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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that most job vacancies exist because people are leaving their manager, not the job itself?

32 replies

MyAmusedOpalCrab · 25/09/2025 12:58

Everyone always talks about “career moves” or “new opportunities” but in my experience, most people leave because they can’t stand their manager, not because they hate the actual work. A toxic or incompetent boss can make even a decent job unbearable. But no one really says it out loud, it’s always framed as something more neutral.

AIBU to think that behind most resignations, there’s a manager being quietly avoided?

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 25/09/2025 13:01

Opposite reason where I am.

Peccary · 25/09/2025 13:02

I'm job hunting because I can't see any progression where I am and I'm bored, I like my manager.

PollyBell · 25/09/2025 13:03

To think no one can say for 100% for people who do

McGregor33 · 25/09/2025 13:05

I know in my last job, multiple people left due to management. The job in itself was absolutely brilliant, the manager and higher up management were absolutely abysmal. Infact, in most exit interviews most of us stated management as a huge factor.

That said, our old manager left due to their manager, he was then replaced by someone with no experience but a love for authority. Within 2 months of new manager the whole team had left and had to be replaced by new starts. Manager still there but still people leaving 😂

louderthan · 25/09/2025 13:07

I would only ever leave my current job for significantly more money.

TheStroppyFeminist · 25/09/2025 13:08

It's probably a bit of both but yes, I agree, people often leave poor managers. Don't blame them!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 25/09/2025 13:11

I go to work for money, so when I move jobs it’s for progression or money, I don’t think I’m in the minority in that.

IjustbelieveinMe · 25/09/2025 13:12

I left my old job because of my manager. If it wasn’t for him I would’ve stayed, but I should be grateful he was a toxic egotistical misogynist who told me I wasn’t performing at a higher level because now I am earning 2 levels above that pay grade and in a much nicer appreciative environment.

TheZenOne22 · 25/09/2025 13:14

I’ve stayed in jobs for longer than I wanted because the team and managers were great and really supportive but the overall company wasn’t. Although I do know many people leave because of the management.

TheCheeryTurtle · 25/09/2025 13:19

No

Having a manager you hate doesn't make anyone stay, but people live for all sorts of reasons.

Having a dream manager doesn't make you stay either.

wantmorenow · 25/09/2025 13:21

Had a dream manager, but nothing could keep me in teaching any longer. Tried several new schools and ages of students. It was the job I left every time. 🤬

TheDandyLion · 25/09/2025 13:30

A bit of both, they run fast from a poor manager but look elsewhere a bit more cautiously if they need more money.

JustStopItNorasaurus · 25/09/2025 13:32

I heard it said once on MN that it's okay to 'sack your workplace'.

Loved that.

I sacked mine soon after. It was DEFFO the toxic atmosphere and the appallingly shit and weak management.

FaitesVosJeux · 25/09/2025 13:35

Oh goody. Another 'to think...' for us to ponder. OP you sure do do a lot of wondering. Are you really that bored?

IdaGlossop · 25/09/2025 13:38

A bad company with a good manager is survivable. A good company with a bad manager is not, or not for long.

MyAmusedOpalCrab · 25/09/2025 13:40

FaitesVosJeux · 25/09/2025 13:35

Oh goody. Another 'to think...' for us to ponder. OP you sure do do a lot of wondering. Are you really that bored?

It’s a discussion board. People post thoughts to discuss. Not sure why that bothers you?

OP posts:
Twistedfirestarters · 25/09/2025 13:44

I don't see how you can possibly surmise that most people leave their jobs for that reason? Of course people DO leave their jobs due to shit managers but MOST people seems a massive stretch to me.

MyAmusedOpalCrab · 25/09/2025 13:50

Twistedfirestarters · 25/09/2025 13:44

I don't see how you can possibly surmise that most people leave their jobs for that reason? Of course people DO leave their jobs due to shit managers but MOST people seems a massive stretch to me.

Maybe most is a stretch but it definitely feels common in my experience. I’ve just seen so many good people leave roles they were otherwise great at, purely because of poor management. Not saying it’s the only reason but I do think it’s more widespread than people admit.

OP posts:
YorkshireGoldDrinker · 25/09/2025 13:53

I don't mind my job, but I find it's much nicer when my manager isn't around. You know what they say: "Some people are like clouds, once they bugger off, it's a beautiful day!"

I'm in the tech industry and sometimes there are disagreements on how complex something might be and how a process should be or even just adding in a new process. I'm the only female on my team, so I suspect there could be an element of misogyny, but then it is a male-dominated role anyway. Most of the contention I have is a lack of basic common sense on the part of my manager.

Every manager I've had has been younger than me and my current manager is 6 years younger than me. It's like a clash of worlds sometimes. I have thought of leaving a few times, but then I had the same thought 3 months into the job and decided to stick it out and then those people who made things difficult eventually left. I'm coming up 11 years in the company next month.

More often than not, it's the people that make a job what it is, not the job itself.

ARichtGoodDram · 25/09/2025 13:56

I think it's "most people who leave a job they enjoy for a similar level job on similar pay likely leave because of managers/other staff" rather than most people generally.

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 25/09/2025 15:46

This thread came up because I searched 'I hate my manager' whilst taking a break from googling jobs! I can't get away from her quickly enough. Such a shame because I love the Preschool I work in, but can't cope with her incompetence and attitude any longer.

hadjustaboutenough · 25/09/2025 15:50

There are so many reasons, but I'd guess that most are leaving because something was bothering them, whether it's the broader environment, the commute, the manager, the pay, lack of flexibility, or their colleagues. The manager isn't always in control of most of the other possible factors.

Stressmess · 26/09/2025 15:33

I unfortunately am in this position now. I have been in my post a long time. I am experienced, efficient and good at what I do. I would be seen as dependable and very much the go to person. I have been working with my Line Manager for ages too and we have a good working relationship and work well together. He is solid, dependable and very much on the ball with things work wise. He wouldn't ask me to do anything which he wouldn't do himself. Unfortunately he will be due to retire in the near future which will leave a massive hole in knowledge and experience. The work we do would be niche and complex. We have already lost several knowledgeable and experienced staff members who haven't been replaced.

My Line Manager is currently on annual leave and I have been having to deal with his Line Manager. Where do I start? No communication from him, no support, doesn't take any responsibility for anything, just dumps stuff on you and expects you to get on with it. It just feels like we have less staff but I am getting more stuff just dumped on me with no extra thanks or money just extra stress!

Unfortunately we are being asked to come in to the office more. When I am at home I fume at him. I will be trying to avoid the days that he is in. I was content enough in my job but am now actively looking elsewhere because of poor management.

PermanentTemporary · 26/09/2025 15:37

I usually leave the job. My last move was because there was a part of the job that I was dreadful at and had been for years, and I didn’t think it was reasonable for me to ask to do the job without that bit. Plus it was physically draining me.

I left a job after a beloved manager left though.

Stressmess · 26/09/2025 16:15

I feel like i have probably got to as far as I can get in my job. Why have I stayed? A good working relationship with my Line Manager, mostly up until now working from home, reduced hours, flexible to fit round the kids.

As I mentioned good line manager is on holiday. Good line manager is like a buffer before bad line manager and now I am having to deal with bad line manager direct and don't like it one bit. I'm sure my DH is getting fed up of me saying flipping X done this today and done that and giving off about him. He is one of those people that I think can go in to an interview and talk the talk but does the bare minimum in work, palms work that he should be doing on to other people and doesn't take responsibility for anything and for a management position doesn't have any people skills Angry Rant over!