Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

First time homeowner, nightmare neighbours?

22 replies

CatMomOf2 · 26/09/2025 21:59

Myself (27) and bf (28) bought our home (upper cottage flat) in 2023. Both work Mon-Fri 9-5, average social lives, do not party, consider ourselves usual, respectful neighbours? Cat mom to 2 baby angels.

Last week as we returned home, we were approached? More so pounced on? By our downstairs neighbour, she was stretched out her car window screaming at us. Why do we “slam” our door? Why do my parcels get put in our garden box near her child’s window? Why do we watch tv at 9pm? Why do we have work going on? (it’s a full reno of a 3 bedroom) Why did we have friends around 2 Saturdays ago? Why do we HOOVER?! 🥲 imagine that? I know 27 year olds that don’t hoover but hey ho!

Not a chance to respond, I let her rant before asking why not just come to our door? Her response, because we have a ring camera? So she’s aware she’s unable to have normal, calm conversations and this would be recorded? For reference we told her we were installing the ring and she ok’d.

Everything she said we can also hear but this is all environmental and quite simply people just living?
I attempted to sympathise with her as I said I work with children and feel we are respectful, this was met with a threat of “wait until I find out where you work with children”
At this point it dawned on me, we do not need to be stood here, listening to this. I told her this was not an appropriate “conversation” to have in the street nor infront of her 3 children sat in the car.
As we gracefully bowed out, she jumped out her car following us up the path screaming at us to “get back here now you s**bags”. The minute I closed my door, I bawled my eyes out, shaking like a leaf.

I called 101 next day as encouraged by family and manager at work. I cried the full call, as I didn’t know why I was calling or if it even mattered. But as a young girl, whose BF works nightshifts 2 months of the year and we live over an hour away from all family and friends. I was concerned that this woman is beginning to pattern our movements, when we go to work, get home from work, when we do X Y Z. This is not normal behaviour? Do I just need to wait on her jumping out her car at me everytime I walk along the street? The threat to find out my workplace? Unlikely I know but you can imagine how this would make you feel.

4 days later she waited for us to leave and minutes later posted hand written note demanding we move our garden box by tomorrow or she would do so herself. We checked the deeds and of course, my property so we weren’t moving anything. The next day herself and her man moved all of our stuff, which has been caught on camera and saved. Moving our stuff, on our property without our permission? Hmm. We have decided to take the silent and walk away approach so we went back outside 20 minutes later and moved it all back. Roll on garden box gate / wars?? Hehe.

Tonight, I am sat home alone, and they have walked back and forth across my front door, alerting my ring doorbell 11 times in 12 minutes? How is that normal behaviour? I think they know exactly what they are doing. Trying to flex their muscles? Trying to intimidate? Looking for a reaction? Your guess is as good as mine.

The urge to stay quiet is wearing thin, I wish I could send a copy of the deeds and go HAHA SEEEEEEEEEEE

Anywaysssss, Mum told me to post here for the best chat, that you’ll give it to me straight, either tell me I’m a silly wee girl, that they are absolute rockets or just make light of it? All or one of those would be lovely 🤣
p.s I am not moving, this is our home until it’s not!

Who said moving out was fun?! 27 and I wanna go homeeeeee!!!!

OP posts:
InOverMyHead84 · 26/09/2025 22:04

They are Bullies, testing you.

They will only respect force back. Not just from personality but also legal. They trespass again. Slam them. We have you on camera violating our property.

That will scare them, but fundamental, they will respect it. They are not people to reason with. Put. Up. Walls.

Any communication, grey wall them. Purely dispationate. Put it in writing.

Also, give them a dehumanising nickname. It will help you crack on. I still laugh at F*cktard, our prior neighbour making similar demands. When we moved out, we only went 50m across the road to a larger property. He thought he won, he still sees us every. Fucking. Day. He hates it even now.,

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 26/09/2025 22:10

I hate one of my neighbours.
When he's being a particular twat I give him the finger and flash my arse at him. Squeeze out a fart in his direction too if possible.

After I close the curtains, of course, but I really go for it and it feels good

Your neighbour sounds like the perfect candidate for some of the same.

Redbushteaforme · 26/09/2025 22:11

She sounds crazy but, on the other hand, it can't be much fun having a full reno of a three bedroom property happening upstairs from you. What days/hours is your reno work taking place and how long has it been happening/going to last. Perhaps the noise from that is at the root of the problem. If that's the case, it doesn't excuse her behaviour but does help explain it.

Ps you are 27 years old. You are not a 'wee girl'.

Iamtired123 · 26/09/2025 22:18

As someone who lives in a lower cottage flat I have to say the noise from upstairs does drive me crazy sometimes, but not that crazy 😂
She was unreasonable but I have to ask did you realise these flats have no soundproofing when you moved in? Maybe she just is at the end of her tether with the noise and has went about it the wrong way. And regarding the parcel box, I wouldn't like it if delivery men were constantly deliver parcels outside my wee girls bedroom window.

ShamrockShenanigans · 26/09/2025 22:19

I was confused about the 'young girl' whose boyfriend works nights but after reading to the end, I think you meant you, yes?

It's a terrible situation OP but all you can really do for now is to make a note of everything they do - dates/times etc and make it as detailed as possible incase you have to take it further.

CatMomOf2 · 26/09/2025 22:24

Iamtired123 · 26/09/2025 22:18

As someone who lives in a lower cottage flat I have to say the noise from upstairs does drive me crazy sometimes, but not that crazy 😂
She was unreasonable but I have to ask did you realise these flats have no soundproofing when you moved in? Maybe she just is at the end of her tether with the noise and has went about it the wrong way. And regarding the parcel box, I wouldn't like it if delivery men were constantly deliver parcels outside my wee girls bedroom window.

@Iamtired123 part of living in a flat though eh? Upper or lower? As I stated, I can hear them drop a spoon and if I was as petty as them I could say their children are the worst of the noise. But I’m a reasonable and clearly more mature neighbour that understands that people need to live ☺️
didn’t state the box was at the window, no matter where I am in my garden their window is in sight? 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
CatMomOf2 · 26/09/2025 22:25

InOverMyHead84 · 26/09/2025 22:04

They are Bullies, testing you.

They will only respect force back. Not just from personality but also legal. They trespass again. Slam them. We have you on camera violating our property.

That will scare them, but fundamental, they will respect it. They are not people to reason with. Put. Up. Walls.

Any communication, grey wall them. Purely dispationate. Put it in writing.

Also, give them a dehumanising nickname. It will help you crack on. I still laugh at F*cktard, our prior neighbour making similar demands. When we moved out, we only went 50m across the road to a larger property. He thought he won, he still sees us every. Fucking. Day. He hates it even now.,

@InOverMyHead84 hahahaha. Small wins like that are more satisfying for sure.
As for the nicknames. We’re on it!!

OP posts:
Heatherinlondon · 26/09/2025 22:27

Keep logging it with 101. Save all the video clips. It’s starting to sound like harassment. If she doesn’t like the ring doorbell, get another one by your garden. Maybe you could post the clips on fb pages ‘anyone know this strange woman wandering around my garden in the dark?’. She is being a bully!

Iamtired123 · 26/09/2025 22:29

CatMomOf2 · 26/09/2025 22:24

@Iamtired123 part of living in a flat though eh? Upper or lower? As I stated, I can hear them drop a spoon and if I was as petty as them I could say their children are the worst of the noise. But I’m a reasonable and clearly more mature neighbour that understands that people need to live ☺️
didn’t state the box was at the window, no matter where I am in my garden their window is in sight? 🤷🏽‍♀️

You stated your neighbour said "Why do my parcels get put in our garden box near her child’s window?"

CatMomOf2 · 26/09/2025 22:29

Redbushteaforme · 26/09/2025 22:11

She sounds crazy but, on the other hand, it can't be much fun having a full reno of a three bedroom property happening upstairs from you. What days/hours is your reno work taking place and how long has it been happening/going to last. Perhaps the noise from that is at the root of the problem. If that's the case, it doesn't excuse her behaviour but does help explain it.

Ps you are 27 years old. You are not a 'wee girl'.

Edited

@Redbushteaforme
We have chapped their door each time we have work going on. Every single time. As for when, usual working hours 9-4:30, workmen always gone when we arrive home. Plastering, painting, flooring etc

As for the “wee girl” comment, clearly Scottish. If you are not, I’ll explain that for you. It means am I being silly ☺️ but thanks for your input.

OP posts:
CatMomOf2 · 26/09/2025 22:31

Iamtired123 · 26/09/2025 22:29

You stated your neighbour said "Why do my parcels get put in our garden box near her child’s window?"

@Iamtired123 yes I did, and as I replied anywhere in my garden is in view of that window? What can I do?

OP posts:
Iamtired123 · 26/09/2025 22:32

CatMomOf2 · 26/09/2025 22:31

@Iamtired123 yes I did, and as I replied anywhere in my garden is in view of that window? What can I do?

How close is it to the wee girls window ?

GurbangulyJones · 26/09/2025 22:35

Sounds like a colonies flat? Have you met your other neighbours? Maybe worth talking to them if you haven't, she might be a known problem.

nightowlzombiemum · 26/09/2025 22:37

I have twat neighbours on both sides. They are CF’s of the highest order. Awful human beings. Even if you were making noise and renovating, NO ONE has the right to shout and swear at you. Especially when a conversation would do the trick. You sound reasonable. They don’t. Note it all down. Don’t let them intimidate you. Flowers OP 💐

Redbushteaforme · 26/09/2025 22:45

CatMomOf2 · 26/09/2025 22:29

@Redbushteaforme
We have chapped their door each time we have work going on. Every single time. As for when, usual working hours 9-4:30, workmen always gone when we arrive home. Plastering, painting, flooring etc

As for the “wee girl” comment, clearly Scottish. If you are not, I’ll explain that for you. It means am I being silly ☺️ but thanks for your input.

I am Scottish, actually, and I have never heard a 27 year old being described as a 'wee girl'!

I would suggest you chap her door again,speak to her calmly and try to find out what the actual problem is, and if you can meet her halfway to improve things. If that doesn't work, keep a diary of her behaviour to you and report to 101.

CatMomOf2 · 26/09/2025 22:49

Redbushteaforme · 26/09/2025 22:45

I am Scottish, actually, and I have never heard a 27 year old being described as a 'wee girl'!

I would suggest you chap her door again,speak to her calmly and try to find out what the actual problem is, and if you can meet her halfway to improve things. If that doesn't work, keep a diary of her behaviour to you and report to 101.

A 67 year old could be a silly wee girl too. “Awk sorry I was just being a silly wee girl when I said that” ☺️
Approaching them was going to be my next plan but I unfortunately don’t feel safe in doing so. Diary has been kept too. Thank you!

OP posts:
ShamrockShenanigans · 26/09/2025 23:05

I get the 'silly wee girl' thing is an expression.

But the bit where you said

But as a young girl, whose BF works nightshifts 2 months of the year and we live over an hour away from all family and friends.

That was what confused me, rather than the expression if that makes sense?

RaspberryFeet · 26/09/2025 23:15

I’d move the garden box away further from the child’s window.

Ive had terrible neighbours before, you can’t wage a war because you don’t know the rules. And it could escalate.

UncharteredWaters · 26/09/2025 23:17

I’d contact the police about the ring doorbell footage as well.

and I think the fb post would be hilarious!!

JohnofWessex · 26/09/2025 23:19

I might try contacting The Council & The Police to see if there are any complaints against your neighbor by the previous owner

TillyButtonGrundy · 26/09/2025 23:37

ShamrockShenanigans · 26/09/2025 23:05

I get the 'silly wee girl' thing is an expression.

But the bit where you said

But as a young girl, whose BF works nightshifts 2 months of the year and we live over an hour away from all family and friends.

That was what confused me, rather than the expression if that makes sense?

All cleared up now, though.

Givenupshopping · 27/09/2025 00:01

OP, with regard to parcels, would it be possible to have them delivered to a convenient collection point, or to your place of work, instead of having them left in the box, where your neighbour could presumably mess with them if they felt so inclined? Just a thought.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread