Would you do this? Want DH to move out..

[Mondayoverthinker]

Me and DH are at the end of the road, I applied for a divorce yesterday and I’m trying my best to stick to my guns as I know if we don’t separate I will be unhappy for another however many more years.

The house is rented He never wanted to be added to the tenancy so we just left things as they were. We were meant to buy a house together but it just never happened.

He applied for council housing but he is only entitled to a one bedroom unless I put the child benefit claim in his name.

I have told him I don’t feel comfortable doing that as I will have to ask him for the money every month and I would just rather not.

Private rent near us is crippling so I completely get it but I think it’s just one of those things he will just have to suck up for now.

AIBU? Wwyd

No I wouldn't give him the child benefit. With a one bedroom apartment he could have a sofa bed in the lounge for when the DC stay over or like you say he will need to privately rent.

I have told him I don’t feel comfortable doing that as I will have to ask him for the money every month and I would just rather not.

If you are the one using it then you need to be the one claiming it. Out of interest how often would he be looking after the children, in the day and/or overnights. Realistically rather than hopeful. Most men stop having overnights quite quickly unless they have another woman around.

No dont give him the child benefit as then he can claim the child elements on UC and you will be stuffed. The main carer claims it.
he can get a sofa bed for the lounge and keep the bedroom for the kids?

Can he move to a cheaper area?

He could do but the commute to work and taking the kids to school wouldn’t make it worth it.

He won’t do this because it’s unfair on the children apparently and doesn’t believe there life should have to change just because of me.

Do not give him the child benefit

Is he taking them to school on a genuine 50:50 basis?

Why are people so entitled, your husband, not you OP. He’s (miraculously) being allocated social housing and it’s not good enough for him. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him using a sofa bed, and having bunk beds for the children in the bedroom. He’s trying to guilt trip you so he can get more. Stick to your guns.

It's all theoretical because he won't be given council housing just like that in the majority of areas. What he might be entitled to, and what he might get will be miles apart.

Don't give him the child benefit on this basis.

Has he actually been allocated a council/HA flat? Or only put on the list? As a single man, he will be so far down the priority list that round here, it would be a minor miracle for him to be offered anything at all, let alone more than a single bed flat.
If you are really planning to be equal parents, you need to find a way to ensure you can both afford to live. That might mean both of you living somewhere less than ideal in the short term while you get back on your feet.

How many dc? Unless he has them 50:50 they won’t count for the property size.

A friend of mine has 3 disabled children and wants to leave her dh. She was told it’s a 10 year wait for a council house!!!. If he throws her out and she’s homeless the council would have to put them in a hotel or air bnb.

Do not give him the child benefit.
You can ask him to leave as his name is not on the residency.
It is not your job to fix this.

sort yourself out he can sort himself out child benefit goes to the person the child lives with, if you transfer them you are saying they look after the child not you.