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AIBU?

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My sisters have never seen my 3 year old daughter

31 replies

mummyloveslucy · 03/06/2008 12:18

When I was a baby my parents devorced and my Mum re married a lovely man who raised me ashis own. I've always stayed in contact with my real Dad and used to see him every week. He re married when I was 5 to a woman who has always been very jelous of me but I've always got along with her for Dads sake. They have 2 daughters who I have always adored.
I got married 5 years ago and my real Dad gave me away (at the request of my step Dad). My sisters were bridesmaids and my dads wife was made to feel very welcome.
2 years later my daughter was born. I envited them all around for a meal and to meet the new baby. Which was hard work with a baby of 2 days old!. When the doorbell rang I went to greet them and it was only my Dad. He had exuses ready for everyone else. I just thought oh well, the'll see her soon but they never did. She is 3.5 now and they have never seen her. I haven't seen them either. We like in the same town. At first I kept trying to get them to ome over then as time past I thought sod it, they can come if they like and if they don't it's up to them. My Dad has seen her a handfull of times but hasn't for a year now. I'm just not sure what I've done wrong. It seems a strange situation, I just don't know what to make of it.

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Chocolateteapot · 05/06/2008 12:29

You have my sympathy. We have a weird situation with DH's family. His parents went to live in Spain when he was 16, so they weren't around. He is the youngest of 4, the other 3 are a fair bit older and all have grown up children (who I have met two out of six in the 12 years I have known DH).

We never see any of them. MIL recently died after a long fight against cancer and I tried hard to get them all together at one point early on but no one would commit to meeting up. They have seen (apart from one BIL who I've never met) DD (she's 9.5) at her christening and never met DS who is 5 in September. They are a couple of hours away and I've suggested meeting up half way, everyone makes interested noises but it never happens.

DH tried the other week at his Mum's funeral to get them all together back in the UK and again failed miserably. I feel very sorry for him, he is really lovely and his family are completely barking. They haven't fallen out, they just don't see each other. His Dad (in his 80's) is showing no sign of coming back to the UK for a holiday.

My DD is old enough to realise it is all very strange but I've just explained to her that is the way it is and there is nothing much we can do about it. I personally feel that you get to the stage where if nothing happens despite your best efforts, then you just have to move on.

mummyloveslucy · 05/06/2008 18:50

Yes definatly. It's good to know that others have experienced simillar situations to me, families can be really strange.
It has just made me more determined to keep our family together. We have a lovely extended family and we are all very close.
Lucy will grow up in a secure loving family and that is somthing to be treasured.

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Kimi · 05/06/2008 19:16

Is your lovely baby the first grandchild? Could it be a bit of the green eyed monster on your step mums part?

It is their loss not to be involved.

Call your dad and ask him to come for a chat to see if he can explain what is going on

WowOoo · 05/06/2008 19:22

Too right MummyLovesLucy !
Yes, take lots of this good advice.
Feel so angry and sad that your dad and sisters can't make the bloody effort. x

GrapefruitMoon · 05/06/2008 19:27

Why not send your sisters a photo of your dd and put a note in to say she would love to meet them?

It sounds a bit odd that they came to your wedding but are distant now - what were they like between your wedding and your dd being born? is it possible they took a dislike to your dh or someone in his family for some reason?

mummyloveslucy · 05/06/2008 19:40

They were still speeking to me after the wedding, in fact they came to our first annaversery party. I was very ill with morning sickness then and ended up going in to hospital the next day and Dad and the older sister came to visit me.
It's all a bit strange though isn't it.
Thank you everyone for the sound advice. The photo idea is good. That would leave the ball in their court then. If they don't reply then they can go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

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