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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A wave of illiterate “home schooled” children

994 replies

RedSkyatNight25 · 27/09/2025 06:58

Prepared to get torn apart, and I know many homeschool because the school environment isn’t right for their children (SEN, sensory issues - whatever else) and their needs aren’t met by school with a chronic lack of SEN placements and too much demand etc. I’m not naive to that. I also know some parents with adequate resource will ensure their children have a rounded education whilst being homeschooled.

But there seems to be a movement to homeschooling by people who are simply anti establishment with a point to prove. Their grammar and communication on social media tells me they’re not equipped to homeschool a child. Not least I think the socialisation and soft skills school provides are hugely important too. I suspect most of these parents either haven’t considered the benefits of school or hugely underestimated it, especially past primary are parents really equipped to teach ALL the subjects with sufficient skill if they lack the knowledge themselves? Are they not underestimating the skills and expertise of qualified teachers?

AIBU to think it’s really concerning? These are the next generation of our workforce and infrastructure. I personally think we are hugely privileged to live in a country with free education - I know it’s not perfect but I’m not convinced homeschooling is better for a vast majority.

OP posts:
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verycloakanddaggers · 27/09/2025 14:45

WearyAuldWumman · 27/09/2025 14:34

Yes, this is what I've seen - bright children, but unable to cope with a wider range of people.

But the vast majority of people - whether children or adults - who fit this description bright... but unable to cope with a wider range of people either are in or have been through the school system. Look at the ten most difficult people in your workplace. Nine of them, if not all ten, went to school.

FourIsNewSix · 27/09/2025 14:45

Dogandswansarnie · 27/09/2025 12:02

It seems that way. You see threads on here where parents share quite valid concerns and there will often be poster(s) who just respond “homeschool then if you don’t like it” as though nothing should ever change.

Covid has had some impact too. There was an uptick after lockdown as some kids thrived out of school, for others, the balance of risk to them or their families of covid infections meant they homeschooled, some were off rolled, some struggled with school after lockdown, some have long covid.

I'm aware that MN is more about the outliers than about what works , but it seems that the sentiment of many posters is that schools are some god-like institutions which can't be expected to adapt and parent should shut up and feel blessed, because the school knows better. Actively worshipping the schools' rigidness in the name of preparation for future jobs (and ignoring that jobs are changing).

(Just to be clear, this is nothing against teachers, working with mixed motivation and abilities class is very hard. I just believe that limited set of ground rules leads to better outcomes than a culture of micromanaging every aspect of the pupils' existence)

Iamthemoom · 27/09/2025 14:46

Orwelly · 27/09/2025 14:36

HS candidates will have no chance against candidates with a classic education, both academically and socially. They may struggle meeting new friends or potential partners. There may be more mainstream acceptance of single adults living alone into middle age, and less emphasis on traditional milestones like marriage, kids, etc

I'm oscillating between laughing at this and being horrified at the narrowness of your POV.

My home educated DC all sat GCSE's, did work experience, been members of non-home sports teams and drama/music groups for years and are thriving at college now doing A-Levels, along with most of their HE cohort.

Not all home ed kids have been weaving lentils in a darkened room for the entirety of their childhoods.

Love the weaving lentils line! 🤣🤣🤣🤣Good for you challenging these appallingly ill informed views of home educating. There are so many now in this thread and the worst are from people with absolutely no e irruente of or contact with home educated children. I challenged a few then gave up to spend time with my brilliantly smart, very social, DD who was home educated from 9-16, got 8 GCSE’s at top grades and having gone back to school for sixth form is predicted 3 A stars at A level. She’s off to a party tonight with her friends. No lentil weaving, just dancing, chatting, socialising and talking about their UCAS applications I expect!

verycloakanddaggers · 27/09/2025 14:50

AbbeyGrange · 27/09/2025 14:41

Uniforms and strict rules about looks, fines and prosecution for absences no-one would care about elsewhere

I disagree, it prepares kids for the real world of employment, turning up on time and looking half decent is a life skill which carries on through to the workplace. I don't know any employer who wouldn't care about absences.

Edited

I went to school in the era when uniforms were less strict and no one checked up on attendance. Haven't noticed people my age struggling with the workplace.

Bunnycute23 · 27/09/2025 14:51

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AbbeyGrange · 27/09/2025 14:52

verycloakanddaggers · 27/09/2025 14:50

I went to school in the era when uniforms were less strict and no one checked up on attendance. Haven't noticed people my age struggling with the workplace.

Well good for you but not everyone is like that...some kids will need the structure of routine and uniform

birling16 · 27/09/2025 14:55

Purplebunnie · 27/09/2025 12:24

@Uggbootsforever "Something HAS happened which has made children less flexible, relaxed and happy. "

I think this sums it up. I'm not sure if it's social media, TV, Covid or a combination of all these but children don't seem to be as carefree and happy as I remember my childhood or that of my DC.

We need to identify what the contributing factor/factors is/are and change it

The National Curriculum and undermining professionals. Oh and Payment by Results.

Createausername1970 · 27/09/2025 14:55

PopcornIcecream · 27/09/2025 08:18

Currently it is just a yearly report you have to do. Just written is the bare minimum. La often ask for work samples but majority refuse saying it’s the child’s property and they don’t consent. They can refuse visits too and most do. I was shouted at and told I was causing harm to the home ed community by sending samples and allowing visits . That my compliance would erode their rights . Don’t get me started on being shrieked at about my dc ‘shedding’ after nasal flu vaccine as well I managed to clear the room in seconds and was asked to leave.

I did home school DS for a couple of years during the secondary years and I was happy to see the LA. I don't recall me doing a report though. They asked lots of questions and I showed them the various folders and work books. They then produced a report and said they were satisfied.

I am was aware that some HS families don't want to engage, but I was happy to, it was another line of support.

TheTallgiraffe · 27/09/2025 14:55

Horsie · 27/09/2025 14:10

All well and good, but I still think your daughter is missing out on the school experience - meeting and being with dozens and dozens of children her own age, being part of a community, school/team pride, school drama productions, school trips, forming relationships with authority figures - i.e. the teachers. Some of our teachers were hilarious, really cared about us, and we have fond memories of them many decades on. As for school not being for everyone, well you know what? Work isn't for everyone, it's certainly not for me, but I have to do it anyway, and that's what you call the real world! I sometimes wonder how home educated kids will cope with a work environment, having to turn up every day and put up with people you'd never choose to, etc. Home education is lacking in ways that even the best parent-educators can't make up for, imo.

Yes of course home educated children miss out on the school experience. But schooled children miss out on the home education experience, so.......

Bumblebee72 · 27/09/2025 14:55

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Which college did you go to? Brookes?

verycloakanddaggers · 27/09/2025 14:56

AbbeyGrange · 27/09/2025 14:52

Well good for you but not everyone is like that...some kids will need the structure of routine and uniform

Edited

Yes exactly - some, that's the point isn't it - there isn't one size fits all. That's why school doesn't work for some.

Orwelly · 27/09/2025 14:56

verycloakanddaggers · 27/09/2025 14:45

But the vast majority of people - whether children or adults - who fit this description bright... but unable to cope with a wider range of people either are in or have been through the school system. Look at the ten most difficult people in your workplace. Nine of them, if not all ten, went to school.

That's a very fair point.

birling16 · 27/09/2025 14:56

This reply has been deleted

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Have you got ADHDOCDDYLEXIACBA?

birling16 · 27/09/2025 14:57

Bumblebee72 · 27/09/2025 14:55

Which college did you go to? Brookes?

Ha! Brookes, Classic.

Bumblebee72 · 27/09/2025 14:57

I think that thinking you can educate your kids to the same level yourself as an entire school of specialist teachers is one of the most arrogant view points you can have.

WearyAuldWumman · 27/09/2025 14:57

verycloakanddaggers · 27/09/2025 14:45

But the vast majority of people - whether children or adults - who fit this description bright... but unable to cope with a wider range of people either are in or have been through the school system. Look at the ten most difficult people in your workplace. Nine of them, if not all ten, went to school.

I'm aware that I'm socially inept. ASD runs in my family and it's possibly the explanation for my difficulties. However, I forced myself to cope with a wider range of people at school - my endgame being to be the first woman in my family to get to uni - and also in the workplace.

The young home educated people that I know have had a carefully curated range of experiences. They're lovely people, but they're lacking in the resilience that they need to navigate the world to the extent that they've been unable to access further education.

Their mothers have taken helicopter parenting to the Nth degree and I find myself wondering whether home education was used to benefit the children or the mothers.

When one of the girls expressed her regret that she hadn't attended school before the age of 16, I felt so sorry for her.

And yes - I know the downsides of school and mixing with different people. My first 2 yrs of secondary school were extremely rough and we do need to improve our schools.

NettleandBramble · 27/09/2025 14:59

Horsie · 27/09/2025 14:04

I think it's crackers that children aren't legally required to take GCSEs.

I don't see how the government can say that children must have a full-time, age-appropriate education but have no benchmark for that. It makes the requirement meaningless.

And you may be able to get away with not making your children take any exams, but the worlds of higher education and employment requires them, so...Imagine trying to apply for a job or a course without having taken GCSEs! Then there's the fact that this lackadaisical approach is a golden opportunity for parents who want to abuse their children. Seems that it would be very easy for a parent to deny their child any education at all, out of malice.

I think parents do need to explore and understand what it's likely to look like for their child post 16.

If their child will want to go to college, they will need GCSEs in those subjects. There are vocational subjects that are easier to access - there have to be since the school pass rate is so low. The difficulty arises if you have an academic child who hasn't got the GCSEs and is not suited to more vocational subjects.

I'm curious about what people think is an average price to sit a GCSE exam as a private candidate.

birling16 · 27/09/2025 15:03

verycloakanddaggers · 27/09/2025 13:16

About half a century ago, kids playing entirely unsupervised (including on building sites, railways, in rivers etc), playing roughly, teasing, fighting or even hurting animals was seen as par for the course.
Was it really a utopia of perfecr behaviour in the good old days? Borstals were pretty full.

I was that child , although I didn't hurt animals.

Perhaps that's why I see children at my local Primary out in all weathers in zip up suits poking about with nature. Good for them.

Bunnycute23 · 27/09/2025 15:04

4 dem asking, I vent to Baliol. Did PPE. Like da Boz and dat.

birling16 · 27/09/2025 15:05

I went Baliol surely?

Bunnycute23 · 27/09/2025 15:06

birling16 · 27/09/2025 15:05

I went Baliol surely?

Yeah. Innit.

RedSkyatNight25 · 27/09/2025 15:06

Bumblebee72 · 27/09/2025 14:57

I think that thinking you can educate your kids to the same level yourself as an entire school of specialist teachers is one of the most arrogant view points you can have.

This is definitely the attitude of the those people I am speaking about.

Caveat to say, I know there’s shit teachers and shit schools.

OP posts:
namechangedohmy · 27/09/2025 15:09

My friend has chosen to home school for anti establishment reasons. She is degree educated and highly intelligent but woefully out of her depth. Barely covering the basics

verycloakanddaggers · 27/09/2025 15:11

birling16 · 27/09/2025 15:03

I was that child , although I didn't hurt animals.

Perhaps that's why I see children at my local Primary out in all weathers in zip up suits poking about with nature. Good for them.

You teased others and fought with them, and your parents let you play unsupervised on building sites? Obviously sorry you had a difficult childhood.

Orwelly · 27/09/2025 15:13

Bumblebee72 · 27/09/2025 14:57

I think that thinking you can educate your kids to the same level yourself as an entire school of specialist teachers is one of the most arrogant view points you can have.

I haven't met a home educator who thought that they could.