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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I give up on her?

2 replies

heybabeyourhairsalright · 23/09/2025 15:28

My friend and I have known each other for a long time. We worked together and our children went to school together. We are now both in our late 50s and don’t see each other much anymore. No big fall out or anything just less contact since the kids grew up.

Every year she sends me a birthday card. sometimes sends a gift and then also texts to say ‘Happy Birthday’ and ‘I look forward to seeing you soon’ or ‘Hope we can catch up soon’.

However, if I text back asking if she’d like to meet up for a coffee she ignores me. I’ve messaged on WhatsApp to ensure she has received and read my message but no reply whatsoever.

My question is should I now give up on the friendship? This has happened on more than one occasion and I don’t want to look like an idiot by continuing sending messages into the ether! I’m confused by the mixed messages but I’ve always valued her as a friend. When we meet up in group situations she’s always keen to chat. What would you do?

You are being paranoid- keep trying-
You are being unreasonable

Give up and leave her be! -
You are not being unreasonable .

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 23/09/2025 15:32

Continue to exchange cards (if you like doing that. Don't if its a chore). Enjoy her company when you do see her in group situations. Don't bother suggesting meet-ups. Don't think too much about it.

outingouting · 23/09/2025 15:33

I don't think she wants to meet. So if you want to chat to her when you see her, do. Otherwise I wouldn't message her to meet up.

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