can't cope with 7yo ds anymore

[BeautyKeeper]

hi ive never posted before but i honestly dont know what else to do. my ds is 7 and i cant cope with him anymore. i feel like im failing all the time.

hes completely out of control. he runs straight into the road if i dont grab him, he climbs up furniture and tries to open the windows, he throws things and smashes them, hes hit me and other kids at school. if i tell him no he screams and calls me names. bedtime is awful, he just wont stay in his room, sometimes its midnight before hes asleep. i have to keep the door locked in the day cos hes tried to run out.

school say hes “just lively” and gp said hes still young but i know its not normal. i asked about help but got told theres a waiting list. i tried one of those parenting courses but it just made me feel judged and i left in tears. i literally have no family, my mum passed when i was a teenager and my dad has his own problems. its just me.

hes also really loving sometimes and that makes it harder cos i feel awful for even saying i cant cope. but its constant and im exhausted.

i dont know what to do anymore.

I know it's easy to say but go back to your GP or possibly another doctor in the surgery, contact the school every day until one or both of them refer you somewhere, possibly child psychology. Each school usually has someone nominated to work with them so it shouldn't be difficult for them to do. Children and families within social work might be helpful too. There are obviously waiting lists but he's not going to get any higher on a waiting list by not being on it in the first place.

Trust your instincts.

That sounds very difficult. I'm so sorry.

ADHD, perhaps? Go back to your GP and insist on being put on the waiting list for a referral, or pay privately to speed it up if you can. It sounds so tough for you both. If I’m right, he needs meds which should change his behaviour for the better. I’ve read various books by doctors about ADHD, and a couple of unproven theories they mentioned that might help a bit straight away are trying him drinking a coffee, if he will (I’m thinking a fairly weak and milky one here, but not decaf, the real stuff) and/or omega 3 tablets or multivitamins with omega 3. No idea if they work officially, but they’re easy and pretty harmless to try out meanwhile. Hope things improve for you, OP.

Look in to right to choose for a ASD or ADHD assessment as a starting point as wait times much less than the local NHS offering usually. I'd also expect school to be able to signpost and support too. Your council website should also have a page on "Local Offer" - this will lost lots of services that may be relevant and helpful with support.