To think it’s selfish to watch tv for an entire train journey?

[storke]

Recently went on a 7 hour train journey with dp. For the entire journey, he sat glued to his ipad watching a tv series.

Even when eating the nice dinner I went and bought, he still watched tv.

I don’t have an ipad or laptop to watch anything on. I read my book for a bit and scrolled the internet.

AIBU to think that’s a bit selfish?

It would have been nice to have chatted for an hour or so, seeing as we were going on holiday together. I have no problem entertaining myself but 7hrs straight without any chitchat was mind numbing.

Did he have earbuds in ? You can buy a little jumper to plug two sets in so you could have both watched it. Long journeys are boring so provided he wasn’t disturbing anybody I think it’s fine, personally

ETA could have removed to eat the meal though

Do you try a conversation?

Wow! If my DH ignored me for 7 hours I’d think there was something wrong with our marriage. We’ve been together over 30 years and still chatter away all the time. Have you not got much of a rapport? Why are you together?

I think you should have brought your own entertainment. I don't blame your dp for watching a show to keep himself occupied

I think it is a bit selfish - but also wonder if you said something at the time. Did he actually rebuff your attempts at conversation which is not just selfish - it's rude. Or did you spend 7 Hrs waiting fo him to realise you wanted him to want to chat which is unnecessarily martyrish and in my experience generally never works. He was happy and he will be bewildered that you weren't happy to do the same thing.

Peak MN - having different approaches to passing a long journey = LTB

He should definitely have stopped watching and chatted while eating, but I don’t see anything wrong with watching movies to pass a long trip.

YANBU op! This is definitely rude!

You can’t behave like you are single when going on holiday with someone else!

I can’t believe he didn’t turn off his screen when you were eating dinner either! Does he have no basic manners?

So how is he the rest of the time op? How is your holiday going?

Did you say ‘I’m a bit bored, can we chat for a bit?’

Sounds normal for us, my DH would be plugged in to TV or podcasts and I read books when we travel. Did you try and have a conversation and be ignored you, because that would be different!

Did you tell.him that? I wouldn't want to be with a friend or partner that didn't talk to me at all for 7 hours.

How did you not talk about this first?

I always do a dp on flights and would expect to do the same for a long train journey.

What did you bring to do? There is noone I'd want to talk to for 7 hours straight!

Yes I asked several times if we could just chat for a bit. Or if I did ask him something he would take his ear bud out and hold it ready to put it straight back in.

I don't know about your DH but I tend to retreat into myself on long journeys and can't be bothered chatting. Thankfully DH is the same so we are happy to pass the time in our own pursuits exchanging the odd word or two here and there. It's a strategy to combat the boredom. You and your DH have different travel strategies.

seems totally unfriendly to me

maybe he was looking forward to a decent amount of down time to realx pre-holiday and catch up with something he was looking forward to watching, perfectly reasonable to not want to make inconsequential small talk. Let people be OP.

this is not a man who likes you

you deserve better than this

Why would talking to your partner be ‘inconsequential small talk?’

He should have stopped watching while you ate, but otherwise I'd be the same to be honest. People that talk a lot on public transport is partly why I bring earbuds, though. So while I understand understand you, I get him too.

There are not ‘nice meals’ on UK trains!

DP was rude.

My DH goes into a funny zone when he travels and at some other times (eg spectating at events) and could quite easily plug in for that long and enjoy it. He also feels self conscious having long conversations on the train or plane. If DC or I want interaction from him on any kind of long journey (one of the DC is talkative, as am I) we explain that in advance and try to make a plan that works for all 😆

He wouldn’t continue watching while eating or ignore my requests to chat for a bit.

@NoisyLittleOtter let’s ask OP what she wanted to chat about?

ETA ‘chit-chat’ means inconsequential

Same.

I’m on constant alert at home and get talked at. Car journeys are DH listening to an audio book and I have my headphones in on low while managing the kids. If I’m on the train with just DH, we’re not making small talk. We’re leaning against each other doing our own thing.

Holidays are a break for both of us. We may do a bit of chat, but it is less than 5% of a journeys. Plus, headphones keep the rest of the train chatter out because from experience there is always a few people who don’t know their own volume even in the quiet zone.

My family and in-laws are the same way when we have been on the train. We do a tiny bit of chat in the beginning but most of it is everyone doing their own thing. Scrolling, taking a nap, listening to something. Never talking for hours.

Very rude and selfish.

On a long journey I would expect to chat for a bit, snooze for a bit and read/watch tv for a bit.

I wouldn’t expect to be ignored by my travelling companion for 7 hours straight.

YANBU

I hate chatting on public transport beyond functional necessary information.

Don't know why just feel very exposed and also conscious of not disturbing others.

Well, I think it depends on what works for you both. My partner and I would chat for a bit on and off, I would read and he would scroll through social media. I don't think we'd chat the whole way as that would be annoying for the other passengers.

The important thing though is that you be able to express what you feel and need and be heard by him.

Now, when I go on trips with my girlfriends we would definitely be chatting the whole way (and possibly annoying the other passengers!).

We have that for times we plan a long train journey and share a tv show. But generally we prefer sitting opposite so we can intermingle legs freely (both tall) and plan our own entertainment.