Moral Dilemma - neighbour

[Dreamofholidays]

Used to have a friendly (chat in the street, very occasional coffee) relationship with my neighbour. We have done some building works recently. Neighbour pretty obnoxious about the works, which surprised us. At one point, they even tried to stop the works- our party wall surveyor said that if they continued, to call the police. Only lasted a day, but was very stressful and awkward afterwards. Obviously did not want to call the police on my neighbour- how can you be friendly after that. Works nearly over, but neighbour was then abusive (swearing) at our builder. I feel sorry for the neighbour in some ways, as clearly they cannot cope, but I'm also sick of the sense of entitlement and rudeness.

So my dilemma is this: my neighbour has a porch at the back of their house that was built without planning permission. In a moment of frustration, I talked to the planning department who said if I reported it, it is likely they would request that the neighbour take it down. The porch in question does not bother me at all, but I am tired of being at the brunt of my neighbour's unreasonableness. Do I go high and just move on, or should I report them to teach them a lesson?

This is exactly what I was going to say. You don’t really want to report them and have them face the tough consequences. What you really want is them to be reasonable and considerate neighbours - especially given you know they should be worrying about their own building works and not yours.

This makes it perfectly clear.

I do get the frustration.
Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and leave it, more for your own sake than theirs. I'm sure you don't want to prolong arguments and would rather just enjoy your house now.
We have nice neighbours, but they've definitely pissed us off on occasion. You have to pick your battles and think of the future (as in either a future sale or just living peacefully). Would reporting the porch be satisfying? Yes, probably for a bit, until they realise it was obviously you and it all becomes tit for tat. Then it's months of bullshit. Not worth it.

Yes we lost some money when they delayed the building work for a day-unlawfully according to both party wall surveyors. They were difficult about the party wall agreement- taking ages to agree it- which cost us 5k and we could have lost the builder. I do appreciate that legally they are entitled to do that- as such we never mentioned it.

After having witnessed the unbelievable stress and noise a friend went through while works were carried out on her neighbours property, I sympathise with your neighbour. You are getting lovely home works and that makes it bearable for you, your neighbour gets nothing but inconvenience. You sound awful.

My neighbour is doing a lot if internal works themselves. It is not the noise that bothers them, rather the existence of a 'new building'.

This is the correct advice ☺️.

Don't start a neighbor dispute. Its no fun gor anyone.

.ours is also quite an unusual situation in that I also got planning permission for the whole block to build- only if they want to. So essentially I have increased my neighbour's house price by about 30k should they want to sell.

Anyway- I do appreciate the other posts- let it go, onwards and upwards!.

I think the right thing to do is ignore and let it settle. However, you can still dream and pretend to get revenge for the rudeness!! It might make you feel better.

does the new building block their light or change their privacy at all? I just wonder why they’re so annoyed if it’s not about the noise.

Thanks. I'm going to move on - well, try very hard.

It does block light for about 10 minutes in the morning. I think it is just the change , any change, they can't cope with. Single person living alone.
Hopefully when the builders leave (v soon I hope- ie days) it will settle down.

Forgot to copy you. As my neighbour could now do this work- they could sell their house for about 30k more, so they have got something out of it.
Am going to try to move on and will not do anything.