Anyone later become friends with an ex?

[Lyma78]

Bumped into my ex recently after not speaking since our breakup a few years ago. I vowed I'd never speak to him again after the way things ended but I suppose time is a healer. We chatted only briefly as I was with other people, and I felt like it would have been nice to talk for longer and I sensed he felt similar. I would never, ever get involved with him again romantically, though. I'll not be contacting him as he ended things, but maybe again we'll cross paths and chat more - AIBU?

My ex-husband is a close friend. I see him most weeks, and we have been on day trips and short camping trips together. It’s definitely possible. I am on friendly terms with two other exes but don’t see them as often.

idk 🤷‍♀️ it probably depends on each person and each couple’s circs. I cannot see the point, one person usually hankers after the other. Why set yourself up for heartache. If there’s kids involved obviously that’s different.

In the late 80s, I split up with someone who then got together with someone I knew. They had a child and were together for 18 years. We all stayed friends all that time.

A couple of years after they split up, and totally unconnected, I ended my marriage. Three years after that, we got together and were incredibly happy for 10 years, until he died.

Yes we are, ex husband and I. There were many years where we had little to do with each other but over recent years we go out with our adult children together, even a holiday with them all and also I meet with him for lunch from time to time. It's nice but appreciate it probably isn't for many.

I’m still friends with the guy I was with for three years (and lived with for two) before I started dating my now DH (or 26 years). Ex was an usher at our wedding and is godfather to our youngest.

Lesbian here, and it’s VERY common for us to stay friend with exes- to the point where it’s a cliche! I’m still friends with all of mine…

I’m godmother to my last exes kid, and was also her MOH when she got married!

I'm good friends with two exes. I ended both relationships for reasons that were more to do with circumstances than either of the guys, and we remained on cordial terms.

I would say I am friends with 50% of my exes.

I have an ex that broke my heart and I was devastated when we split, years ago, but haven't spoken until recently when we got back in touch regarding a business proposition, and are now dealing with each other on that front. Was weird for the initial chat, but passed quickly and now seems normal.

I'm friends with 3 exes.

Ex 1 - childhood sweethearts for 3 years, I broke it off as I wasn't secure in his friendship with another girl (certainly was sure about her intentions at the time though). Been in touch via FB and then in person for 15+ years, happy both ways.

Ex 2 - again 3 years, I broke it off again as I was at uni and he cheated on me. Wasn't going anywhere and I was a bit meh about it in the end. Again reconnected via FB. He's subsequently disappeared off the face of the earth.

Ex 3 - 12 months whirlwind relationship with BIG feelings. He was an ace human being and I broke it off because he was kind of a rebound and we were in very different places in our lives. Have been in contact over the years, met up a few times but missed joint parties with mutual friends (genuine prior engagements but would have been completely ok).

Others have just fallen by the wayside never to meet again, I have no curiosity or animosity.

Exh I wouldn't pee on if he was on fire. He hurt me so badly I can never forgive him for what he put me and the dc through. Fortunately kids are adults now so no direct contact. Kids know I will be (and have always been) the bigger person so meeting for weddings and graduations will be fine as far as I am concerned, he knows exactly what he's done and will likely take a VERY back seat. Coward.

Bloke here

My ex wife and I stayed friends for some 20 years until she died of Covid

Any passion had long gone from our marriage before we separated. We were more like brother and sister and were on good terms. Not being together meant that the irritations (on both sides) weren't there any more and we supported each other. She moved to another part of the country and I did visit on a number of occasions (quite often to go to the theatre)

After a while I stopped that (I was also then with my current partner who was fully aware of the situation) but we spoke at least weekly on the phone until lockdown when her health deteriorated. The hospital regularly contacted me and said that I had been a very good advocate for her. I'm glad I could do that.

I'm friends with two of my exes. Both nice guys, just not for me, nor me for the.

First was my first love, college bf. Really nice guy but we wanted different things in life as we got older. Couldn't fault him and he is a married to a fantastic women who is far more suited to than me and they are very happy. I've grown closer to her over the years too.

Another one probably shouldn't have ever gone further than friendship. We adore each other and have lots in common etc. but the attraction just isn't really there for either of us but admittedly we did try to force it at one stage.

Others there's no bad blood between us but we don't see each other anymore but would happily chat if we randomly bumped into each other.

I'm very lucky in that all of my exs were decent guys- we just weren't right for each other.

I vowed I'd never speak to him again after the way things ended

This would be key, why would you want be friends with someone who did something that made you feel / say that?

Me and one of my significant exes split because of valid reasons not connected to either of us. We are mildly friendly and still send jokes etc.
I am very friendly with one of my ex fuck buddies. We share the same interests and humour. But a relationship would never work. If I’m single and he’s single we shag now and again. I’ve been with my OH for a year and a bit now though.

I'm on very friendly terms with my ex (children's dad). He comes round for coffee, the kids birthdays and Sunday dinner quite often. It took a couple of years before we got to the friends stage though. But I'm glad we did. If anything we get on better now than when we were together....🤔

Yes.

I went to his subsequent wedding and he came to mine.

Drifted over subsequent years though. Probably haven't seen him for about 7 years. But if I did see him, I would give him a hug and have a chat.

Yes, I was very friendly with my first big love, until he died a few years ago. We became friends about 20 years after we broke up though!

I'm also close friends with my ex-husband and his wife - he is one of my emergency contacts.

Then there are a couple of exes I am distantly friends with - see eachother maybe once a year or so, stay in touch on FB etc - but again, 10-15 years had passed before we reconnected .

My most recent ex was the most serious relationship I’ve had yet we almost instantly stopped talking to each other after the relationship ended. I sent him a happy birthday text a few weeks after the split and that was that.

I have absolutely no desire to get back together or be in each other’s lives in any meaningful way, but I find completely ignoring me to be childish. It has made me view the relationship in a different light and focus on the negatives, so perhaps in the long run it’s good because I’ll never think ‘what if’.

In my own childish, petty way I wish we were in touch so he could see how great I’m doing. He was against a big life change (one of the reasons we split) which I went ahead with alone and which led to me meeting DP, and a part of me wants to say “I told you it would work out”.

I was heartbroken at the time, he was cold, said he didn't love me.

Yes, I am friends with all but one of my ex partners.

I am sort of friendly with my ex, the father of my children, because it is easier for the kids when they're planning events, Christmas etc. I think he thinks I like him, but secretly I think he is a complete jerk. The reason I think he is a jerk is because he, objectively is. But we all play the game and it's all tolerable.

I'm still good friends with a couple of former flings but those were never relationships as such. I've never had an acrimonious breakup though, I've never got to the stage of loathing an ex.

One of my good friends has an uncanny gift for maintaining wholesome friendships with his exes. He got married recently and no fewer than four exes were present, another lives abroad and couldn't make it but she did come to the stag do, and one of them was his best woman. His wife has become good friends with at least two of them and all their current partners were there too. I've only ever known one of his relationships to end badly (and that was the one he was in when I first met him, we were all very young).

It also doesn't seem like a weird situation when you talk to them because the reasons are obvious - he's a great person, intelligent and thoughtful etc, and so are all the women he's dated (all of whom are now good friends of me too).

I would say I'm 'friendly' towards rather than 'friends' with my exs (apart from 2 that I actively dislike and avoid, most I feel quite neutral towards). I'd say hi if I saw them and stop to have a chat to catch up. One who lives overseas so we might exchange messages on FB once or twice a year.

There's only 1 or 2, I genuinely care for as a friend with no lingering romantic feelings and would consider an actual friend though.

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