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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A wave of illiterate “home schooled” children

994 replies

RedSkyatNight25 · 27/09/2025 06:58

Prepared to get torn apart, and I know many homeschool because the school environment isn’t right for their children (SEN, sensory issues - whatever else) and their needs aren’t met by school with a chronic lack of SEN placements and too much demand etc. I’m not naive to that. I also know some parents with adequate resource will ensure their children have a rounded education whilst being homeschooled.

But there seems to be a movement to homeschooling by people who are simply anti establishment with a point to prove. Their grammar and communication on social media tells me they’re not equipped to homeschool a child. Not least I think the socialisation and soft skills school provides are hugely important too. I suspect most of these parents either haven’t considered the benefits of school or hugely underestimated it, especially past primary are parents really equipped to teach ALL the subjects with sufficient skill if they lack the knowledge themselves? Are they not underestimating the skills and expertise of qualified teachers?

AIBU to think it’s really concerning? These are the next generation of our workforce and infrastructure. I personally think we are hugely privileged to live in a country with free education - I know it’s not perfect but I’m not convinced homeschooling is better for a vast majority.

OP posts:
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usedtobeaylis · 27/09/2025 09:45

leakycauldron · 27/09/2025 09:32

We don't home school dd 9 as I can't even get her to do homework. But I do understand why people do.

Schools are built for your average ability, or higher child. That can follow rules that make little no sense and dehumanise the kids.

If your kid doesn't "get it" when the curriculum says they should, then tough. Oh you need extra support or it explained a different way. Then forget it.
Oh you need the toilet forget it. You may only go at the pre determined time we have set.
Oh you're not learning because of the kids causing constant disruptions, disruptions so bad you all have to be declassed for your own safety. So students who actually want to learn can't.

The system is broken and instead of doing what is needed to fix it the government cut the budgets to the bone and make it so that all schools care about is exam results.

Yes homeschooling is not always the best option. But neither is school.

When average ability, typically mainstream children are also struggling in a system ostensibly built for that particular cohort, you know the goose is cooked.

Dolphinnoises · 27/09/2025 09:46

BadgernTheGarden · 27/09/2025 08:19

On the other hand what happens behind closed doors when children are rarely or never seen in public?

I think that if you are reasonably well educated teaching a child up to GCSE should be possible, but whether I would be able to face it day after day on top of being the mum (and probably having to work as well). It was hard enough supervising and helping with homework, I would have been tearing my hair out doing it all day.

I'm sure 'one to one' teaching (preferably in a social school type setting) is best for every child, but it needs to be competent teaching and the teacher needs some sort of authority if any progress is to be made. I wonder how many parents are really capable, mentally or emotionally.

I couldn’t teach DD every GCSE subject she’s chosen. Her choices are very different to mine. Even maths, which I got an A in at GCSE, is variable - I got the hang of quadratic equations after 15 minutes to myself to remind myself - but circle theorems do my head in - I am sure we never did them. I remember most things but have no memory of them! We got a tutor at that point.

And that’s a subject I did well at - most of my choices were arts based and DD is more science. 80% of the time I can stay ahead of her with a couple of bitesize videos but that’s not good enough. Mercifully she is at online school so it’s ok I’m only just about good enough.

stichguru · 27/09/2025 09:47

The bottom line is here that yes, of course, there are parents who take their kids out and do sod all to educate them. There are parents who know home education is a thing, so at the first sign that little Jonny isn't loving every minute of school, take him away from the bad teachers, that make him unhappy and basically do sod all with him.

However there are also MANY children whose try and whose parents try, their very level best to make a traditional education work for them and they still fall apart. Home education is needed as an option for the many children who the system fails and until we burn the system down and rebuild it bottom up, that will always be a fact.

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/09/2025 09:52

stichguru · 27/09/2025 09:47

The bottom line is here that yes, of course, there are parents who take their kids out and do sod all to educate them. There are parents who know home education is a thing, so at the first sign that little Jonny isn't loving every minute of school, take him away from the bad teachers, that make him unhappy and basically do sod all with him.

However there are also MANY children whose try and whose parents try, their very level best to make a traditional education work for them and they still fall apart. Home education is needed as an option for the many children who the system fails and until we burn the system down and rebuild it bottom up, that will always be a fact.

Of course and I don’t see anyone arguing against this.

But what is profoundly worrying is that the system seems to have no safeguards that allows it to determine whether parents are meeting the educational needs of the child once he or she is deregistered.

MrsCompayson · 27/09/2025 09:52

YABU, don't home educate your children if you don't agree with it. It's really that simple.

Your concerned paternal attitude reeks of judgment and snobbery.

What's your motivation in posting this?

My daughter was home educated, all 9,8,7 grades at GCSE, both parents graduates, dad a teacher, she's now in collage and really enjoying it. The collage is quite unique, they are all very smart kids, no issues with behaviour or anything like that,trips all the time, fun afternoons playing sports, making things. They are well funded and linked to the local University. She's hoping to go to Oxford to study Maths/Physics.

We are pleased for her, but so what? Anecdotes are pointless in conversations like this. They are limited snapshots of situations and people should understand that it's more complex. Alot of comments seem to be based on vaguely knowing of people in the area or being a teacher. The examples here are, lovely family down the road, chickens, wellies, baking pies, but can't read? How do you know?

And teachers commenting on how many kids have left school to home ed and having no way of determining if they are happy and thriving but commenting negatively anyway.

Fern95 · 27/09/2025 09:54

Britanniarulesthewaves · 27/09/2025 07:18

There is a massive issue of educational neglect within home education. There are some that do it properly but those who do are aware of the issues.
There’s a culture of it within that community, and people who do formal education are often shunned/ judged poorly. You’re sneered at for doing ‘school at home’. You’re setting your child up to fail. Their child will be a free spirit and be the manager / owner of their own business with many employees failed by the school system and those weird people who do formal home education. They’ll lead the sheep basically. It’s a delusional echo chamber.

I’d love to see it required everyone submits a report every year, a portfolio of work (many do lie on reports), and some sort of system that can externally check a child is making progress. There are states in America that have a few different ways of doing this, some testing every year in maths/ English to ensure progress.

Edited

This is actually what the LA ask for. You have to submit a report once per year or have a home visit and they request photos and samples. Why have you not looked this up before talking about home education?

GagMeWithASpoon · 27/09/2025 09:54

LittleYellowQueen · 27/09/2025 09:33

The numbers of home ed parents who are genuinely illiterate and doing home ed only through mistrusting the system, and without any bad experiences of school must be vanishingly tiny, despite everyone on Mumsnet apparently knowing lots of them. Op says it's not about parents choosing to HE because of lack of SEN Support, but i rather think it could be.

If i knew then what i knew now, i would have deregistered when my kids ebsa first started, before it destroyed mine and my kids mental health and i would have joined the cohort of parents who are not equipped to HE but doing so because of "the system." The government are talking about cutting support for EHCPs so only the most affected children will be able to get one. That means there will be very large numbers of SEN children who will find it almost impossible to get any support. Where do they go then? Home ed.

I am fairly intelligent and well educated, and i have been through the horrific fight of trying to get "support" from a school and local authority for my child's EBSA, (plot twist, there is no support) i can see how an "illiterate" parent would be forced to remove their child from school and home educate, no matter how ill equipped, because of a lack of support.

Parents might not know know their child has SEN, especially if they have SEN themselves. They might just know their child doesn't fit neatly in school. They might not know how to complain or seek support, or might not have insight into their child's needs and what help they might need, much less how to go about forcing a school to provide it. (There's actually no way for a parent to force a school to provide support that their child is legally entitled to without going through the complaint processes and tribunal which could take the best part of a school year. Even then it doesn't guarantee support). Those children have to go somewhere.

What's worse, a parent who isn't very educated and might not do a good job of HE, or a child who is being destroyed by their experience at school and may be suicidal? Anyone tried to get help from CAMHS recently? Nothing there either.

Until you've been through it, you wouldn't actually believe how soul and mental health destroying it is. It's made me suicidal. There is NO help. The system is designed to crush children and their parents. Something like 98% of refusal to assess for EHCP get overturned at tribunal. Schools can just say no to proving SEN Support. Nobody will make them. Local authorities refuse to assess as a baseline and wait and see which parents have the ability, time, and capacity to fight on. That's thousands of families who are forced to go to a tribunal , which is a terrifying prospect for most people, to get their child the support they were always legally entitled to. Thousands and thousands of children left without support. I feel like I've seen behind the curtain, and so parents who chose to home ed citing "the system" for children with any additional needs actually have it right. Do you know what it's like to have your child say they'd rather die than go to school? And when you report that to school, everyone just shrugs and says "drag them in?" If you give up, you deregister and they get to tick a little box that says "parents choose to hone educate".

It's very very easy to believe that a parent who doesnt have the ability or capacity to deal with the widespread discrimination, fines, and gaslighting might just take their child out of school because of "the system" and "the government" which might make them sound like a conspiracy theorist, but it could actually just be a parent that can't take any more of the parent blaming, threats of fines, and the gaslighting that are a default for parents of children who are struggling with school.

There were some parents at my child's school that were going through the same as us but they said they didn't even know where to start making a complaint so they were just plodding along until eventually they'll be forced to home ed because there are no other options for parents who don't know how to fight, or don't have the energy for the fight anymore. They're no more equipped to educate their child than i am, but while i would know exactly why i was being forced into that position because I've been through every complaint process with the school and LA, and i know how badly we've been failed, those other parents , illiterate or not, wouldn't know why so they might just say "the system".

My point is, the op is about illiterate parents taking their children out of school because of the system or the government even though they might not actually be equipped to home ed. They might not actually be crazy. But they might not have the knowledge to put into words exactly why they are right. It is the system. And how would you know what those families have been put through, or have seen others be put through unless you ask them all individually?

If you or your child sailed through school with no issues, please take a minute to think about how unusual and how lucky you are.

In my eyes that’s the real scandal. So many Parents and children who would be happy to engage with some form of formal schooling , but instead they’re pushed out because there’s no , at least adequate , provision. That’s what should be sorted first .

Holliegee · 27/09/2025 09:54

I’m probably coming from a really odd angle in that I DID homeschool my 3 sons, 2 of them only for short periods (a year or 2) and the youngest until he was 12.
My ex was v anti establishment and I now see he used his beliefs to make me believe I was doing my sons a dis service if I didn’t home educate (he contributed nothing towards their education) whilst I as a nursery nurse,had had good experiences at school and had hoped school life would be part of my life as a mother with PTA etc.
My sons were I think, successfully home educated and have gone on into good jobs (2 of them went on to uni) but I think it’s because I taught them to a school standard - and when they entered the school they were on a par with their peers and didn’t struggle or stand out.
lots of people who home school don’t follow that structure or are unable to and so we have children who would never ‘survive’ a school routine - we could argue that these children need extra support are superior in intelligence,lack social skills or cannot cope in mainstream education without provision and many of these families home ed as a last resort - but, if you have children who can cope with school then I think you are ‘robbing’ them of more than an education by not sending them to school - it’s so much more than education.
A part of me that doesn’t want to
outright accuse anyone of this fears that for many home schooled children it’s because parents don’t want to fit into a routine that requires a certain outfit, a time schedule and commitment but instead to freewheel their way through education carefree and without structure.
My worry is the future are these home educated children going to be able to fit into the ‘norm’ of society as adults themselves and build a life that’s sustainable.

LittleYellowQueen · 27/09/2025 09:55

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/09/2025 09:36

@spoonbillstretford

Unfortunately, the penny is only just dropping in socisty on how dangerously bad state secondary education has become and how little support there is for any child or parent who cannot manage within it, and how hardly any local authorities meet the requirement to provide alternative provision.

I completely agree: this is an absolute scandal and clearly at crisis point. And its a crucial driver among those parents who have been let down by the current system. It urgently needs addressing.

But that in itself doesn’t justify the “one size fits all” approach to allowing people to deregister their children.

The system has such a limited capacity to discriminate between these two categories of parents; those taking control of education out of necessity and those taking advantage of loopholes because they don’t care.

Its shockingly easy to simply opt out of formal education without any scrutiny of the quality of education being provided.

A supposedly advanced democracy which prides itself on mandating education for all children should not be allowing these children’s own parents to fail them like this.

My child was out of school for 6 months due to EBSA. School did nothing except pile on the blame. I tried to notify the LA of their section 19 responsibility to ensure my child got an education, they didn't care. At all.

They need to sort that out first before looking at elective home edders. You say it's shockingly easy to opt out of education with no oversight - It's shockingly easy for schools and LAs to opt out of educating children with additional needs. The government shouldn't be allowing this, but they are.

The irony is that, because there IS oversight of home educators, if i had de-registered, the local authority would have been beating down my door within a couple of weeks demanding to know what education my child was getting as it's vitally important - when it was their responsibility, it didn't seem to be important at all - they literally couldn't give any less of a shit that he was recieving no education at all.

There are far, far bigger problems in the utterly broken education system than the tiny number of elective home educators who might not be doing a great job of it.

dottiedodah · 27/09/2025 09:57

I think the education system in this country is woefully inadequate . There is a one size fits all which doesnt work More needs to be invested .Every day there are children unhappy and Schools resemble prisons in some cases .Its little surprise then that more people are taking this route

MintTwirl · 27/09/2025 09:59

Fern95 · 27/09/2025 09:54

This is actually what the LA ask for. You have to submit a report once per year or have a home visit and they request photos and samples. Why have you not looked this up before talking about home education?

No you don’t. There is no requirement for home educators to share photos or examples of work with the LA. Parents are usually advised to send a written report which is very easy to make up if you choose to do so.
Then there are home educators who have never had any contact from the LA.

RedSkyatNight25 · 27/09/2025 09:59

Sprookjesbos · 27/09/2025 09:29

There's an absolutely lovely family down the road from my mum who homeschool. 3 kids, live in the countryside, screen free. Raise chickens and sheep. They are delightful, well-loved children and I think they have a wonderful life. I regularly feel a bit crap when I see the life they have as one of my children hates school and would swap in a heartbeat. The reality is though, none of them can read to a reasonable standard. The 10 year old cannot read independently at all but loves being read to. The kids always make lovely thank you cards for gifts etc but the standard of spelling and writing is so low, think 10 year old writing at reception level. These are bright, very articulate children and as a teacher myself I do worry about them, I know they wouldn't cope in school at this point. There has to be a balance or some kind of oversight, in my mind.

A lot of the problem is there's no respect at all for teachers in our society and parents think anyone can do it.

My kids have chickens and animals. We have a small holding. They can enjoy all of that AND go to school. I think that’s what’s so important to acknowledge you can have both, and both add value to your life. Ironically my 6 year old absolutely loves visiting the city and would love to move to one!

OP posts:
Fern95 · 27/09/2025 10:01

MintTwirl · 27/09/2025 09:59

No you don’t. There is no requirement for home educators to share photos or examples of work with the LA. Parents are usually advised to send a written report which is very easy to make up if you choose to do so.
Then there are home educators who have never had any contact from the LA.

We home ed our 6 year old. There is a massive pressure to provide photos and samples along with a report even though they are not legally required.

Jk987 · 27/09/2025 10:01

How can unqualified parents be as good as trained teachers? How can you teach your child if you’re also working?

SomethingFun · 27/09/2025 10:02

I don’t see how anyone can home educate well without a full time highly educated sahp and enough additional money to pay for tutors and experiences to plug in the gaps. I don’t think the 1% of dc being home educated will be getting this at all. The lack of provision for dc with sen is a disgrace.

Nelly91 · 27/09/2025 10:03

I home Ed my soon who has SEND. It was the last resort for us after three years of pure hell in the school system. My boy is 7 and came out of school with the reading age of 4 year 11 months. Within a few months he was reading books. He just couldn’t access the learning at school but he’s not stupid. His attendance was so poor towards the end, I used to take him dressed in his PJ’s still. We ended up seeing a Ed psyc who advised us he shouldn’t be in main stream school and this would lead to a breakdown soon, he repeatedly talked about suicide. We had no EHCP in place and still don’t, something I need to work on. We felt we had no choice but to pull our boy out but we tried for three years. I don’t know what the future will hold but home Ed has at least allowed him to be happy. We are on a two year waiting list for a SEND school so we have fallen into a grey area. For some it’s just the only option left, not something I ever wanted to do!

Leftrightmiddle · 27/09/2025 10:03

Dolphinnoises · 27/09/2025 08:11

Technically we’re elective home education (my autistic DD goes to an excellent online school) so we get all the stuff through and I’m on a few home Ed Facebook groups. I find them useful as for example there are sports groups which offer classes in school hours, although we can only make the ones which fit around DD’s live lessons.

I actually don’t disagree with you at all. I find the refusal to let the LA carry out basic safeguarding irresponsible on a community level. I’ve no doubt in our area that these kids are actually progressing but the parents make it a point of honour to tell the LA NOTHING because it’s NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. Meanwhile another Sara Sharif falls under the radar.

That said, if any of the parents (like us) are seeking EHCPs for their children (and to be clear, I believe the best place for DD would have been the local special school) then trust goes two ways and the local authority behaves disgracefully. Obfuscating, gaslighting, disingenuous… I could go on). So there’s that.

Recently the LA invited HE parents to a coffee morning and the Facebook groups were very shrill “Do not go! Do not engage! If you go you do not have to answer questions about your children and under no circumstances talk about any child that is not your own!”. Kids do have the right to an education. That might be a home education but as mentioned upstream, our local traveller population all “home educate” after Primary and no one believes that’s actually happening, but there’s a bit of a tinder box situation where no one wants to confront anyone about it.

Edited

You do realize that Sara Sharif was known to social services as at risk before she was even born, you do realize that for most of her life she was in school and that despite concerns being raised by school, people in the community and despite social services involvement throughout her whole life. The professionals decided home was safe.
They did deregister to home Ed just before she was killed but when this happens the school have to submit paperwork starting family are moving to home Ed and on that paperwork they are meant to highlight any concerns about this which as the school had already made several reports to social services I expect they also highlighted concerns on this paperwork.

Sara wasn't killed because her parents home educated she was killed because despite many opportunities to remove her from a dangerous situation the services who job it is to monitor and take action decided she was not at risk and left her in a high risk and dangerous environment

spoonbillstretford · 27/09/2025 10:04

Branleuse · 27/09/2025 09:45

Theres a growing number of children who are home educated because they have not been able to manage the school demands and schools cannot meet the additional needs of a lot of chilkdren. They are forced out.
Most people , even the illiterate anti establishment ones, send their kids to school when they are little. There is usually a lot of factors that contribute towards placements breaking down and relationships between schools and parents break down.
The parents dont have the resources or capability and often dont have the time to give the children what they need, and yet the school system is damaging them, and the authorities might be on their backs. They are often battling their own difficulties and undiagnosed needs. Dealing with it all can actually be traumatic. I think some of you really have no idea what its like now.

Absolutely there are uneducated children that get to adulthood without being able to read, as there always have been.

Its not as if every child is capable of reading and writing, and there are too many children in inappropriate educational settings that are set up to fail, and then people are surprised when it all fails.
Major investment in our state schools is needed. Major investment in SEN. Social work. The whole thing is fucked.

Dealing with it all can actually be traumatic. I think some of you really have no idea what its like now.

Indeed, great post. DD2 was taken out of school in Y10, an extremely difficult decision, and studied for, sat, and passed GCSEs as a private candidate. Her attendance at primary school was very good, but she had extreme anxiety and repeated autistic burnout from trying so hard to attend secondary school from Y7 to Y10, but never really coping with it and having poor attendance.

She is now attending FE college and has a part time job. So far (touch wood, and anything else which may help) she has not missed any college or work. I'm so proud of her and amazed.

However, when she is a little slow to get going some mornings, I'm having flashbacks from her being in bed all day and hardly moving, or trying to get ready for school and freezing, or having a full on panic attack at home, at school or on the way to school, and I still feel the trauma of it. Obviously I'm not showing DD2 any of this, but it really lingers, and her being in college has triggered this off for me.

MintTwirl · 27/09/2025 10:05

Fern95 · 27/09/2025 10:01

We home ed our 6 year old. There is a massive pressure to provide photos and samples along with a report even though they are not legally required.

Yes, you have literally just agreed with what I said, there is no legal requirement to provide those things. You can say no to providing those and that is the advice given on the majority of large home education groups.

GagMeWithASpoon · 27/09/2025 10:05

Fern95 · 27/09/2025 09:54

This is actually what the LA ask for. You have to submit a report once per year or have a home visit and they request photos and samples. Why have you not looked this up before talking about home education?

Except there’s no actual legal obligation from parents to comply and the LA has no power to push them. Sure , there are some procedures to follow if they suspect things aren’t going well, but it’s a lengthy process and it relies on the LA being aware of the child being EHE , tracking the child, actually following protocol, asking for the evidence , going through the process and so on. A lot of the time it simply doesn’t happen, or a parent written report once a year is satisfactory.

RJimLad · 27/09/2025 10:08

I've come into contact with many illiterate people who attended school for 11 years.

I have looked through countless job applications. None of the candidates have been home educated but I'd say 50-75% of those applications have multiple errors and/or poor spelling/grammar.

My kids mostly went to school but I taught them to read and write BEFORE they even started school. Much of my children's practical education/life skills have come from their parents.

The large part of what they've learnt in school, they don't remember. However, they remember the sex education, manners, kindness, humanity, how to handle situations, reading, writing, typing skills, maths, household tasks and cooking skills have come from us, their parents.

They've still got good exam passes but if you asked them to tell us what they'd learnt from studying most of those subjects (apart from English, Maths and Science), they'd struggle to tell me.

Unpaidviewer · 27/09/2025 10:08

I'm very pro homeschooling. It isn't because I don't respect teachers. But that I think the school system here is failing so many pupils and parents should have options. The schools in my hometown have negative progress scores and under 20 percent of pupils pass 5 GCSEs. The behaviour in those schools is terrible and there are problems with drugs. 1 doesn't have a science teacher. Why should people just accept this crap?

I've never met one of these anti-establishment, illiterate, cant be arsed and puts their kids in front of youtube all day families. But I have met 2 wonderful families who homeschool. Their children are well spoken, well read and very motivated. The difference between those children and my cousins child who seems to spend most of their time in school posting on tiktok and failed their mocks is stark.

Fern95 · 27/09/2025 10:08

MintTwirl · 27/09/2025 10:05

Yes, you have literally just agreed with what I said, there is no legal requirement to provide those things. You can say no to providing those and that is the advice given on the majority of large home education groups.

Edited

If you say no to photos and samples they threaten you with a school attendance order and make you place your child in a school of their choice. It's not a legal requirement but you don't have a choice depending on which LA you have because the other choice is school. Most parents I know just give in and send photos/work.

orangejacketlamp · 27/09/2025 10:08

when you look at the crux of the homeschool movement and compare it with the astonishing influx of SEN children it’s easy to see that this isn’t an education issue it’s a parenting issue. The parents that homeschool are the parents who don’t parent, they are their kids best friends. Never want to upset them, never want them to do something uncomfortable even once. They have children with zero adaptability, zero resilience and zero life experience. So when they go into a formal setting like school the children start with their “SEN” symptoms and can’t cope. it’s a parenting issue. but no one wants to talk about it. Just blame school, blame the NHS, blame the government.

spoonbillstretford · 27/09/2025 10:11

GagMeWithASpoon · 27/09/2025 10:05

Except there’s no actual legal obligation from parents to comply and the LA has no power to push them. Sure , there are some procedures to follow if they suspect things aren’t going well, but it’s a lengthy process and it relies on the LA being aware of the child being EHE , tracking the child, actually following protocol, asking for the evidence , going through the process and so on. A lot of the time it simply doesn’t happen, or a parent written report once a year is satisfactory.

No and some don't even check when they seem the child is basically ok and low risk.

When I took DD2 out of school finally in Y10, the LA did check, by email, and I wrote them a report of what we were doing and planning to do, and they were happy with that.

They said they would come back to us in Y11 and never followed up. Quite tempted to email them an update now she's in Y12 🙂.

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