Family Reunion No Partners!

[EWAB]

My late mother-in-law’s American Cousin has really gone to town on arranging a family Reunion. Everyone is excited; it’s been a year in the making. . This reunion would be our holiday in 2026 with both my sons, one of which is stepson to my partner.

Last weekend the cousin emailed. She said that as this event was going to be so amazing some partners were planning to , and these are her words ‘crash’ the reunion.

Turns out partners were never invited and my partner and obviously other family including his own brother assumed we were all invited.

So this cousin has arranged an alternative itinerary for the partners . There are two events where partners can join in and again her words they are ‘obviously not included in the visit to The Homestead’ and photos will only include direct descendants of x and y and x and z GGrandfather married twice.

Partner said he dreaded telling me but he and younger son are still going even if I don’t.

I am fucking raging. A few weeks ago I posted on here about a cousin moving to London who didn’t have ‘bandwidth’ to see me or elder son.

WTAF? Would you expect to be included your partner’s family reunion or have I completely lost it?

I am stunned.

That sucks. If i were the family member i'd have told the cousin to shove it.

But it is what it is. So your DH is going? using family money? So you take an equal amount of family money and do something spectacular with your DS.

How bizarre! The only bit I could understand really is the odd photos with just the direct family, but other than that, it's really a really weird decision. I'd have no problem with DH and DS going, but I'd not bother. I'd take myself off somewhere nice with my share of the holiday money.

I hate the “only blood family” types. It’s like they don’t realise all of the children who are included wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for the non-blood in-laws!
Theres nothing you can do if your DH wants to go (though I wouldn’t be overjoyed about him thinking it was ok to exclude you) m, but as others have said I would make sure you do something luxurious for yourself and make sure he knows why.

A few weeks ago I posted on here about a cousin moving to London who didn’t have ‘bandwidth’ to see me or elder son.

This ^^ made me curious enough to search that thread and read it OP.

And now I'm not sure about this, because your entire posting history is mostly just you obsessing about needing you and your DS to be included in absolutely everything!

So on the face of your opening post I'd say YANBU, but I really can't blame your partner for just being sick of it, and saying he'll go anyway.

I don't see a problem with it. You'll still be going, just not to one event. Why are you "raging"?

I'm probably biased. I come from a a large Irish family, whenever we have a get together everyone is more (including partners & children) are than welcome. So much fun with people doing their 'party pieces', children playing recorders, dancing generally a good criac.

I would politely decline if my partner wasn't invited.

I can see it both ways to be honest. If I’d done genealogy and stuff and tracked down family from around the globe, it’s the family I’d want to see.

The point is to have a get together of people who are related to each other. You can look for traces of great Aunt Jenny and Uncle Phil in the kids. You are literally gathering people who are related. Otherwise you may as well bring friends as well.

Makes for a more interesting & fun 'Do' IMO

Otherwise, it’s a party of randoms that you don’t know, some of who are related to you. Pointless.

Sounds like hell - I’d be elated to have not been invited lol

So if my grandparents held this, my mum say would be excluded? As it’s dad’s parent? )and they are 75 and 50)
blood only of 2 specific people? Yeah I’d decline if my mum was not allowed to come. Is sisters adopted child allowed? Probably not!