Me & dh separated a few years back, I stayed in home to make transition smooth for ds and prioritise his friendships at that point. I always wanted a fresh start in a new home but focused on ds not having too much change. Recently neighbour noise/behaviour has gotten much worse, so it feels like a good time to move. My ds is now 15. The thing is his secondary is in an expensive area of London. We're in a flat in next borough but close to his school, hence he's there. But he now has a alot of friends all in expensive area, in opposite direction. Not to mention his existing friends, who he walks to school with, sometimes hangs out in evenings. I'd like to stay in my area but move in the cheaper opposite direction (as I will now have less budget than current flat) - if that makes sense??? My budget is fine, just not for his mates' part of London. He's agreed to a small catchment area where I've run out of housing choice in the September rush. Plus, I don't even like where his friends live, even if I had a bigger budget. We found a flat but it was on a busy main shopping/bars road, whereas I'd like a side road. He doesn't care where he lives, as long as it's close to mates/school. I really want a home, I can feel comfortable in long term. To get to the point/question;
AIBU - to move to a flat I like/can afford somewhere nicer but he'll be away from his friends and a 13 min cycle/42 min walk to school? And even further to mates homes? Even though it's same area where they often meet most weekends to eat at Nando's.
YABU - do not move further away- rent if needed/live in tiny flat/main busy road/an area you're not keen on, to keep ds happy and close with mates/school. So he can walk to school w/a mate and never be too far away. A 10 min cycle is a long distance to a teenager and it's not great for him to live in area w/no friends on his doorstep, friendship and living close to one another is important for teens.
YANBU - to ask a 15 year old to travel further to school. A 13 minute cycle ride is do-able or walk/bus combo taking 25/30 mins. No, he won't then be walking w/a mate but he can see them at sports clubs/weekends fine and evening computer games on phone, will remain the same. Looking for an affordable home is important and he can adapt, he may always resent that extra 10 mins cycle ride but you'll both have hopefully a nicer home (than expensive area).
I see an argument for both, so any input helpful. As I've been stopping myself looking in an area I'd like but I also don't want to rent or live somewhere long-term I don't like, which may mean another move in 4 years time, when he leaves. I have some health issues, which could get worse over next few years, and I wonder about the toll of another move. We've always had a good relationship but this may really test it.