What is wrong with me???

[Pinkswing]

Sorry… this isn’t really an AIBU.

I rarely drink alcohol, it’s not really something that features in my life. But when I do, I will drink too much and wake up with little memory of the night before.

So this maybe happens twice a year and leaves me feeling horrific! The self loathing is on another level.

I’m clearly not an alcoholic, but it seems like I don’t know how to stop once I’ve started and then it leaves me feeling quite literally disgusting the following day.

What is wrong with me and how do I fix it?

im not sure what you expect people to say other than….don’t drink alcohol. Drove to venues so you have no choice. Choose non alcoholic drinks. Be in control of you

I don’t think alcohol is for you !! Are you taking any medication that could cause this extreme reaction or do you literally just binge it out?
I don’t really drink and will choose not to drink knowing how it makes me feel and the impact on the following day.

Sorry - you’re right! I’m being stupid and I know that. I just want to be able to drink like my friends and family. I don’t know why I can’t seem to.

Yes I just seem to just binge when I have a drink. I don’t know why.

its never my intention.

You binged alcohol. Is it the hand to mouth action or is it the alcohol itself? One sip and you're hooked?

Been there, done that, sometimes horrific after effects from a binge on my health and personal relationships. Never ends well. If you can't moderate you'll have to cut it out. Binge drinking is just a big of an issue as alcoholism just in different ways.

I’m honestly not sure which of these is the issue.

Ask GP.

Is it because you don’t recognise your limits because you don’t drink often? I rarely drink, but when I do, I have one, maybe two drinks then stop because I know I have a rubbish tolerance for alcohol and it makes me feel dreadful.

you don’t HAVE to drink you know?

I just drive to places. Takes away any opportunity to drink alcohol.

On the occasions you go out, how would you find opting for the non alcoholic versions? Some of the beers and mocktails taste similar enough to the alcoholic versions that you could try to fool yourself.

When you get to the tipsy stage and one drink way from saying fuck it. Go onto soft drinks. Have a J20 or something. Once you've got the hang of it it should be second nature.

I’m the same. I go out only once or twice a year, but when I do, I don’t know when I’ve had enough. I mix drinks, order doubles and shots and cannot remember most of the night before and suffer for days afterwards. I’ve not been “out out” for 18 months because of it. Weirdly, at Christmas or on holidays I can have a cocktail and stop at one or two.

Drink makes you feel good, so it's not surprising people binge on it until it actually stops you feeling good. It's very addictive.

I'd say just avoid drinking basically. I mean if you could drink less strong drinks, and fewer of them, and alternate with water or soft, then that would help but if it's not easily done then abstinence might be more sensible.

Having said that millions of people drink to excess occasionally all over the world, so you're certainly not alone in feeling that hungover shame!

When some people drink it sets up a craving for more. They don't recognise the signals that they've had enough, or their brain misleads them and signals that they need more. I'd this is you, unless you have someone you can ask to 'mind you' or you don't mind taking the risks and facing the consequences, then alcohol free us your only option. Because all the advice in the world to alternate drinks, switch to water etc (you know this, it's not rocket science) will mean nothing when your brain is tricking you that you must have another.

Binge drinking, either dont drink at all or have just one and swap to soft drinks. You cant handle it.

As an alcoholic and crisis worker, I'm curious why you believe you're not an alcoholic? You've pretty much just defined what one is--a person who is unable to control their drinking. Perhaps you think an alcoholic drinks every day, has delirium tremens when they don't, etc. That's a late stage alcoholic. But you're just not there yet. I'd suggest that your statement, "I just want to drink like..." is the motto of every alcoholic. Additionally, some of your self-hate around the issue ("you're right, I'm being stupid) suggests that it's having a pretty big impact on your self-esteem. Want to find out for sure? Try going a month without. If you're not an alcoholic, it'll be no big deal. You probably won't think about it much, you certainly won't crave it, you won't have to tell others...if you do have trouble, there's a lot of help out there, and you'll develop a new friend group that knows how to have fun in sobriety. SMART Recovery, Women in Sobriety (on line) and Alcoholics Anonymous are some possibilities.