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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Annoying women at the gym AIBU?

44 replies

Spookygoose · 23/09/2025 14:40

I go to a group strength training gym, almost all the group are women. I’ve started to notice how much many of them seem to play up to the stereotype of a weak, silly, giggly woman. When the (male) instructor is explaining a weights exercise many of them will look aghast, as if they couldn’t possibly do a bicep curl with the 3kg weight he’s demonstrating. Then they’ll act all flustered around the dumbbell as if they don’t know how to pick it up, or do a dramatic scream if one of the weight plates makes a loud noise on a machine when it goes down. Some will giggle and ask for a lighter weight before they’ve even tried to lift the one they’ve been given. Others do a really dramatic performance of lifting fairly light, manageable weights as if they’re trying to lift a car above their heads. There’s a lot of childish giggling and “don’t make me do this!” And “I can’t do anymore!” (After 2 or 3 reps). It’s so annoying! These are young & middle-aged, healthy looking women, who have been going to the gym for a long time, so clearly know what they’re doing. Why are they pretending to be so weak & pathetic?!

OP posts:
chipsticksmammy · 23/09/2025 22:22

Maybe time to find a new gym? Honestly, my gym is mainly females and we spend our time going as heavy as we can get!

Daisymay1000 · 24/09/2025 19:36

Spookygoose · 23/09/2025 14:40

I go to a group strength training gym, almost all the group are women. I’ve started to notice how much many of them seem to play up to the stereotype of a weak, silly, giggly woman. When the (male) instructor is explaining a weights exercise many of them will look aghast, as if they couldn’t possibly do a bicep curl with the 3kg weight he’s demonstrating. Then they’ll act all flustered around the dumbbell as if they don’t know how to pick it up, or do a dramatic scream if one of the weight plates makes a loud noise on a machine when it goes down. Some will giggle and ask for a lighter weight before they’ve even tried to lift the one they’ve been given. Others do a really dramatic performance of lifting fairly light, manageable weights as if they’re trying to lift a car above their heads. There’s a lot of childish giggling and “don’t make me do this!” And “I can’t do anymore!” (After 2 or 3 reps). It’s so annoying! These are young & middle-aged, healthy looking women, who have been going to the gym for a long time, so clearly know what they’re doing. Why are they pretending to be so weak & pathetic?!

Why are you so bothered by what other people do? That’s what I’d be more concerned about.

34ransum · 24/09/2025 19:40

Not my experience at all.
Women in my gym get on with the exercises / classes like any normal person

FlatErica · 24/09/2025 19:58

I’ve never seen behaviour like this and I’ve been lifting since the early 2000s. I’ve only ever had a personal trainer, though, I’ve never been in a group situation.

KnitKnitKnitting · 24/09/2025 20:04

I’ve not encountered this behaviour at the gym, but I absolutely have elsewhere. YANBU OP, it drives me up the wall. Women who are totally capable individuals, who put on a simpering act around (certain) men. I’m not even sure they know they’re doing it.

Siriusmuggle · 24/09/2025 20:13

That sounds awful. We’re more likely to go “ffs, that sounds awful” whilst working as hard as possible. They’d drive me nuts

B1anche · 24/09/2025 20:13

I used to do outdoor fitness classes about 15 years ago and most of the instructors (all men) we ex-military. There were always women there who behaved like.this. Shrieking and gasping and whining if they were told to do a press-up. They were awful.

LadydeBathe · 24/09/2025 20:16

How odd. I have never seen women at the gym behave like this.

lljkk · 24/09/2025 20:18

Find a little tolerance, OP. You do you. Them being [whatever] is not interfering with you keeping fit how you want to.

fetchacloth · 24/09/2025 20:32

YABU I've never seen that behaviour in a gym. My experience of gyms is that people just do their own thing quietly and don't like being stared to bring attention to themselves. Me included.

Missj25 · 24/09/2025 20:53

arethereanyleftatall · 23/09/2025 14:44

I’ve never ever experienced women behaving like that, so I suggest this particular class must be extremely unusual so find a different class.

Yip , same

childofthe607080s · 24/09/2025 21:00

yip that’s very off - change class or just blank them

TattooStan · 24/09/2025 21:44

Never seen it.

I've done body pump, strength training, cross fit, hyrox. Everyone just cracks on and gets stuck in.

The most I'll do, when I read the workout that we're doing in cross fit or hyrox, is let out one of those whistles, like a plumber does when he's looking at your broken boiler, as if to say "bloody hell, this looks bad, strap in!"

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 24/09/2025 21:49

I also don’t recognise this at my gym. if anything I think it’s awesome how many more young and gorgeous young women I see who turn up, work damn hard (and boy can some of them lift!) and have the bodies to show for it. As a life long lover of the gym I would have loved to have had their confidence back in the day.

Spinmerightroundbaby · 25/09/2025 01:57

Spookygoose · 23/09/2025 14:40

I go to a group strength training gym, almost all the group are women. I’ve started to notice how much many of them seem to play up to the stereotype of a weak, silly, giggly woman. When the (male) instructor is explaining a weights exercise many of them will look aghast, as if they couldn’t possibly do a bicep curl with the 3kg weight he’s demonstrating. Then they’ll act all flustered around the dumbbell as if they don’t know how to pick it up, or do a dramatic scream if one of the weight plates makes a loud noise on a machine when it goes down. Some will giggle and ask for a lighter weight before they’ve even tried to lift the one they’ve been given. Others do a really dramatic performance of lifting fairly light, manageable weights as if they’re trying to lift a car above their heads. There’s a lot of childish giggling and “don’t make me do this!” And “I can’t do anymore!” (After 2 or 3 reps). It’s so annoying! These are young & middle-aged, healthy looking women, who have been going to the gym for a long time, so clearly know what they’re doing. Why are they pretending to be so weak & pathetic?!

Haha, bless you, you are naive OP! These ladies are getting a bit of enjoyment of the attention from a fit bloke. 😂 I agree with you, I would inwardly cringe as this wouldn’t be for me either, but I do understand it!

Crushed23 · 25/09/2025 02:08

KnitKnitKnitting · 24/09/2025 20:04

I’ve not encountered this behaviour at the gym, but I absolutely have elsewhere. YANBU OP, it drives me up the wall. Women who are totally capable individuals, who put on a simpering act around (certain) men. I’m not even sure they know they’re doing it.

Can you give examples of where you’ve encountered this behaviour? I’m not disbelieving you or the OP, I’m just struggling to picture this! What’s the point of going to an exercise class if you’re going to whine and stop after 2 or 3 reps?!

B1anche · 25/09/2025 03:02

Spinmerightroundbaby · 25/09/2025 01:57

Haha, bless you, you are naive OP! These ladies are getting a bit of enjoyment of the attention from a fit bloke. 😂 I agree with you, I would inwardly cringe as this wouldn’t be for me either, but I do understand it!

Haha, bless you, you are naive OP!

Jesus Christ. Are you this patronising when you talk to people in real life?

bluebettyy · 25/09/2025 03:12

Put your energy into your own workout, stop judging others.

spoonbillstretford · 25/09/2025 03:14

I've never seen anyone like that at my gym. If anything, it's the young men who are in groups, chatting and faffing about.

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