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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don’t look like anyone in my family

26 replies

LadySparksWitch · 24/09/2025 22:48

I don’t look like my parents and this was always something that bothered me as a child. I look nothing like my brother either. Features and hair colour are totally different. I do have blue eyes like my dad, but blue eyes aren’t that uncommon anyway.
Usually if you don’t look like your parents, you resemble another family member e.g. grandparent, cousins, aunties etc. but I don’t see it.

I’m starting to get seriously concerned that maybe they picked up the wrong baby. If that was a possibility in the late 80s when I was born.

OP posts:
LongDuckDong · 24/09/2025 22:50

I would have to do an ancestry dna test to see what I could find out_

CozyCoupe · 24/09/2025 22:51

Nah its really not that unusual.
My middle DS bears absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to his 2 siblings, me or his Dad and nobody can really tell who he looks like. I can assure you he's definitely ours!

Arlanymor · 24/09/2025 22:52

The only way to tell is via DNA. There must be more to this than looks though - is there another reason why you feel almost 'the odd one out'? Also certain characteristics like gorgeous red hair can skip generations.

Apocketfilledwithposies · 24/09/2025 22:54

Is there anything other than appearance behind you feeling like this op?

I'd be tempted to buy everyone ancestry kits for Xmas tbh.

pinkdelight · 24/09/2025 22:54

Me neither and I never thought much of it then found out in my 30s I was conceived with donor sperm. I am my mum’s biologically but must look more like the donor I guess. So you could be right. I was born in the 70s when there wasn’t the same guidance on telling your kids where they sprang from. You might want to do a test.

SadLucy · 24/09/2025 22:54

I don’t think it’s that unusual. I know lots of people who look nothing like their family.

LadySparksWitch · 24/09/2025 22:56

I’m a natural blonde, my parents and my brother are both dark haired.
Facially I think there’s very little resemblance.

I did one of those age filters once and I think I looked like my maternal grandmother, but when I showed my mum she couldn’t see it at all.

OP posts:
Cece92 · 24/09/2025 23:01

This is the same as me. My mum dad and sister were all bald as babies then mum and sister had blonde curly hair and dad had blonde hair. My sister and dad both have like a grey/blue colour eyes. My mum like a green hazel colour all very pale skinned and slim lol! My sister looks 50% of my mum and 50% of my dad. Me I have tanned skin, dark brown eyes and was born with very thick black spikey hair. I have hips, bum and chest. I look facially nothing like my mum or dad at all. Dimple in my chin and on one cheek no family member has that 😂 everyone always says I’m the posties. It is strange I genuinely don’t look like anyone. The only person I can think of is my mums bio mum but I’ve never met her and my mum hasn’t seen her since she was like 7 so can’t really remember what she looks like (I think she’s just saying this) xx

BauhausOfEliott · 24/09/2025 23:02

This isn’t at all unusual - and the chances of your parents ‘picking up the wrong baby’ are close to zero. Also, just because you don’t see a resemblance yourself, that doesn’t mean other people wouldn’t see one. Nobody is objective about their own appearance. FWIW I looked so dramatically different to any other baby in my family when I was born that my poor mum got sick of people making jokes about it, but I’m definitely not a changeling.

APTPT · 24/09/2025 23:05

None of my siblings resemble any of the others or our parents. Apparently I have my great grandmother's legs, though? Lol.

It means nothing OP.

My kids all look like my husband. Guess his genes are stronger.

SkaneTos · 24/09/2025 23:08

Sometimes it's difficult to see for yourself who you look like.

If you ask one of your parents "Who in our family/extended family do I look like?", what would they say?

You have blue eyes like your father.
Are there any blonde/blond persons in your family tree? Among the grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles?

gottakeeponmoving · 24/09/2025 23:17

We have 3 DC's who are all the same sex. Eldest and youngest could pass as identical twins and look very much like my DH and his sister, Middle one looks nothing like anyone either side of the family. I can assure you all 3 are mine, they didn't leave my side from birth to going home.
DNA can throw up all kinds of surprises,

LadySparksWitch · 25/09/2025 09:23

Thanks for all your replies. Interestingly my son looks exactly like me.

OP posts:
didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 25/09/2025 09:25

Do you know if your parents were monogamous when you were born?

catSlaveToTwo · 25/09/2025 09:32

My full brother and sister look nothing alike at all - but both look like me. I have same colouring as brother and same face shape and features as sister.

My kids are peas in a pod always have been - everyone know they are related just by seeing them. DH looks nothing ike either parent really - though his hair was when younger like MIL - family insist he looks like maternal uncle - he doesn't - one of his cousins other side doesn't look far off him but if past in street wouldn't assume related.

FuzzyWolf · 25/09/2025 09:33

Have you asked your mum? Gauged her reaction?

I don’t think my children look at all alike but others always comment on how similar they are but I really don’t see it. However, I think one looks like me and another looks like DH. Given other people’s views of how similar they are to each other, I have to believe that the reality is that all of them share characteristics from both parents.

Pricelessadvice · 25/09/2025 09:34

I don’t look like anyone in my family either. I joke that my real parents are millionaires who left the hospital with the wrong baby!

WhereAreMyAirpods · 25/09/2025 09:37

I have three children, all full siblings to each other. Son 1 is blond with hazel/green eyes. Daughter is blond and has brown eyes. Son 2 is a redhead with blue eyes.

Also I think resemblance isn't that easy to see. People tell me that my older son is very like his dad but I don't see it. Ancestry tests are one way of sorting out whether you are definitely related to siblings/parents but you'd need to test more than just yourself.

UnicornLand1 · 25/09/2025 09:54

It's possible.
I'm white, my husband's brown. 1 kid is brown, 1 kid is white. The white kid doesn't look like us at all! One day I saw my mom's passport and and it hit me - he has his grandma's eye shape (not colour though).

BadWoIf · 25/09/2025 09:55

I think it's hard to spot familial resemblance in yourself, but do other people ever say things like, "Oh, your smile is just like your Aunty Janes's"?

What about other characteristics and personality traits? Do you have the same body shape, way of walking, ability to roll your tongue (or not) as anybody else in the family? Do you love collecting things but hate mushrooms, for example, and does anybody else in the family have similar preferences?

Freeatlast001 · 25/09/2025 10:10

My friend did not look like anybody in her family. When people first met her they thought she was mixed race. My friend had been told that her great grandfather was black and she looked like him.

Well, her great grandfather was not black. Her mother had an affair and my friend was a result of this. Her DH knew but they agreed to work on things and not tell my friend the truth. All was good until they went through a horrible divorce when my friend was 26 and her " Dad " told her the truth.

TheeNotoriousPIG · 25/09/2025 10:37

If it is of any reassurance, while the women in my family all look the same (though with less wrinkles, in my case!), the men look nothing alike, nor do they look like anyone in our family!

I also had a blue-eyed, blonde-haired friend who had to warn her (blonde-haired and green-eyed) partner that, if they ever had a child together, they might look mixed-raced as one or two were born in each generation of her family, thanks to an Afro-Caribbean ancestor!

FeatheryFlorence · 25/09/2025 10:43

My elder daughter doesn’t look like me, her sister or her father. The family link became very clear when we met up with my second cousin and her family - DD1 looks exactly like her DD2. The likeness is uncanny, except DD1 has dark hair and green eyes and her cousin is blonde and blue eyed. They both resemble my Dad’s side of the family.

miserableandworried · 25/09/2025 11:27

Me neither. Turns out my dad was not my biological dad.

VoltaireMittyDream · 25/09/2025 11:32

i never looked anything like anyone in my family. But in middle age, as our faces sag in similar ways, my brother and I look more and more alike - and very like our late father.

I’m the only one with a massive nose though, which feels unfair.