If you’re thin, what does the voice in your head say?

[SunshineAndFizz]

If you’re offered a biscuit, or need to make a selection in a restaurant, what does the voice in your head say to help you make a healthy choice?

Kate Moss famously said ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’. And my aunt used to say ‘oh I don’t like to feel full’.

If you’re thin, do you have a healthy phrase you tell yourself to help keep on the right track?

I don't particularly like being full, but I don't feel hungry most of the time either. So being full isn't a respite from being hungry to me because I only feel hungry if I really need to eat (e.g. I've been eating too little or it has been several hours since I last ate).

It does seem unfair that it works so differently for different people.

I think maybe you're asking the wrong question (or possibly of the wrong people?)

Some people struggle with it, and succeed through self discipline - so they can probably give you the answers you want.

Some of us just don't have the "food noise". I don't think about it. If I go to a restaurant I eat what I fancy that night, but if I eat heavy food or multiple courses, I won't be hungry the next day and might just drink tea and water. I'm not denying myself anything, it's just that my body feels full and doesn't want to eat. And I love food, interesting tastes and flavours and new dishes - I just don't want to eat except when I'm actively hungry.

Likewise, I don't usually snack and feel no desire to, so I'd just refuse the biscuit as being of no interest, rather than having to consciously avoid it.

If I feel like buying snacks at the supermarket, I do - and chances are, by the time I get home, I'll stick them in the cupboard and not want them, and then give them to a friend later in the week.

If you wanted a strategy, I think it's called "intuitive eating" - you get to really understand your body's cues and signals, so you don't misunderstand thirst or boredom or sadness/emptiness for hunger - so you only eat when you're genuinely in need of food, not for emotional or other non-sustenance related reasons. And for the same reasons, you stop when that cue has been satisfied, which might well be less than the whole plateful.

The only eating I truly look forward to is my evening meal. I love sitting down to my meal properly ready for it, I like sitting down to it on an empty stomach.

But maybe they aren't depriving themselves?

Sometimes I don't have any of a cake/treat because I genuinely don't fancy it. If I did want it, then I would eat it.

Interesting thread OP. As someone with a very loud ‘food voice’ I’ve learnt something from these replies!

I don’t have an inner voice, but I can go a longtime without food; and that’s not me being hungry, I mean I’m actually not even thinking of food. Today I didn’t eat until 5pm - I had a lemon water in the morning, oat milk latte, and lots and lots of water. I’ve had a very active day, strength section at the gym, lots of driving, working, and then supper out.

Supper was just a main course, and earlier this evening (at home) I had some yummy Greek yogurt with berries.

In answer to your question the thing I tell myself (not intentionally) which stops me from eating is probably the idea that I have to be seated and relaxed when eating and it has to be something of my choosing…

I hope I’m making sense…I have one good meal a day and I’m not going to waste it on something I grab from a supermarket without actually wanting it, or without it having some nutritional value to it. I don’t want to just eat to fill my belly up.

Exactly this. I’ve never once thought “ooh I really want that! But I mustn’t have it!” and gone away feeling like I’ve missed out or deprived myself.

@BertieBotts that must be true of most slim people but it's unfathomable for me! I say no, about 500 times a day and I cave out of sheer exhaustion about 4 or 5 times a day, resulting in a lifetime of being fat. I feel i work so hard to not be twice the size I am but get no credit for it because to all the world im someone who overeats and has no willpower. I'm genuinely really jealous of people who don't struggle with this.

I tend to think, ‘oh I better burn that off later’ (I run quite a lot) or I should have less food tomorrow.

I love food but I don't have a voice in my head about it. I just stop eating when I am full. I'm not underweight or overweight, low end of healthy BMI.

I get hungry quite frequently but eat small portions when I do and try to have healthy snacks, so nuts and fruit rather than crisps. But I also do like crisps and have a packet or two a week.

I haven't got a sweet tooth at all which probably helps.

I love food, always thinking about it, but have never been overweight. I binge a bit on biscuits etc but do have an inner voice that keeps track of food, sort of calories but not accurate. I try to have limited carbs and save them for my daily sweet treat. It helps that I love veg and fruit, and also exercise, though am finding that more difficult in my late 60s.

I want this, but I want to lose weight more.

I'm not as slim as some of the people here but I tend to hover around a size 10 without trying. Honestly I don't have a voice, but I'm pretty lazy, I do my food shopping online and don't add any crap and then if i fancy it when I'm home I simply can't be arsed to go out and get it. On the other hand, my friend brought me an apple pie a few weeks ago and I smashed the whole thing in 2 days. Didn't think about it again once it was finished. I think I'm just not that bothered about food (I do have plenty of other vices I promise I'm not trying to come across as unafflicted here).

I'm naturally slim, even with 2 babies in the last couple of years I haven't really gained weight. I've come to the conclusion that it's 80% genetics and some people just aren't born with a 'food voice' really. I enjoy good food, I love to cook, I do have my 'treats' but honestly it's never been a big deal to me, I've never been able to relate to other women's conversations/jokes about resisting treats or 'fighting over the last cake' or whatever. I don't say this in a snobbish way, it's no credit to me, but yeah I just honestly don't have a food voice really. I don't really admit it in real life actually, I have one friend I've made as an adult who confided in me that they also have never understood all the 'cant keep cake in the house or Id finish it in one day' stuff

Also I have always been interested in food nutrition and healthy eating tho and I often find myself assessing how I feel and thinking 'Hmm I'm starving, had a bad night so need to avoid a sugar rush, busy day ahead so want something to keep me going for a while, think I'll have a couple of eggs and some toast...' or whatever, very much "eat to live" I suppose.

I do love my food though also, I don't know 🤷🏼‍♀️

You've got me thinking now 😅

I used to be thin, and I genuinely didn't want to eat more than would maintain my healthy weight, always at the lower end of the 'healthy' scale. I never denied myself, I was just full and my body recognised it. Since having my daughter in my late 30s, combined with perimenopause and back-to-back health issues, my ability to recognise being full is gone. I also stress eat now, whereas stress used to completely kill my appetite. I don't consciously do anything differently, but a combination of hormones and immune response has utterly shattered my body's ability to self-regulate food intake.

At a healthy weight on Mounjaro there is no real argument with myself and it's hard to overeat. It reminds me of how I felt when I was very slim 25 years ago, that I just never really wanted to overeat. I lost that feeling when I got pregnant and the food noise never went away until starting to take Mounjaro six months ago. I hope I'll feel the same when I stop!

Same here.

I don’t have a voice in my head in those situations. If I’m hungry then I’ll eat, if I’m not then I don’t think about it

Someone would only be depriving themselves if they were declining something they actually wanted.

I don’t have much in the way of sweet tooth, so things like cake aren’t a treat to me. I say no to cake because I don’t want cake.

I've got pandemic pounds still and haven't been able to shift because of single mum duties, but when I was slim I always made sure I ate until I was very full of the healthy meals I made, to stop me snacking later on crisps biscuits etc. Always kept enough dinner for seconds if I got hungry later on. I was a veggie, sometimes a pescie, and had little to no cheese in my diet. Would eat things like quinoa, cous cous, lighter pastas, potatoes and roast veg. Eggs for breakfast, and I barely ate bread. But when I did I didn't beat myself up. So the key was to make sure I always felt full, but it was full of the good stuff. Drank lots of water also and barely drunk juice. Didn't say no to other people treating me or the odd packet of chips. You've got to keep your metabolism up to lose weight so eating enough food and enjoying it and eating three proper meals each day is important. I also took my time cooking because for some reason the act of cooking stops me snacking or seeing food as something convenient.

I'm trying to be like that again but not beating myself up. I've lost a bit of the pandemic pounds since I stopped trying to restrict myself and just eat whenever I'm hungry. I don't have a sweet tooth though because of how I used to eat, so that helps.

Yeah actually hormones, certain points during pregnancy/breastfeeding/postpartum hormone swings I totally lost self regulation and felt like I stepped into someone else's shoes for a while. I crave salty not sweet but I felt like there was no force on earth that could prevent me devouring entire sharebags of crisps for example. I'm immensely sympathetic with anyone who is constantly trying to quiet a voice like that, if that's what it's like.

Interestingly and totally anecdotally... I take after my mum's family, my mum and I are naturally slim and can 'eat anything', have always had light regular periods and fall pregnant very easily... My 2 sisters are much more like my dad's family and have both always had heavy painful irregular periods and taken a long time to get pregnant, and they both struggle with weight/food. That hormonal link applies to a lot of friends and family I can think of. Sorry maybe that's totally obvious and I'm being really dumb 😂

I got fat at one time in my life, and I remember how horrible I looked and felt. Absolutely hated it. Tried to lie to myself that 'its not that bad, I'm not that big', but it was and I was. Still have a couple of photos from back then.

Got ahold of myself, lost it, and would do ahything not to get obese again. Kate Moss was right and no biscuit in the world is worth it.

For most slim people (without eating disorders and without overweight histories) it's not so much the 'voice' in their head that helps them to stay slim but the satiety hormones like leptin that tell the person that they are full and to stop eating that really make them slim.

It's less about virtue and more about someone's physical makeup.

I am a real foodie- I love thinking about food, planning it, preparing it - improving the recipe and making it perfect. I eat when I want something. But I think, I’m satisfied sooner with what I eat because I really appreciate it. My DH eats bars and bars of chocolate that he almost swallows without chewing (I’m not exaggerating- he is very tall and needs the calories but doesn’t eat big meals) where I will eat a much smaller treat, but take bites, really enjoy it, and that’s enough. Like others, I don’t have “food noise” or internal arguments or a deliberate control over my intake as such, so maybe people who have successfully lost weight would be better advisors.

If the biscuit sounds good I take it and eat it, at least until I find myself not really enjoying it anymore.

I have a long history of disordered eating but I did a ton of work on it, especially once I started thinking about becoming a parent, with a lot of it focused around intuitive eating. At this point I don't really think about what I shouldn't have. I make an effort to get in plenty of fiber, protein, and vegetables (especially early in the day), make sure I'm getting regular meals throughout the day, and plan/ use my finances to ensure I have low-effort foods on hand that are just as easy but will leave me feeling better than downing half a pint of ice cream or a large order of drive-thru chips when I'm at the end of a long day. These are all things that make it fairly automatic for me to choose a balanced diet and not eat past the point of enjoyment when paired with an "no bad foods" approach. I half-jokingly call mine an all-additive diet because I think about intentionally adding/including things rather than restricting anything.

When I want sugary/fried/processed foods I let myself have them with no guilt. But when I'm not under-nourished, not choosing those foods because they're the only mindless/instant options I have, and know that I can get more chips or ice cream the next day if I want then I tend to be perfectly content with a few bites. Actually one of the problems I have is accumulating opened packages of sweets/crisps/ice cream and never getting around to eating the rest; that problem was unimaginable in my early life.

ETA: I've been at a healthy weight for years now, but that actually didn't come until I stopped the restriction/binging cycle and intentional weight loss efforts.