (and requires no mention unless under interrogation) whereas a professional career is more about being clever or high achieving, so it does feel a bit patronising to give as the reason for your accent.

But you might choose to simply speak with less or more of your accent. You might choose to adopt a fake accent. The most oft heard here - one hour out of London - is what DC calls 'man dem' and most often heard spoken by teenagers.

OP I’m going to be that bitch that says that if you want to be lah di dah, you need to know it’s ‘cue’ not ‘queue’ in this context.

I'm glad someone else was thinking this 😂

I don’t think it’s about jobs, just whether an accent is encouraged/allowed.

My mum doesn’t have much of a Geordie accent. She isn’t a professional - she left school in year nine. Because her parents (a miner and a barmaid - no professionals in sight) wanted her to sound ‘posh’ and so sent her to elocution lessons as a child.

I wouldnt have carried in engaging with him if he kept pressing for me to justify myself.
He was basically calling you a liar and not believing you.

I wouldn't necessarily agree with that. I'm sarf Landun born and bred, but am 'posh.' Mum is a strongly accented Yorkshire woman, and dad was foreign. I don't speak like either of them or my sibling who is very sarf Landun. We went to local comprehensive schools too where almost everyone was from sarf Landun. Who knows?!

wish there was still the laugh emoji