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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have an Investigator re-meeting today with regards to colleagues

23 replies

HRchatter · 26/09/2025 08:34

We are in a position where whilst we aren’t at the place the police rely on us for information and truthful statements to do with the public antisocial behaviour in particular. We have the power to issue fines.
I am working with somebody who is unsuitable for the role and in my opinion quite mentally unstable based on information that she has given to me whilst we have been at work.
Obviously, I am her colleague but I have no point promised confidentiality. Obviously, if I had any real safeguarding concerns about her, I would’ve flagged them already. She isn’t a suicide risk. And she isn’t somebody who would harm anybody else in my opinion.
However, she is absolutely somebody who exaggerates and makes up stories that could potentially put public behind bars based on her accounts.
She has brought a complaint against another member of staff which will not be upheld in my opinion
However, this is an opportunity for me to make management aware of some of the really quite disturbing comments and stories she has shared with me which I truly believe impact her ability to think partially and act correctly.
But it’s not related directly.
What would you do?

OP posts:
TheGreatWesternShrew · 26/09/2025 08:36

I’d absolutely share those comments with senior staff. You are simply informing them so they can make a decision to protect people if needed.

eish · 26/09/2025 08:37

You need to flag your concerns. Factually (which is obviously what you do for your job anyway), and leave them to do their own investigation.

Mysticaldeer · 26/09/2025 08:37

Tell. Without a doubt.
These people need routing out before they cause devastation.

fruitbrewhaha · 26/09/2025 08:37

Write it all down for them factually.

onceuponatimeinneverland · 26/09/2025 08:39

Mmmm I think I'd just answer the questions as asked. Then speak to manager at a later date about the other stuff . Otherwise I think you risk the two things being conflated.

Glittertwins · 26/09/2025 08:39

Keep it impersonal and factual. You then make management aware and it is then their responsibility to continue if you aren’t in that position.

3456DDF · 26/09/2025 08:40

What are the YABU /YANBU ?

HRchatter · 26/09/2025 08:40

onceuponatimeinneverland · 26/09/2025 08:39

Mmmm I think I'd just answer the questions as asked. Then speak to manager at a later date about the other stuff . Otherwise I think you risk the two things being conflated.

I have raised some of these issues with management previously they are holy ineffective which is why I suppose I’m considering utilising HR whilst they’re available to me in this meeting.
Then it can’t be brushed under the carpet for a quiet life

OP posts:
HRchatter · 26/09/2025 08:41

Glittertwins · 26/09/2025 08:39

Keep it impersonal and factual. You then make management aware and it is then their responsibility to continue if you aren’t in that position.

This is the issue and it’s the problem with the job.
My factual could be your opinion and it could be completely utterly conflicting.

Because it’s all verbal, none of it is able to be proven really.

OP posts:
AutumnCosy2025 · 26/09/2025 08:43

HRchatter · 26/09/2025 08:40

I have raised some of these issues with management previously they are holy ineffective which is why I suppose I’m considering utilising HR whilst they’re available to me in this meeting.
Then it can’t be brushed under the carpet for a quiet life

I think you should talk to HR, she could seriously ruin other people's lives, they need to know.

Robertplantgoddess · 26/09/2025 08:43

I know its me not understanding but what do you mean by -my factual could be your opinion?
Surely if its police related where people can end up being incarcerated there is no room for opinions only facts?

HRchatter · 26/09/2025 08:52

Robertplantgoddess · 26/09/2025 08:43

I know its me not understanding but what do you mean by -my factual could be your opinion?
Surely if its police related where people can end up being incarcerated there is no room for opinions only facts?

I’m trying to think of a example.
She’s changed her statement on a number of occasions after giving the statement to the police.
So I’ve sat and watched and listened to her. Tell the police one thing. And then a Few months later completely contradict those statements. To colleagues not the police because its too late.
Actually, in that case in the favour of the person committing the crime.

But I’m pretty sure it could work the other way too.
Maybe less so.
But what it does is undermine me within the team.
The police have already got the measure of her, And she’s very upset that they don’t ask her for statements nine times out of 10 if I’m there.
But of course we get new officers every week so some unsuspecting newbie could come along.

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 26/09/2025 10:01

By keeping it factual, are you able to record what was said and when. This isn’t opinion, it’s a record of what was said by her and heard by you first hand.
of course, if it is not heard first hand by you then there is little you can do as you can’t operate on hearsay.

HRchatter · 26/09/2025 10:15

Glittertwins · 26/09/2025 10:01

By keeping it factual, are you able to record what was said and when. This isn’t opinion, it’s a record of what was said by her and heard by you first hand.
of course, if it is not heard first hand by you then there is little you can do as you can’t operate on hearsay.

We wear body cams, but it doesn’t record the audio.
It is difficult.
Because our word should be gospel if that makes sense.

OP posts:
HRchatter · 26/09/2025 10:16

I am gonna report what has been said to me by her but unfortunately I feel as though it’s going to be seen as being six of one and half of the other.
She really shouldn’t be in the job, She’s a very mentally unwell person imo

OP posts:
FrondsofFriday · 26/09/2025 10:33

It must be me, as other people have responded, but I really don’t understand your OP.

Do you man a response helpline or something like that? So you hear evidence but aren’t on the scene?

I would just tell management honestly that you have concerns about the reliability of her accounts. Give factual examples. Don’t say anything personal about her.

HRchatter · 26/09/2025 10:50

FrondsofFriday · 26/09/2025 10:33

It must be me, as other people have responded, but I really don’t understand your OP.

Do you man a response helpline or something like that? So you hear evidence but aren’t on the scene?

I would just tell management honestly that you have concerns about the reliability of her accounts. Give factual examples. Don’t say anything personal about her.

No, we’re in a front line role where we often get there before the police and Our accounts often will influence what the police do next.

They have to be reliable.
The issue is it’s very difficult not to say anything about her personally, Because the indiscretions whilst they have been about police matters on occasion, they’ve been very minor.

The ones within the company have been very big and for me. I believe that affects how I respond to her accounts when they are about the general public.
Does that make sense?

OP posts:
HRchatter · 26/09/2025 10:51

Basically she tells that many lies within the organisation that I find it very difficult to believe a word she says even when they are with regards to police matters.
do I relay that?

OP posts:
bluegreygreen · 26/09/2025 10:53

Yes - but give factual examples of both company and police ones

Frostynoman · 26/09/2025 11:14

You use the last statement in your last post with examples. Keep it neutral in tone but highlight that this is something you have already raised with management, prior to this investigation and that her inability to say the same thing twice interferes in the ability for the work to be carried out

HRchatter · 03/10/2025 17:37

Well, they have stuffed that right up
The person that the allegations were made against has resigned
The person who made the allegations nothing happened to whatsoever and they have swept everything stated by the rest of the team under the carpet 🤦‍♀️
I don’t know why we bothered

OP posts:
PinkFrogss · 03/10/2025 17:45

HRchatter · 03/10/2025 17:37

Well, they have stuffed that right up
The person that the allegations were made against has resigned
The person who made the allegations nothing happened to whatsoever and they have swept everything stated by the rest of the team under the carpet 🤦‍♀️
I don’t know why we bothered

Have you contacted HR?

HRchatter · 03/10/2025 17:48

PinkFrogss · 03/10/2025 17:45

Have you contacted HR?

No, because I don’t wanna be seen as a shit stirrer and nothing is gonna happen anyway.

OP posts:
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