We have been married nearly 30 years. He has always had a higher libido than me and considers erotic activity of any kind fundamental. I do see where he is coming from but I find that I cannot give him what he wants. Touching, kissing etc. is not exciting enough for him and he considers all touch is sexual/erotic so he only touches me in those situations. He would love to experiment with splosh and other things which I can ocasionally do and even enjoy but always goes beyond what I can deal with so I struggle.
This is very hard for both of us. He has a life limiting illness so wants to make the most of the time he has left. We don't know how long that may be. I would actually not mind if he did have someone to have his kind of fun with but we still love each other and he does need me.
He is very angry and upset about this situation and I find it very painful.
He finds other things in life trivial. Things that are important to me are meaningless to him so we both find that there is no reciprocation.