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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman stepped out in front of my car

154 replies

User5306921 · 27/09/2025 00:15

I was driving on a relatively busy road. I was going straight but there was a right turn ahead of me.
The traffic going in the opposite direction was at a standstill.

I noticed a woman with her head in her phone, standing at the edge of the footpath.

I'm not sure why, probably the way she was too close to the edge of the path, but I slowed down a bit, I was doing maybe 20 miles under the limit on the road.

The woman literally stepped out on the road right in front of my car. I braked suddenly, thankfully didn't hit her, and she continued walking across, head down, still looking at her phone.

I got an awful shock. The car going in the opposite direction (who had stopped in the traffic jam) threw his hands up in the air. I don't know if he was gesturing at me or at her.

I was so shaken. If I had hit her would my licence be revoked? I don't have dashcam.

Many years ago, I remember my driving instructor telling me to watch out for people on footpaths in case they step out in front of me. I am very watchful when I see elderly people or young kids.

I can't get it out of my mind.

AIBU - It would be my fault if I hit her and I'd lose my licence.
YANBU - This would have been the pedestrian's fault.

OP posts:
Talltreesbythelake · 27/09/2025 09:00

It is scary how many people are posting incorrect information on this thread. If you have a driving licence you should know the Highway code. Pedestrians are not allowed to just walk into a stream of fast traffic and expect it to stop! Don't do this, you will end up squashed.

Digdongdoo · 27/09/2025 09:02

Talltreesbythelake · 27/09/2025 09:00

It is scary how many people are posting incorrect information on this thread. If you have a driving licence you should know the Highway code. Pedestrians are not allowed to just walk into a stream of fast traffic and expect it to stop! Don't do this, you will end up squashed.

No they are not allowed to, but drivers still should drive with appropriate caution and anticipate irrational behavior. OP did this perfectly.

Talltreesbythelake · 27/09/2025 09:03

Digdongdoo · 27/09/2025 09:02

No they are not allowed to, but drivers still should drive with appropriate caution and anticipate irrational behavior. OP did this perfectly.

Show quote history

Well yes, that has already been said.

Claricecannotsleep · 27/09/2025 09:04

You should have sounded your horn to alert her. Otherwise she’s going to keep doing that. Well done for braking and being alert. You did well.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 27/09/2025 09:05

You spotted a hazard and avoided a collision. You're a good driver. Try and hold onto that.

Digdongdoo · 27/09/2025 09:06

Talltreesbythelake · 27/09/2025 09:03

Well yes, that has already been said.

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Lol. Don't start policing how many times things can be said. Mumsnet would collapse.

MrsClatterbuck · 27/09/2025 09:11

TheUsualChaos · 27/09/2025 07:56

The other driver was definitely throwing their hands up in disbelief at the pedestrian, not at you. If they were sat waiting in a queue they would have seen exactly what happened.

Exactly they would have been your witness

MemorableTrenchcoat · 27/09/2025 09:11

PollyBell · 27/09/2025 02:02

Why should a car owner have to a camera because pedestrians dont use the brains they were born with?

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PP merely mentioned that, unless the car is literally headed for the scrap heap, it’s not true that its value is less than that of a dashcam. Your comment is nonsensical.

lessee167 · 27/09/2025 09:13

I watched a runner do this a weeks ago. He spent want to break his pace so just ran across. Two cars had to slam on. There could have been. Horrible accident! Didn’t ruin his marathon training so I suppose that’s all that counts

Echobelly · 27/09/2025 09:14

I always watch carefully any pedestrian on a phone who might attempt to cross in front of me, especiall when turning into a road. It's scary how many cross roads without even looking up.

Similarly, as a pedestrian I never cross in front of a car when the driver is on the phone (which obviously they never should be) unless I have made eye contact with them so I have assurance they've seen me.

AgnesX · 27/09/2025 09:14

FaceBothered · 27/09/2025 00:17

Of course it would've been her fault from what you've said here?

Why wouldn't it be?

Because pedestrians have right of way .....

Onelifeonly · 27/09/2025 09:15

Years back a child I knew (aged 10) was killed outright crossing a road. Investigations proved the driver wasn't exceeding the speed limit so they weren't considered at fault. The council did add speed limiters to the road afterwards though as it was one of those very long, but solely residential, roads.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 27/09/2025 09:17

It wouldn't have been your fault at all. That must have been so frightening :( People are so immersed in their devices these days they have almost no situational awareness.

On the lack of a dashcam, there are quite a few affordable ones on the market. Mine's an old Nextbase. The Black Friday sales in November are good to keep an eye on if you'd like a good dashcam for a reduced price.

saraclara · 27/09/2025 09:17

user1476613140 · 27/09/2025 07:36

It's the pedestrian that has right of way by law.

No it isn't. That only applies in some circumstances, like zebra crossings, and crossing a side street beer a junction.
Neither applied to this event.

Coconutter24 · 27/09/2025 09:25

Do you usually overthink things? You had a near miss, you spotted a potential hazard, you adjusted your driving so you could stop in time and by doing that you prevented hitting the pedestrian. Yes it would have been the pedestrians fault they caused it but in the Highway Code they have the right of way…. But nothing happened forget it and move on with your day

Coconutter24 · 27/09/2025 09:26

saraclara · 27/09/2025 09:17

No it isn't. That only applies in some circumstances, like zebra crossings, and crossing a side street beer a junction.
Neither applied to this event.

Show quote history

And when they have begun to cross the road

Ratafia · 27/09/2025 09:27

User5306921 · 27/09/2025 01:19

Yes I think it would except a dash cam would cost more than the current value of my car.

But much cheaper than the consequences of a conviction for careless driving.

ConflictofInterest · 27/09/2025 09:28

But if you were waiting to cross the road and the car in the lane in front of you slowed down wouldn't you assume they were letting you cross? I don't think car drivers realise how difficult it can be to cross the road. I have to cross four main roads and three side roads and back again every day to get my kids to school and the cars just flow in a constant stream. We have no choice but to walk out when someone slows or there's a slightly larger gap otherwise we'd never get anywhere. As a non-driver I'm also unaware of the highway code so I don't think crying that you were following the rules and they weren't makes a lot of difference. You could clearly see her waiting and you slowed down and had time to think about what she was doing so I don't see how that means it would have been her fault if you had hit her instead of braking. I expect I'm crossing incorrectly, but I am a pedestrian and do this daily so it's sensible to account for other people thinking like me to avoid someone through your windscreen.

Sickoffamilydrama · 27/09/2025 09:59

Your post has made me worried about my 16 year old DD op. She's autistic and manages fine but is still occasionally either misjudging or not looking properly when crossing the road. I've seen her do it and my heart has been in my mouth.

She is with friends today so I've texted her to remind her to cross the road safely.

My uncle was an accident investigator and for something like you've experienced they can tell what happened.

Original poster
User5306921 · 27/09/2025 11:17

ConflictofInterest · 27/09/2025 09:28

But if you were waiting to cross the road and the car in the lane in front of you slowed down wouldn't you assume they were letting you cross? I don't think car drivers realise how difficult it can be to cross the road. I have to cross four main roads and three side roads and back again every day to get my kids to school and the cars just flow in a constant stream. We have no choice but to walk out when someone slows or there's a slightly larger gap otherwise we'd never get anywhere. As a non-driver I'm also unaware of the highway code so I don't think crying that you were following the rules and they weren't makes a lot of difference. You could clearly see her waiting and you slowed down and had time to think about what she was doing so I don't see how that means it would have been her fault if you had hit her instead of braking. I expect I'm crossing incorrectly, but I am a pedestrian and do this daily so it's sensible to account for other people thinking like me to avoid someone through your windscreen.

There are places on the road where its safer to cross. But maybe it is a problem there because they are currently installing a new set of traffic lights a little further on (after the right turn) from where this happened, so maybe this is a frequent occurrence and I've just been lucky enough not to have this happen before.

I didn't know she was going to cross. She literally did not look up from her phone. She was standing near the edge of the path looking at her phone and stepped out, crossed in front of me and never turned her head or looked up.
I noticed her because she was near the edge of the path only.
I slowed down a little because of this but still had to jam on the brakes.
There wasn't enough distance between my car and where she was so if she had looked up, she'd have known there was no time for me to safely slow down sufficiently for her to cross safely.

I didn't realise dash cams were so cheap. I thought they had to be fitted inside your car so I will look into these.

And yes I definitely overthink things. A few months ago, on the same road, I pulled up at red traffic lights and somebody drove into my car. He said he just wasn't thinking.

I drive because its a necessity but I've never liked driving.

OP posts:
Bobiverse · 27/09/2025 11:23

user1476613140 · 27/09/2025 07:36

It's the pedestrian that has right of way by law.

You need to read the Highway Code again. It is not. Not in this situation. Pedestrians do not have priority when crossing a straight road while a car is proceeding down that road.

Bobiverse · 27/09/2025 11:24

AgnesX · 27/09/2025 09:14

Because pedestrians have right of way .....

Show quote history

No, they do not. Not crossing a straight road. You cannot just walk out onto the road and expect cars to slam in their brakes. You do not have priority to cross a straight road with cars proceeding along it.

You only have priority at a pedestrian crossing or when crossing at a side road and the car is approaching to turn at that junction, that’s when cars have to stop for pedestrians. We do not need to stop for pedestrians waiting to cross a straight road.

Bobiverse · 27/09/2025 11:27

Coconutter24 · 27/09/2025 09:26

And when they have begun to cross the road

Show quote history

Well, obviously if a pedestrian steps out in front of you then you have to try and stop. Or if you’re driving and see a pedestrian in the road ahead then you have to stop. You can’t just hit them. But it doesn’t give them priority. If a pedestrian literally steps in front of your car and the laws of physics mean that you cannot stop in time, it is not your fault. They don’t have the right to cross in front of you.

You do everything you can to avoid them when they break the law and cross in front of you, but if you hit them and there as no reasonable way for you to avoid them, then it is not your fault.

Original poster
User5306921 · 27/09/2025 11:34

I was driving on the same road earlier today. I really thankful it didn't happen in a month or two when the evenings are dark because I would not have seen her.

OP posts:
latetothefisting · 27/09/2025 11:40

Would have been her fault.
You would have had at least 2 witnesses (your older dc and the man in the car opposite). Plus if she was just crossing in a random place on the road (i.e. not a zebra crossing) she's got no reason to be in the road so it's clearly her fault.

Still would be a horrible thing to go through though.

Dashcams themselves aren't that expensive, it's the getting them properly plugged into the system that costs more. You can just buy ones that stick on the dashboard (or even use an old phone) but would either have wires training or have to remember to take it in and charge every night.