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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sister in law staying for too long!

3 replies

Habesha91 · 24/09/2025 22:04

Hello

My sister in law decided to come and stay with us from another country beginning of this month. Initially, I thought she was staying for a week max but it turned out she's staying for a month as she's planning to find a temp job and make some money. The reason for this is that she just left a toxic job from where she was and wanted to try for new job here in the UK.

To begin with, I'm such a private and introverted person and I don't like talking a lot, appreciate my peace and want to left alone most of the time even when it's me and hubby. What annoys me is that she said she's due to start a part time job next month so why would she want to come here and find a job? Her reason is since she was given a settle status by immigration she has to come and work here in order to "preserve " her status. To be honest, this is not true because when me and my husband searched for this rule online she doesn't really have to work here, she can just come here as visitor and her permit will be fine as long as she doesn't stay out from the country for 5 years. We explained this to her but she won't listen and still insist to find a job.

She just sits around the house doing nothing, wakes up late like 10.30 in the morning, demands we go out and eat and all sorts when reality me or my husband have to pay for it. I just feel so uncomfortable in my own house like I can't even relax and can't talk to my hubby the way I want to.

Am I being nasty or I've got the right to be annoyed with the whole situation? Not sure how many of you allow family members to stay at your home. Thanks 🙏🏽

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 24/09/2025 22:06

Will your DH talk to her? I’d be giving her a date that she has to leave by.

Endofyear · 24/09/2025 22:30

I think a month is a long time to have a houseguest, even if they're family! My MIL used to come for 3 weeks at a time from abroad and even though I was very fond of her, it was hard going. I don't think you'd be unreasonable to tell her you can only accommodate her for 2 weeks and ask her to make other arrangements after that.

TheCheeryTurtle · 24/09/2025 22:40

what about your husband? What does he think.

I would host my sisters for a month, or more, if they needed. It's not super comfortable, but they're family, that's what you do.

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