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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy my 3 year old what she wants for Christmas?

155 replies

Abcdefgno · 25/09/2025 21:18

Dd3 absolutely loves playing with tat. Anything small, fiddly, plastic and pink, DD loves. She’s asked for LOL surprise dolls, Mini Little Live Pets, Barbie tat etc for Christmas.

AIBU to buy DD these kinds of gifts (which is what she enjoys and has asked for), over ‘better’ and more educational toys? Or should I be trying to steer her towards these better toys as she is only 3?

OP posts:
SnooperLoopy · 26/09/2025 07:15

gavisconismyfriend · 26/09/2025 07:12

If she’s playing then she’s learning, regardless of the perceived educational quality of the toys. Imaginary play develops her creative skills and lets her practice language; manipulating tiny objects supports fine motor development; spending ages engaged with toys develops concentration and attention etc. Plus it brings joy to her life and finding joy in simple things is a skill well learnt.

based.

OnlyOneAdda · 26/09/2025 07:25

Agree on all the sanctimonious BS...ffs 🙄

Christmas is about magic and excitement! And agree with others about educational toys not being limited to the things these sanctimonious idiots are suggesting - it feels like that's a lot more about parental virtu-signalling...

Like others, Father Christmas always got what they really, really wanted and put on their list - often tat. Over the years we bought the worthy educational wooden toys, bikes, iPads while Father Christmas brought My Little Pony Princess Twilights Magic Kingdom, Heelies, a barking and jumping puppy, a dolphin with sounds, ginormous stuffed Thomas the Tank Engine the elves had to have shipped in from USA... 😂

Father Christmas is the best. And their little faces on Christmas morning were priceless. Enjoy this special time.

Thewitchsong · 26/09/2025 07:27

MrsWhites · 25/09/2025 21:48

Buy her what she wants, there is a place for educational toys of course but equally a place for what she wants too, as long as you can afford it.

I’m sure all of us remember asking for something and never getting it - I’ve always held it against my parents that they never did get me a Mr Frosty 😂

This

I'm still sore i never got the lemondrop my little pony,complete with stable and spike the dragon

(Thank God for ebay as I held a grudge for so long about this,I found the whole lot there and it graces my spare room)

I'd go half and half-some bits she wants and some educational

Daisymae55 · 26/09/2025 07:32

rainbow231 · 26/09/2025 06:31

I do know what PPs mean. Fair enough my DS is a simple creature at 3, but even with older siblings his concept of Christmas is very much still developing, he certainly wouldn’t be listing a bunch of branded toys he wanted, and I’d find it slightly jarring if he did.

I also have never once seen Barbies/LOLs at playgroups or any nursery over the 10 years mine have attended. I’m not a toy snob, my dd had a short but v enjoyable barbie phase and her fair share of plastic tat, but LOLs at 3?

Personally I’d try and find some Vinted bargains for the plastic tat, there must be so much Barbie stuff on there already in existence, then maybe get her to choose one or two favourite things a bit closer to Christmas if she really wants to choose, or if it’s something that can’t be found second hand.

Seeing as I spent an hour coaxing my 3 year old out of hiding at her preschool settling in session with Barbie’s at her preschool, where there was a huge box and a Barbie house, I can confirm Yeah they’re at preschools. This is a ofsted outstanding preschool with loads of amazing facilities and forest school. They’re also at playgroups and I always see little girls ranging from 2-4 playing with them. And you know what? They’re happy.

I got DD a dentist Barbie and it’s really helped make her less scared of going.

I don’t know what a LOL is so I can’t comment on that

Eitherway, there’s way too much shaming what toys kids like going on in this thread (not this comment) Every kid is different. Every family is different. Let’s not be shaming each other over something so trivial.

I agree vinted is a good idea

Bunnycat101 · 26/09/2025 07:33

A mixture is fine but I also think some of her asks are a bit older than the average 3 year old. I absolutely hated lol dolls. Lots of them look like hookers and they’re really poorly made. I wouldn’t get them for a 3 year old. My girls knew I would hate them but were very excited when Santa got them some for stockings. I would get some nice dolls or accessories though. Those have had years of longevity. Barbies are also good especially for the bath. Mine have had lots of play out of those. I’ve also found polly pockets to be a bit of a waste of time. The pieces are small and get lost and the people are more delicate than they used to be when I loved them.

smileymylie25 · 26/09/2025 07:38

BengalBangle · 25/09/2025 21:30

At 3, my twin DDs had no concept of plastic tat, as it's not what they had been exposed to, but whatever. 🤷🏼‍♀️
I wouldn't even be discussing Christmas presents with a 3 year old in September.
Personally, no, I wouldn't be buying that sort of shit for my child(ren), but there's nowt wrong with buying stuff your child actively likes, so go ahead?!

And the winner of the most judgy, look at me I’m better then you post goes to……

NestaArcheron · 26/09/2025 07:46

“Mummy buys the better stuff”
For her, the Barbie IS the better stuff. She asked for it specifically- since when are dolls tat?! She’s 3! Buy her the toys she wants to play with for fuck sake.

“Where did she learn about them?” -
it’s called a TV. insert rant about screen time and not even owning a tv here

”I would never buy that stuff for my children”
So instead of gifting them something they would enjoy, and play with, you would choose to get them something YOU want them to play with instead. You are denying your child a childhood where they experience the magic of opening something they asked Santa for, just so you can act like you are superior. It’s sad for your kids.

Some of these comments are absolutely ridiculous. Give your small children a proper Christmas. They go to school for an education, not everything needs to be educational. Let them have fun and buy the sodding Barbie’s, for fuck sake.

Katflapkit · 26/09/2025 07:48

BengalBangle · 25/09/2025 21:30

At 3, my twin DDs had no concept of plastic tat, as it's not what they had been exposed to, but whatever. 🤷🏼‍♀️
I wouldn't even be discussing Christmas presents with a 3 year old in September.
Personally, no, I wouldn't be buying that sort of shit for my child(ren), but there's nowt wrong with buying stuff your child actively likes, so go ahead?!

OMG - get off your high horse

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 26/09/2025 07:51

Igotupagain · 25/09/2025 21:49

One of my DC wanted a bag of carrots for Christmas once, I obliged , he was delighted.
can you buy cycled rat from charity shops and a new educational toy of your choosing?
play cash registers and pretend shops are great for basic maths and teachers neg toddlers about work , social skills etc
i do find it a bit odd that you are discussing Xmas and gifts with a 3 year old. If you make Xmas about gifts then that is what it wiil be. Can’t you chat about making Xmas decorations and cards and games you will play and the relatives you will see on the big day., going to bed late,
mince pies for samta. divert her away from the importance of gifts.

Edited

Love “ cycled rat” 🤣

Stade197 · 26/09/2025 08:09

I'd buy a mixture of both, my 4 year old is really into superheroes so I buy him all the plastic figures, accessories, cars and headquarters etc that go with it, he also loves play doh/magic sand and his role playing and imagination are fantastic the way he plays with it all, his nursery and now school all tell me he has the best imagination

I let him free play alot but we do make learning games with it all so yesterday we made play doh hair for the figures and practiced cutting, when potty training we made play doh pottys & sinks for his characters and he smashed the training. We count the characters, talk about their colours and their superpowers and how they can use their powers to help people. Now my boy has started school he likes to set his characters up so they are all sitting listening to a teacher whilst he reads to them and make them do maths 😅 so there's lots of ways to make all the 'plastic tat' educational if you want them to learn from their toys

EmeraldShamrock000 · 26/09/2025 08:13

The little dolls are great for imaginative play. Teaching behaviours.
I spent hours when DD was little playing with tiny dolls, DD was naturally awkward, she still is, but the playing with the dolls really helped her social skills.
Each doll had a different voice.
Great memories now that she is 16, she'd rather die then wear sparkles and pink nowadays.

Needspaceforlego · 26/09/2025 08:21

I don't get why Barbie is being labelled tat either. Barbie can have a great number of adventures. She's been on the go for a heck of a long time (and Sindy before her). She's not going to be out grown before next Christmas.

LOL dolls I'm not so sure about.

To me plastic tat is cheap stuff that breaks after 5min of has limited use, like the lot McDonald's toys.

I just wouldn't buy too many toys. And I know its really hard to rein in what gets purchased between parents, grandparents, Aunties etc. But when you end up with toys that are hardly played with before they are out grown then you need to get rid it's depressing!

rainbow231 · 26/09/2025 08:52

Readyforslippers · 26/09/2025 06:57

Surprised you've not seen Barbie at a nursery. Im not sure what about them makes them tat though? Is that just for anything plastic? Most people that actually work in education know that open ended imaginative play, like Barbies or dress up, is far better for development that games and toys labelling themselves 'educational'.

Show quote history

I think Barbies are fine, as I’ve said we allowed them and just let the phase run its course. I had them myself. I don’t particularly think they’re tat as they do last if cared for, but they are plastic and so is all the packaging so I was responding to those objecting to ‘plastic tat’. Again, as I’ve said I’m no saint when it comes to plastic, it’s impossible to avoid it entirely. But at 3 I think good quality second hand is fine and should be utilised where you can.

I genuinely have never seen Barbies out and about anywhere near me at playgroups or pre-schools. I didn’t suggest that was the case everywhere. However I do know that some parents object to these types of toys in early years, because of the body shapes, made up faces etc so I assume that is why. it didn’t particularly occur to me at the time dd was interested in Barbies as she was only 2 or 3, but I have heard others discussing it more recently.

Calliopespa · 26/09/2025 09:03

Milliemoons · 26/09/2025 05:42

My parents would buy me the “better” stuff as a kid. I remember trying to be grateful but wishing I had the stuff I asked for. As an adult I realise that the stuff they bought me was actually more expensive and better quality but a child’s mind doesn’t work like that! Contrary to what a pp has said, I’d have Santa bring the educational stuff and have you give the stuff she wants. I read somewhere that you shouldn’t reserve the best presents for Santa to bring - why should he get all the credit after all!

I think because having a character who seems magical and mysterious and brings what you REALLY want seems so much more exciting for children than some guy who intrudes via the chimney to leave a pack of phonics flashcards and the stuff you didn't want, and parents are prepared to forgot the credit themselves to give their children that sense of wonder.

Also, at least then they only expect the "tat" once a year.

It's enormously exciting when Santa defies your parents and gets what you are normally not allowed.

Calliopespa · 26/09/2025 09:08

Needspaceforlego · 26/09/2025 08:21

I don't get why Barbie is being labelled tat either. Barbie can have a great number of adventures. She's been on the go for a heck of a long time (and Sindy before her). She's not going to be out grown before next Christmas.

LOL dolls I'm not so sure about.

To me plastic tat is cheap stuff that breaks after 5min of has limited use, like the lot McDonald's toys.

I just wouldn't buy too many toys. And I know its really hard to rein in what gets purchased between parents, grandparents, Aunties etc. But when you end up with toys that are hardly played with before they are out grown then you need to get rid it's depressing!

Although I totally agree that there is no reason Barbie can't be a toy to fire the imagination, I have to concede that I think of all toys Barbie is a bit too sexualised, booby and slim-waisted and probably inspires games of a trip to the hair salon more than finding a fossil in a mud pit or a portal to the land of talking animals. But anything to fire the imagination I guess! I wouldn't ban her if she's what a child wanted.

rainbow231 · 26/09/2025 09:19

Exactly. I’m playing devils advocate here because its not what I did, but think the objection is more that these types of dolls add to the pressure on girls to look a certain way at a young age. Didn’t particularly occur to me to care when dd had a Barbie phase, but can confirm that pressure to look a certain way is definitely a thing at age 10. Of course it comes from many sources, but as I said some people definitely object to these types of dolls on this basis.

am quite glad LOL dolls never came up!

Calliopespa · 26/09/2025 09:24

rainbow231 · 26/09/2025 09:19

Exactly. I’m playing devils advocate here because its not what I did, but think the objection is more that these types of dolls add to the pressure on girls to look a certain way at a young age. Didn’t particularly occur to me to care when dd had a Barbie phase, but can confirm that pressure to look a certain way is definitely a thing at age 10. Of course it comes from many sources, but as I said some people definitely object to these types of dolls on this basis.

am quite glad LOL dolls never came up!

Though at least LOL dolls are sort of cartoon-cute and sufficiently unrealistic that they aren't really a physical role model!

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 26/09/2025 09:24

This thread really has brought out the posters who have no interest in the actual question, but love to flex their ‘superior parenting’ muscles 🙄

For what it’s worth, I received a smyths toy catalogue in the post earlier this week, I would imagine they aren’t the only shop sending them out around now.
perhaps the OP let her child browse that for a bit, instead of the assumption that she’s glued to YouTube 24/7.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 26/09/2025 09:25

rainbow231 · 26/09/2025 09:19

Exactly. I’m playing devils advocate here because its not what I did, but think the objection is more that these types of dolls add to the pressure on girls to look a certain way at a young age. Didn’t particularly occur to me to care when dd had a Barbie phase, but can confirm that pressure to look a certain way is definitely a thing at age 10. Of course it comes from many sources, but as I said some people definitely object to these types of dolls on this basis.

am quite glad LOL dolls never came up!

Barbie’s have changed quite a bit now, they aren’t all the same size.

Tastaturen · 26/09/2025 09:26

A bit of both?
'Tat' can bring joy and encourage imagination at that age, just as much as the more educational stuff can. 👍

Calliopespa · 26/09/2025 09:27

Tastaturen · 26/09/2025 09:26

A bit of both?
'Tat' can bring joy and encourage imagination at that age, just as much as the more educational stuff can. 👍

Sums it up I think op.

And there's joy in getting what you really want.

Bradley28 · 26/09/2025 09:30

Buy her what she wants. Can’t imagine anything worse than wanting an LOL doll and being made to have something educational. I had my first Sindy doll at about 4 and it was the best thing ever. I’m nearly 50 and me and my friends can all still remember the stuff we weren’t allowed to have.

Digdongdoo · 26/09/2025 09:31

Buy her what she wants. But it's only September and she's only 3, she'll want something else by December anyway.

If it were me, I'd be buying that sort of stuff second hand because people are always trying to offload stuff their DC have outgrown. Get on vinted and get her all the plastic tat her little heart desires.

Getting kids educational stuff for Christmas would be like DH getting me new filters for the hoover. No thanks.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 26/09/2025 09:34

Loving the toy snobs, “my child only plays with toys made from organic materials and approved by educational psychologists”! 😂

LOL surprise isn’t tat. It’s flippin’ expensive, and also well made. It just looked different to the plastic stuff that was around when I was a kid, but styles change over time.

Buy her what she wants. If you go and buy a load of “better” toys instead she’s not going to instantly prefer those. If anything she’ll be more put off them because they’ll be a disappointment, and the stuff you refused to get her will become the forbidden joy she will want even more.

Iloveeverycat · 26/09/2025 09:49

At 3 I don't even think that I would have asked them. I probably started asking once they could write their own lists to santa.