To ask where do mums find the time?!

[Yoyomelon]

I'm going on a girls holiday with my friends. It's the first time we have done this since our twenties and now we are all turning 40. In prep for the holiday because all my friends are babes I've been getting my nails, waxing, highlights etc done (which is not something i ever do anymore as i work full time and have kids) but it amazes me how some mums manage to stay so put together getting their roots/nails done every 6 weeks. I was 3 and half hours getting my highlights done yday plus another 2 hours getting my nails done today, I can handle the cost but where on earth are you getting the time!!!!

Depends on the age of the children. I have a toddler so don’t have much time. By the time I’m 40, my toddler will be in her teens so I’d have more time. Maybe your friends booked time off work.

when my children were babies, week end was the only time so my husband could look after them. We had a tight budget so only prioritise my hair every so many weeks. After loosing my hair to chemo, it s every 6 weeks on the dot! I even already have my christmas appt!
i take a morning off mid week.

manicures on my lunch break
pedicures evening/late afternoon or week ends
i only do manicures when I go out and want to have my nails done so not regularly as I hate shellac for it does to my nails afterwards.
in between i put the manicurist transparent pink on. Love it and help my nails and super easy to do it yourself.

I can’t imagine wasting my time or money on the things you described, but most adults can organise their lives to have some time to pursue their own interests.

The mothers I know who spend a lot of time on grooming on a regular basis are SAHMs and they go to appointments when the kids are at school.

I have three children and I have all the time in the world. I could do all that while they are at school.

No spare money for that sort of stuff though.

Obviously my DH takes care of the kids when I'm not there, that's not the issue. It's just I feel like we are chasing our tail constantly and there is just no way that I could spend 5 hours sitting in a chair every 6 weeks. My husband works every 2nd weekend and there are the endless birthday parties (kids are little so not old enough to just drop off i have to stay) plus swimming/sports all while trying to fit in exercise for myself and quality time as a family.
If there was a nail/hair appt that could do both at the same time at 5am then maybe I could fit it in but im just in awe of these women who manage it.
They definitely aren't taking holidays every 6 weeks to get it done..

It’s really not that hard to understand, surely?

My eyebrows take about 20 minutes. I get them done once a month.

Nails take an hour. I hardly ever get them done, but when I do, they last for 3 weeks.
Both salons are open until 8pm on Thursdays and Fridays, as well as all day on Saturday.

My highlights take 2 hours, maybe 3 of the salon is busy, but again, I only go every 8 weeks.

Many of my friends get their lashes and waxing done too, again, it’s only an hour every 3 weeks or so

Well as I've said I work full time.. so obviously "when they are in school" is not an option

I had a mobile hairdresser who came to the house and did my hair and the kids, and sometimes my mum or sister so we just did that on a Saturday booked every 12 week, no childcare needed (not highlights though). I also got nails or brows done either in my lunch hour at work or on a weekend, also went to the gym or swimming regularly and the kids were with my DH. Still managed to fit in plenty of family time and activities and DH had his own free time for exercise and hobbies. As long as both parents are capable of looking after the kids alone I don’t really see the issue. There are lunch hours, evenings after work, days off annual leave and weekends so plenty of free time even if you have kids with a man capable of parenting his own kids.
DC are older now but it hasn’t made much difference except they pay for their own hair and have their nails done too.

My point is its 6 hours every 6 weeks.
I would need to get to the salon bang on 5pm which was fine this week I finished a little earlier from work but I couldn't get away with that every month and most salons want you in at 4pm latest for highlights.
Between work, kids activities, housework, school stuff, family time, exercise.... it just seems impossible to me

Genuine question what kind of nails take less than an hour my gels took 90 mins yday

I wish I could find the time I really can’t right now. I work 4 days a week and my day off during the week I have my daughter to look after. My husband works Saturdays so the only day we have is Sunday and salons are all closed. Some may think it’s pathetic or a waste of money etc but I know I’d feel much better about myself if I felt more put together. I used to go to the gym regularly, get my nails, eyebrows and waxing done monthly and hair done every 3 months. My daughter is almost 2 and a half and I’ve not been to the gym since I went back to work when she was 10 months old, last had my hair done in March and have been waxed maybe once since she was born and do my eyebrows myself.

I totally get it. Just not enough hours in the day. When the kids are bigger it'll be our time to thrive!

Exactly this

I don't know anyone who does all of those or would spend the money on it to be honest. Most of my friends have natural nails and don't pay for lashes, tan or extensions either. People I know who do these are younger, work part time or don't have kids. Some have married divorced men who like that look and are happy to pay for it while they don't work.

Really it's very unlikely anyone with a baby would want very long nails as they'd be a health risk with nappies!

All my friends do is the hairdresser which for highlights that about half have does take over an hour. We'd be lucky to get a massage gifted in the year or the odd pedicure before summer. Hair only needs doing every month really so say 2 hours a month actually in a salon if you are low maintenance.

Well I don’t think it’s much of a mystery is it really? Of course it depends on what you personally prioritise but working mums would go on their days off, with someone else to watch the kids, and if they don’t work during the week, they’d go while the child/ren were at school or childcare.

It’s about time for yourself child free, I have never had my nails done but did have a long hair appointment every 6 weeks for many years till I became allergic to hair dye. I also worked FT with a commute of 45 mins each way.

DH looked after them as he is also their parent, DH did as much housework as me, plus I did always have a cleaner.

There is also a persons natural energy and efficiency levels. I am very good at multi tasking and keeping things in my head. Some people need to write lists and have to ponder decision making, it’s pretty much instant for me. Because I can process all permutations so fast. I can read and take in the information at an abnormally high speed.

I retired 5 years ago I still remember all the codes to the finance system and all my log ins, the same for my previous employer thinking about it and I left there in 1999, heads like a filing cabinet. Not quite a photographic memory but similar, DS brain processes like me. We are uber efficient. The one bad thing is it makes me a bit inpatient.

I take my work laptop to the hair dressers with me amd book it as a private appointment in my work diary. For nails, I soak off at home and get them done when i can - DD9 likes to come with so she gets a pedicure and manicure too (with normal polish) then reads a book until I'm finishes. Waxing I can normally fit in over lunch

I think people may just have a different lifestyle to you and different hair/hairdressers! I had one hairdresser that took a long time, and I just finished work a bit earlier and had the appointment in the evening. Once every 6-8wks doesn’t seem a big ask. I have a hairdresser that comes to my house now, and she’s much quicker. A full head of highlights plus toner and a cut takes about three hours and I’m able to be on my laptop so don’t have to catch up with work after. I do this every 2-3 months as my hair is blonde so the regrowth isn’t too bad.

You can paint your nails yourself in the evening if you don’t have time for a salon. I’ve never known gels to take over an hour. I suppose if it’s your first time they may have had to spend longer on the manicure part?

For the most part though, these aren’t very regular things. A lot of people exercise for an hour 2-3 times a week, so it’s less time than that!

wondering if I’m getting something different done because it’s no where near 90 minutes for gel polish when I get it.

5 mins to file, shape and do cuticles. Then a base coat goes on one hand and it’s in the UV thing for 30 seconds while she does the other hand, then that one goes in the UV while she does a coat of colour on the first hand. That repeats a few times alternating hands but working continuously for at most a total of 4 coats.

its done in 30 minutes at most.

It’s Mumsnet not the gates of heaven - people are allowed to judge. You are judging her judging …

People know very different types of people, and some “types” hold personal views about other “types”.

I judge other women who spend hours and money on nails, lashes, and hair - and I’m quite sure I am judged in return for looking largely unkempt, and spending my time and money on books and holidays.

Just don't bother? I have my hair cut every 8 weeks or so, paint my nails at home, shave body hair in the bath and put on a bit of makeup when I feel that I need to. If you want to go all Barbie doll with highlights and two hour nails that's fine, but it's not compulsory.

Did I say it was compulsory? I was just curious how other women manage to find the time to do it.

Ah OK mine was gel extensions

I think most don't, that's your answer. No-one I know does that stuff on a regular basis, or even before holidays. We are all working parents and don't have the time/don't value spending our time that way.